Escape Plan Green
by Mystic 777
Summary: Sometimes the best plans are the crazy ones, let's hope Cloud can hold on to his sanity long enough to save the world. Crack-ish take on Zack surviving the trip to Midgar and beyond.
1. Escape Plan Green

Escape Plan Green

by Mystic 777

_Disclaimer: If I owned Final Fantasy VII, it would have been a lot sillier..._

* * *

Zack groaned as the comatose Cloud fell prey to another Touch Me. Zack finished off the frogs and dug around in his bag for a maiden's kiss. The yells of the pursuing infantrymen rang through the jungle, closing in fast.

"Sorry Cloud," the ex-SOLDIER scooped up the frog and dashed swiftly through the underbrush and between the trees. Zack laughed, tracing shortcuts he used as a child. After an hour, Zack slowed, smirking at how easily he lost them.

"I know I have the home-team advantage here," he told the frog in his hands, "but actually, this is kind of convenient..." Zack trailed off, and his eyes widened with a manic glee.

* * *

"You lost them AGAIN?" The commander yelled into his radio. "I want that man found! How do you keep losing a man with _that_ hair, carrying a sword _that_ big?" He slammed the headset down and stalked away.

The radio tech shook his head, and ran a hand down his face.

"You got a problem?" Reno drawled with a grin.

"'Is there a problem'?" The man shook his head and checked the headset for damage. "Hell yeah, there's a problem! When those big-wigs sent us after these samples, they neglected to tell us about the Black Ghost!"

"Black Ghost?"

"No other way to describe it..." The man rubbed the back of his neck in frustration. "At first, we thought the blond one had been abandoned somewhere, but sometimes we catch sight of him with the Black Ghost before he vanishes again."

"Some guys call that one 'Mirage' since only one in ten troops has actually seen him." Another tech spoke up, waving his hands in a shrug. "If we surround the Black Ghost, he vanishes too, only to reappear days later and miles away."

"We thought we finally had them cornered at the Midgar cliffs." The first tech shook his head. "Frankly sir, I wish we could capture the Black Ghost, Specimen Z, or whatever you want to call him, and make him teach his escape and evasion techniques!"

* * *

_Several days later..._

Aerith sighed and stroked a flower petal. She hated to cut her flowers, but the expression of wonder on the faces of her customers entirely made up for it. She squeaked when a pair of objects landed at her side with a plopping sound. Aerith stared down at the pair of frogs in her flowerbed. The smaller one shifted nervously, but sluggish, as if it had just awoken. Aerith frowned at the larger frog that practically danced around her; she could have sworn it was smiling at her.

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**AN: **Thanks goes to Circle of Phoenix for beta-work and getting me writing again.

_**Author's Note 16 Nov 2012:** _When I started this, it was originally a two-shot humor piece. It somehow developed a plot of sorts... The third chapter on reflects this.


	2. Black Ghost

**Disclaimer:** If I owned Final Fantasy VII, Zack wouldn't have died and things would have been a lot sillier.

* * *

**Black Ghost**

_(follow-up to Escape Plan Green)_

"Remember," Zack whispered to Cloud, Tifa, and Barret. "If the guards spot us, we're done for. Follow my lead."

Timing his footsteps to match the maroon-clad Shinra guards, Zack dashed across the lobby. Once certain the other side was clear, he timed the way and waved the others across. Sneaking through the building he'd once traveled freely was a surreal experience. The building had changed in the five years he'd been gone, but enough remained the same to raise pangs of nostalgia. Half a second after waving Cloud across, Zack cursed and stepped from his alcove to wave the blond back. Stuck in his daydreaming, he had fallen out of time and the two guards whirled to face the exposed men. One sentry reached for his panic button, then froze, gaping at Zack with wide eyes.

"Davies!" he cried, pointing at Zack. "It's the Black Ghost!"

"Really?" Davies' eyes widened and his hand fell away from his radio. His eyes flickered to Cloud. "Does that mean _he's_ Mirage?"

Zack and Cloud exchanged confused looks. This was hardly the reception they expected. Taking advantage of the pair's inattention, Cloud continued across the lobby.

"Wait!" The first guard called, dashing toward them, Davies not far behind. Zack and Cloud whirled, hands on the hilts of their swords.

"We don't want to fight!" Davies cried, waving his hands. "Polson and I just want your pictures!"

"Pictures?" Zack frowned, hand reflexively loosening. "Why?"

"I was one of the few people to see you and Mirage," Polson explained, brown eyes gazing up earnestly. "But nobody believed me." He hung his head.

"We know we don't have a chance of beating you both," Davies interjected, eyes flicking to the two huge swords. "But we could make things difficult for you." His hand hovered over the transmitter on his wrist.

"So if you let us take pictures of you both, we'll let you go without trouble and pretend you beat us!" Polson cried, whipping out a camera. Davies and Polson circled the dumbstruck pair, cameras flashing wildly, and then backed away.

"Thanks _so _much!" Polson cried, cradling his camera tenderly. "We'll just pretend to be unconscious over there. Have a nice day!" Polson and Davies returned to their patrol path and sprawled lifelessly on the tiles. Cloud and Zack couldn't help but overhear their excited whispers.

"We're going to make a fortune!" Davies crowed. "Black Velvet pays 5,000 gil for pictures of Fair."

"Even better than that," Polson laughed, "Golden Illusion gave Marcos 20,000 gil for a grainy image of the sickly Mirage. Imagine what they'll pay for _these_ babies!" The two laughed and went still.

Cloud shot Zack a horrified look. "Are they talking about what I think they are?"

"I'm afraid so," Zack said with a shaky laugh as they rejoined Tifa and Barret. "Although I thought mine was called 'Zack fan club'..."

"Cloud?" Tifa rushed to the pale blond's side. "What's wrong?"

"Fan club..." Cloud whispered in a haunted voice, eyes distant. Tifa frowned and looked up at Zack for an explanation.

"Midgar fan clubs can be frightening," Zack explained, rubbing the back of his neck. "It hardly helps that his fans are 'rabid'," Zack shuddered. "Mine sound like they are too, but Cloud's are much worse."

The blond whimpered and hugged himself. On one occasion as an infantryman, he was sent to run crowd control for the Silver Elite. He still had scars. Maybe he could find some isolated corner of the world where he could die in shame.

"Hey, look on the bright side," Zack's violet eyes sparkled with mischief. "At least your fan club is 'Golden Illusion' instead of 'Golden Chocobo' or my personal favorite, 'The Yellow Fro-' Whoa!" Zack yelped, barely dodging Cloud's blade.

"Let's just keep going," Tifa plead, shooting the ex-SOLDIER a warning look.

_Many hours later..._

"What do we do?" Tifa cried, peering through the lobby doors at the army of machines and men outside the building. "We're completely surrounded!"

"Don't worry," Zack grinned. "I've got this covered." He pulled a green materia from his pouch, a crazed look in his eyes.

Cloud groaned and covered his face with his hands.

* * *

Author's Notes: While I had a small follow-up for "Escape Plan Green" in mind, I wasn't going to write it yet... But Zack took charge and mixed things up :P I'm thinking of using this story as a place for random, silly Zack-survives stories. Would anyone prefer I not do so? Please review and tell me what you think.


	3. Alfonse

Disclaimer: This is the part where I say I don't own the rights to Final Fantasy VII. There, I said it.

**Edit: 24 Feb 2013-Corrected the color of the carpet.**

* * *

**Alfonse**

Cloud peered out the lobby doors at the blockade of grunts and mechanical soldiers. The whole building was surrounded in a wide enough perimeter that the larger machinery could circle the skyscraper.

"Zack," Cloud sighed, "I know the standards for recruits have dropped considerably since we left Shinra..." His eyes flicked up, remembering the lobby guards several stories up. Then he glared balefully at the transform materia in Zack's hand. "But even these guys would notice five _frogs_ leaving the building."

"Don't worry Cloud, my plan is much better than that!" The former SOLDIER chuckled as he pointed to a small grating on the floor. "We'll escape through the air vents!"

"And then?" Cloud raised a skeptical eyebrow and folded his arms. "At that size, it will take us a day to cross a block, much less leave Midgar. Not to mention, frogs aren't really indigenous to the upper plate."

"Ah, but we won't be frogs! I plan on using 'mini'." Zack shook a chiding finger. "I happen to have a cornucopia. I'll shrink us all and after we get out of the building, one of us will use it and then carry the rest past the blockades. After all, they're looking for a _group_."

Zack waved his arms expansively, and beamed at the party. "That said, who's going to carry us?"

"I ain't doing it!" Barret raised his arms in a warding position. "'S bad enough that damned Mukki and his gang hit on me every time they came to Sector Seven without me acting like some girly-man and carrying around a bunch of dolls."

"They may be looking for a group," Cloud countered, tossing Barret a commiserating look, "but they know all our faces too."

"So one of the ladies can wear a disguise." Zack shrugged, shifting his materia and sliding his Transform into place.

"A disguise hmm?" Aerith hummed, a slow smile spreading across her face as she caught Tifa's eyes. Tifa blinked, then giggled. They both shot Cloud toothy grins. "I think we have a solution to both problems." The ancient laughed.

Cloud paled and then shot the girls a dark look. "I'm not so sure that way is the best." Cloud spoke up before the girls could go into more detail, suddenly all too aware of the violet outfit stowed in the deepest parts of his pack.

"You know Zack, I saw some motorcycles upstairs and a truck in the back. We could really leave in style!"

"Hey, that's not a bad idea!" Zack's eyes took on a considering light.

The pair swiftly climbed the stairs to vehicle display. A pair of heavy duty motorcycles gleamed under the display lights. A matching gleam filled Zack's eyes. "The keys are in the ignition!" He crowed, revving the engine of his chosen bike. "This is so much nicer than the bike I used when we were on the run!"

"The window over there is perfect," Cloud said, pointing at the large glass pane overlooking the freeway. "The truck is downstairs, I'll tell the others to ride it up here."

"Nope, I got it!" Zack's engine roared as he sped for the pale-blue carpeted stairs. Cloud shook his head and turned his bike to the other stairwell.

"Whoa!" Zack yelped, and Aerith gave a little scream as a cacophonous crashing sounded from the lobby.

Cursing, Cloud sped down the stairs and halted, staring at the burning wreck of a motorcycle on the lobby floor in silence. Zack sprawled face-down on the metalic flooring a few paces away. He gave a sheepish moan as he sat up. Cloud wondered how they made it safely to Midgar.

"Well, I suppose I could drive the truck..." Zack ventured weakly, climbing to his feet.

"Back to plan A," Aerith grabbed her boyfriend's arm and led him away from the wreck. She shot Cloud an apologetic look. "Let's find an air vent."

"There is one here," Red XIII jerked his muzzle to a decorated grate on the floor.

"Good work!" Zack patted the bemused feline on the head. Raising his bracer, he shrank the party one by one.

"Zack?" Cloud ventured, brushing the toe of his boot against one of the screws holding the grate down.

"In a sec, Cloud." Zack waved a hand and then shrank Tifa. "It's just you and me left and then we can blow this popsicle stand."

He shook his armlet and blew on it. "Alfonse is getting tired, I'm going to give him a little break before shrinking you."

"Alfonse?" The tiny Aerith asked with a frown. "Who is that?"

"My transform materia, of course!" Zack brandished his bracer proudly. "This little guy saved Spike and I so many times!"

"You named your materia 'Alfonse'?" the shrunken Tifa asked, eying the soldier warily.

"Huh, I thought Alfonse was the name of a new deity you started worshiping." Cloud commented idly.

"New deity? Where did you get THAT idea?" Zack laughed.

"You kept muttering about him on the way to Midgar." Cloud scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Things like 'thank you Alfonse', 'Alfonse, please help us', and even 'Alfonse be praised'. What was I supposed to think?"

"I've heard that talking to inanimate objects is a sign of insanity," Red quipped, flicking his flaming tail. Cloud snickered into his glove.

"Oh, be quiet!" Zack flushed and shrank the blond.

"Zack?" Cloud called with a little more urgency. Screws aside, the grate looked heavy at this size.

"In a moment, the sooner we're off, the sooner I'll find out what the girls have planned." Zack said, waving his bracer in preparation for the final cast.

Cloud snapped his mouth shut, a devious smile spreading across his face. "Won't happen," he chuckled too quietly for the man to hear and gave a nearby screw a final kick.

Aerith followed his gaze and gasped, there was no way they'd be able to open the grate at their diminished size. She whirled to call out to her boyfriend, but it was too late.

"Wow things look strange from this size," Zack whistled, walking up to the group. "Now what was it you wanted Cloud?"

Quickly composing his expression he turned. "I'm afraid we'll have to change our plan slightly," the blond said, shaking his head. "We forgot to unscrew and open the grate cover."

"What? Aw man!" Zack slapped a hand against his forehead. "Anywhere else, I'd say my buster sword or materia could handle it, but they installed materia-proof, high-grade metal grates in the lobby."

"The heck they do that for?" Barret asked raising an eyebrow.

Cloud snorted. "It used to be a rite of passage for cadets to install cameras in the floor vents and see who could get the best up-skirt shot from visitors and secretaries. But you'd know more about that than I would, right Zack?"

Aerith and Tifa glowered at the usually exuberant young man.

"Despite whatever anyone told you, I had _nothing_ to do with those pictures. It was not my fault!" he whined fishing out his cornucopia. He stared at it for a long moment.

"I believe you need to _use_ the item for it to work," Red XIII interjected, his tail lashing. "I dislike this building and little would please me more than leave swiftly."

"But we only have one..." Zack despaired clutching the item like a precious gem. "Aerith, you have a healing limit break, do you have one that heals special conditions too?"

"No," she huffed, rolling her eyes with a grin. "How about I talk my body into creating an esuna-type limit break just for you?"

"That would be great!" Zack cheered, then his smile fell. "Too late for this though. Oh well, I'm sure things will work out." Activating the cornucopia, he returned to his full size and stole Cloud's sword to unscrew the grate.

"I thought certain events were to be forgotten and never mentioned again." Cloud hissed at Aerith. Remembering the whole fiasco with breaking into Don Corneo's mansion gave him the chills.

"I'm with Red on this one, the sooner I'm out of this place the better." She hissed, and then rubbed her upper arm, avoiding his eyes. "I wouldn't have mentioned it if I hadn't found it in the bottom of your bag when I was hunting for potions."

"Why do you still have it?" Tifa asked breaking into the whispered conversation. Her whiskey colored eyes flicked to Barret and Red. The pair were well out of earshot, yelling advice to Zack and pacing respectively.

Cloud's brow furrowed, but before he could answer, Zack gave a triumphant cry and lifted the grating with a painful screeching of metal. Cloud and the girls yelped and scattered as Zack flung the sword back to its owner and it stabbed into the blue carpet like a javelin.

"Time to go guys, they're going to storm the lobby!" Zack cried as a fuming Cloud retrieved his sword. He scooped the party into the vent and stood on the opening and balanced the grating on his head. With a flash of green light, he shrank, leaving the grating to clatter back into place.

* * *

End notes: To my new readers, welcome! I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Any ideas for future antics are much appreciated and I love hearing from you.

To my returning readers... um... heh heh... (shifts nervously) Due to some feedback, and my own feelings, I removed Red Wings and will (eventually) put it in a series of one-shots. Chapter four is in the process of rewriting, but hopefully updating won't take quite so long. Thanks go to Circle of Phoenix for pestering me into getting this done.


	4. Zack's Hero

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy Seven... it is probably better that way...

* * *

Chapter Four: Zack's Hero

"Why didn't you use _this_ spell on me when we were coming to Midgar?" Cloud grumbled as his miniaturized form dodged around an enormous dust bunny.

"Until Alfonse was at a high enough level, I _did_ use mini," Zack defended with a faint whine.

Cloud's jaw dropped and he whirled back to face the ex-SOLDIER. "Then why did you switch to Toad?"

Zack grimaced. "Do you really need to ask? Carrying a mini-Cloud made it look like I had a doll fetish! A dude carrying a frog, on the other hand..." He straightened as much as he was able in the low clearance floor vent. "My pride as a male was at stake!"

"Your 'pride as a male'?" The blond snarled. "Because of that 'pride', I know what the best tasting bugs on two continents are!"

Tifa and Aerith paled and gagged behind their hands. The faint greenish light of mako residue on the walls only emphasized their reaction.

"Hey, I ate them too!" Zack defended.

"That's sick man!" Barret grimaced.

"Do you prefer violet hoppers or Corel beetles?" Red XIII asked Cloud with a note of interest.

"'Violet hopper'?" Cloud frowned slightly. "Are those the ones that taste like peanut butter and chocolate?" The feline nodded and Cloud scratched the back of his head, bemused at the turn in conversation. "Yeah, those were the best."

"Man, Cloud, you have no taste." The raven-haired soldier shook his head. "Those green and red ones near Junon had the most interesting flavor!"

"Junon dung beetle," the feline hummed, "interesting choice."

Zack's smile cracked as Aerith dashed away and puked around a corner. When she shakily returned, he coughed, pulling the party's attention to himself. "Let's keep moving." Cloud nodded and took the lead.

"So how does 'male pride' fit with you using Mini instead of Toad this time?" Aerith asked after she regained her composure.

The raven-haired man rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "Much as I don't like being thought of as a doll, I'd rather not get a concussion hopping through these air vents."

An unearthly squealing interrupted Aerith's reply.

Cloud leaped away from the pincers of what looked like a cross between a rat and a scorpion. Whipping out his stolen Hardedge, the blond spun in midair, pushed off the ceiling and stabbed the monstrosity through its neck. The creature gave a wet gurgle and collapsed. Yanking his sword free, Cloud shook his head lightly. "That was easier than I expected," he muttered.

Zack shook off his shock and rushed to Cloud's side. "That was awesome Spike! Man Cloud, your SOLDIER evaluator must have been _blind_ to miss talent like yours!"

"He was perfectly aware of my talent." Cloud snorted, skirting the twitching corpse.

"What?" Zack cried. "But if you pulled moves like these, why didn't you make it into SOLDIER?"

Cloud grimaced and gave a sheepish laugh. "It might have something to do with me pantsing him for one too many short jokes..."

Barret snorted and the girls gasped.

The raven-haired SOLDIER stopped dead, jaw slack. "You? The cadet that thrashed and utterly humiliated second-class Ferguson was _you_?"

Cloud scratched the back of his head and gave a quiet nod. Zack whooped and seized Cloud's hand, shaking it roughly.

"Oh man, Cloud, you're a hero to ninety percent of SOLDIER." Zack beamed. "Ferguson loved to poke at peoples' sore points, but no one called him on it until you. Heck I think _Hojo_ came higher on the popularity vote than him." Zack mused, and shuddered.

"As amusing as this might be," Red spoke up, "I would rather leave this place, the dust is horrible." The leonine beast grumbled.

"Right," Cloud nodded, pulling his hand from Zack and retaking the lead.

"Wow Cloud, you really seem to know your way around here! Of course, everything looks the same to me." Aerith chirped after a few minutes travel.

"You sure we ain't going in circles?" Barret growled as they went through another intersection. He missed the familiar trail-signs that marked the paths of the cramped Corel coal mines.

"Positive."

"How?" Zack asked curiously.

"Besides the fact that you're leaving a clear trail?" Cloud asked, jerking his chin at the ceiling where Zack's hair swept an obvious path through the dust. Zack yelped, whipped off a glove and gingerly felt the clumps of old dust clinging to his not-quite-so-black spikes.

"Why didn't anybody tell me?" he whined over the poorly concealed snickers.

"What was the other reason?" Red XIII asked, allowing the boisterous human to groom and regain his composure in a semblance of privacy.

"Cloud's always had a really good sense of direction," Tifa chimed in with a half shrug.

"I, myself, am impressed," Red XIII added with a slight growl. "We've yet to recross our scent trail, yet your confidence hasn't diminished in the least. Perhaps you've been this way before?"

Cloud shook his head, "It is my first time in these vents." He paused, and fingered a mesh grating on the wall. "The intake beyond this should lead us to the back of the building."

Barret snorted folding his arms, "I call bull."

"Huh?" Cloud paused, hand on the hilt of his sword.

Aerith giggled, "He's right Cloud, it does sound like you've been here before."

Cloud shrugged and unleashed a cross-slash on the mesh grating. He carefully lowered himself down into the lower passage and then reached up to help Tifa down. "Someone gave me a bit of odd homework and I ended up memorizing the building's ventilation blueprints."

"Dammit Cloud, you could have been my partner! I had to wait an extra year or two to witness your awesomeness!" Zack whined and mentally patted himself on the back when he received one of Cloud's small, genuine smiles.

Twenty minutes and another few mutant rats later, the tunnel took a steep downturn.

"Ah! I smell fresh air!" Zack cried. "Well, as fresh as air gets in Midgar." He corrected sheepishly after Red XIII's glare. The luminescent green haze of the city came into view.

"Um, Spike, were those on your diagrams?" The ex-SOLDIER asked, pointing ahead. Thick, vertical bars blocked access to the outside.

Cloud's brow furrowed and he stroked his chin. "Yeah, they were. But with a mixture of my ice materia and your Buster sword, we should be able to break them."

"What?" Zack yelped, stroking the handle of the Buster Sword. "Why don't I hold the spell while _you_ hit the metal?"

Cloud rolled his eyes. "My Hardedge may have a keener edge, but I don't trust Shinra weapons enough to take the hit." When it looked like his friend wasn't moving, Cloud caught Tifa's eyes, raised his eyebrows, and slanted a look at Aerith.

The young woman rolled her eyes and whispered into the Ancient's ear. They _did_ sort of owe him for trying to get him to cross-dress again...

"Angeal, please forgive me what I'm about to do," Zack whispered five minutes later with the Buster sword awkwardly pressed to his brow in the low passage. With a loud yell, he smashed the blade against the frozen bar and the metal shattered like glass. The party emerged in a filthy alley.

"Man, am I glad to be out of there!" Zack cried, stretching his back, wincing at the pops it made.

"Base, this is Covert Agent 49B reporting." A brunette spoke into a cell phone, her businesslike tone underlaid with a note of excitement. "Primary targets Ghost and Mirage spotted in company of Flower and three unknowns. Commencing operation."

Snapping the phone shut, she turned to the party. "First Class Zack Fair, Private Cloud Strife and company, I am here to get you through the Shinra blockade." Her mud-brown eyes lit with an inner fire as her eyes flicked from Zack to Cloud. She fingered a set of pins on her chest. One was black with a violet "BV" on it, the other was a cheery yellow with white "GI" inscribed on it.

"Zack... Are those what I think they are?" Cloud's whisper bore the faint note of hysteria Zack hadn't heard since a trap had landed the poor infantryman onto a sleeping tonberry. The glowing blue eyes took on a haunted look. Zack followed his friend's gaze and felt the blood drain from his face.

Pleased at the attention, she stroked the badges proudly, "These are badges for Black Velvet and Golden Illusion. I was one of the first members."

Zack swallowed thickly and regretted his lack of cornucopias. "Not that we're not grateful for the offer, I think we'll pass."

Her brow furrowed. "Please come quietly, I'd hate to have to force you, but it's really for your own good." She pulled an orb filled with rainbow sand from her bag. "Although, this option isn't without its benefits!" She purred.

"Dream Powder!" Zack hissed at the sight. "Run!" He bellowed. Already ahead of the game, Cloud whirled for the vent, but it was too late.

"Don't worry, I won't hurt you." Agent 49B soothed with a light giggle, tossing the rainbow sand over the party. "After all, I'm one of your biggest fans..."

Cloud gave a final choked whimper and then sleep overcame him.


	5. Mastermind

_Thank you for your patience. Here's the next chapter. Enjoy and please let me know what you think!_

* * *

Chapter Five: Mastermind

A faint giggle reached his ears and Cloud shivered without opening his eyes. Though his patch of floor was as hard as ever, the room he shared with the male members of Avalanche was unusually cool this morning. If he didn't know Barret couldn't afford it, he would have sworn he was sleeping on tile. He tightened his grip around the warm pillow in his arms. It smelled like that flowery shampoo Tifa used. Nuzzling the silky surface, he gave a pleased hum.

A faint clicking sound reached his ears along with a woman's distant laughter. Barret's snores weren't enough to cover the barely heard whispers. Cloud wished the man wouldn't sleep with the window open as the Marson sisters insisted the alley behind Seventh Heaven was the perfect place to share their gossip. Lingering in the haze of half-wakefulness, he frowned. Seventh Heaven lay buried under the wreckage of the plate. A woman's poorly muffled coo snapped him back to reality. He stiffened and his mako-bright eyes shot open.

"And that's time! Marilee, you won that one." A brunette holding a small black book announced. Out of his sight, Marilee gave a cheer. Several other women moaned in disappointment. The clicking noise repeated as several cameras flashed in his direction.

The blond shuddered, as far as he could see, women lined the walls and towered over his prone form. Some perched on wooden chairs with padding leaking from the shredded cushions. Others leaned against bare plaster where there might once have been wood paneling. A small part of his mind noted that although gray and cracked, the floor actually _was _tile.

However, a larger problem filled his mind; he lay in a room ringed with fan girls, _his _fan girls, and he was still tiny. His throat went dry and he swallowed convulsively. A strange paralysis gripped his body yet his eyes darted around searching for a viable exit to no avail. The pillow in his arms shifted and gave a small moan. He looked down and met Tifa's sleep-clouded eyes. No wonder it smelled like her shampoo. Cloud and Tifa froze, gazes locked and cheeks flushing as they noticed their entwined legs and intimate embrace.

"Natalie, and against all odds, Melissa!" The bookie called gleefully. More cheers rang out.

"Fun time's over ladies," a small woman with chin length black hair poked her head between a pair of peeling, ash-gray swinging doors. "Advance look-outs say the boss is coming. Time to unshrink them."

"That's the next step anyway," the bookie shrugged. "Let 'er rip Kelsey."

Cloud saw the green motes of light in his peripheral vision, but didn't take note until a size-fourteen combat boot slammed into his back. His face flew towards Tifa's. The indignant cries of the rest of the party muffled the crack of his nose colliding with her forehead.

The women hissed and moaned in sympathy while yelps and bellows filled the air. A few women attempted to help remnants of Avalanche untangle themselves. A dozen others surrounded the group, gleefully taking pictures. Barret scowled and scraped fur off his tongue while slurring curses. The blond blearily observed all of this as Tifa held a tissue the sympathetic bookie provided to his bleeding nose.

"I don't think anybody bet on that one..." Agent 49B muttered, shaking her head.

"Actually-" the brunette began.

"I did." A man finished from where he stood behind the lookout with his arms crossed. "Why do you think I told you to put them farther apart?" The woman squeaked, shot him a guilty glance and dodged out of the doorway.

He stepped into the room and held one door open while waving toward the hallway beyond. "You've had your fun ladies; it is time for you to get back to work. I have a briefing to conduct."

With a few low murmurs of disappointment, the women filed out. A short blonde handed Tifa something with a giggle before skipping out. Tifa blushed and hid the item in her hip pouch before Cloud could see it.

"Follow me." The man ordered and left the aged dining hall. Cloud's brow furrowed as he climbed to his feet and helped Tifa up. The man's voice was strangely familiar. He peered closely at his back as they walked down the filthy, dim hallway of what seemed to be an abandoned hotel. The man's deep gold hair hung to his shoulders.

The former infantryman's eyes narrowed, the stranger's powerful build and fluid gait betrayed his fighting experience. He shot a sideways look at Zack who nodded slowly. Barret noticed the exchange and carefully checked his gun arm. The stranger led them to a small meeting room. Aged leather chairs circled a slightly warped conference table. The monitors on the back wall displayed a rotating diagram of the main Shinra building.

"Please make yourselves comfortable." The man waved to the seats, and then lowered himself into the chair at the head of the table. He locked his mako-bright, navy eyes on the party. Barret cursed and Zack reached for his buster sword. Cloud paused.

A lesser known side-effect of serving in Shinra's infantry included recognizing people from the shape of their cheeks and noses. Cloud peered intently at the man's face a moment and then started laughing. Zack shot the young man a wary look. "You okay buddy?"

Cloud's laughter petered off, and he shook his head. A rueful smile spread across his face. "It figures _you're _ behind all of this," he chuckled. "I never thought you would remember the 'homework' you gave me or that I would ever find a use for it."

"You know this guy?" Zack gaped at his friend.

"Aw, I'm hurt Zack!" The man pouted. "I've waited five years to see you again and you forgot about me?" An awkward silence fell and Barret chuckled at Zack's gape-mouthed expression. Tifa and Aerith exchanged a shocked look and waited for the former SOLDIER to reply to the confession.

"Um, I don't know what kind of information your club has on me," Zack raised his palms toward the man. "But I don't swing that way. I already have an awesome girlfriend." He reached over and caught Aerith's hand. She beamed approvingly up at him.

The man's smile grew strained, torn between shocked denial and humor. Cloud had no such conflict. He howled with laughter. The leader mock glared at Cloud and shot Tifa a hopeful look. "What about you, Tifa? Do you recognize me?"

Although she relaxed at Cloud's humor and easy manner with the man, she stiffened again. "Um... Should I?"

He sighed, shoulders slumping. "It _has_ been a long time; I guess I shouldn't be too surprised."

"You both know him," Cloud coughed and wiped his streaming eyes. "Zack, picture him in a Second Class uniform with helmet. Tifa imagine him with a hairstyle like mine."

The pair frowned and peered at the man. Their eyes widened in shock. "Kunsel?"

"How _did_ you manage that, by the way?" Cloud patted down his massive hair spikes to no avail.

"Ah, the curse of the Strife hair," Kunsel chuckled.

"Strife hair?" Zack whispered to Tifa, swinging his head back and forth between the pair of the blonds. "Kunsel's last name isn't Strife."

"Kunsel and Cloud are cousins," Tifa hissed, and then hushed the man. She wanted to hear Kunsel's answer too.

"Ah Cloud," The man chuckled, wagging a finger at him. "You don't think I wore a helmet constantly for ten years for _nothing_ did you?"

The younger Strife grimaced, "You're _joking_. That's-"

"Wait," Barret held up his arms, brow furrowed. "This Kunsel guy is your buddy," he waved to Zack, "and your cousin?" He pointed at Cloud.

Both men nodded.

"And you lead that pair of fan clubs Spiky here's afraid of?" He directed this at Kunsel, getting another nod in response. "Then _why_," he growled through clenched teeth, "did we have to be kidnapped by the freaky lady with dream powder?"

"Freaky lady eh?" Kunsel's snicker cut off when he saw Cloud shudder. He cleared his throat. "Well, Vanessa was one of at least fifty contingency plans and available agents were hard to get with such short notice."

"Honestly," He shrugged and scratched his chin. "I expected you guys to take the vehicles on display and have a nerve-wracking drive on the incomplete freeway. After fighting off grunts on motorcycles, you would have an epic battle with that metallic monstrosity blocking the Sector 5 thoroughfare."

Aerith gave a nervous giggle and muttered. "Makes me kind of glad we took a different way."

"Why _didn't_ you take the vehicles?" Kunsel asked curiously. He leaned forward and rested his chin in the palm of his hand. "Our agents even made sure there were two motorcycles."

"No reason!" Zack chirped, his ever-present smile growing slightly fixed. Cloud coughed into his hand and turned away from his friend.

"That's cause Mr. Full-'o-Grace here," Barret jerked his thumb at Zack, "got cocky and crashed his. Never thought I'd see a SOLDIER come down a whole flight of stairs on his face."

Cloud's coughing fit redoubled and the raven-haired SOLDIER glared suspiciously at him. "Why didn't _you_ have any trouble?"

The young man shrugged with a small grin. "Didn't you hear Kunsel's version of the escape? We grunts have a motorcycle elective-course."

"What? No fair!"

Amidst the laughter at Zack's deepened pout, Red lifted his head and peered at the former second class. "You mentioned your agents placing vehicles as well as multiple contingency plans." The feline cocked his head to the side. "It sounds more like a military operation than a group sharing a common obsession."

Silence fell, and Kunsel sat up nodding slowly. "Well observed. You are correct. While we still have our 'obsessed' members, the core of your group has a larger perspective."

He laughed and one corner of his mouth twitched up. "You probably don't know this Cloud, but after your traumatizing experience with Sephiroth's fan club, someone snapped your picture." He gave a toothy grin, "Let's just say you became an instant celebrity and gained a following of your own. Since you and Zack hung out often, your clubs collaborated to share photos and gossip."

Cloud's eyes widened and he shivered. Zack nodded thoughtfully. "I guess that part makes sense, but how do you and the fan clubs come into all this?" He waved at the computers and dilapidated hotel.

Kunsel shook his head. "Let's just say the power of obsession should never be underestimated. A few of our lovely ladies managed to hack Shinra security and caught images and whispers about you two. That you weren't really dead... Of course, that's where I came in. Shinra doesn't really monitor the fan clubs like they do 'terrorist groups', so I decided to use your fan clubs to strike back at Shinra."

"How would that work?" Tifa frowned at the older blond.

"Quite simple, fans thrive on stories and information on the object of their obsession; I merely gave them what they wanted. Photos, images, _stories_..." His smile took on a sharp edge. "Fans with just a picture are worrisome; add a heroic or tragic back-story and you can start a revolution."

He shrugged, toning down his intensity and waved a hand. "The large part of our organization is made of normal people who've heard your stories and are angry at Shinra's manipulation. Our agents are all over the world, ready to help you in nearly any endeavor."

He paused, giving them a moment to let his words sink in. "So, knowing you have such extensive backing," Kunsel locked eyes with Cloud and then Zack. "What are you going to do with it?"

Cloud and Zack frowned. Zack's eyes flicked to Aerith and Cloud nodded. "We're going after Sephiroth, or whoever that was in the tower." Cloud answered, "As for the rest of you-"

"I'm going." The rest of the party interrupted.

Zack gaped at Barret. "What about Marlene?"

"She's already with Elmyra, one of our agents," Kunsel assured him. "She'll be fine. We even have recordings of Mr. Wallace here singing 'The Seven Silly Mogs' to help her get to sleep." Barret sputtered, cheeks reddening. Red gave a coughing laugh from his position curled on the floor.

"My _Mom_ is one of your agents?" Aerith cried, green eyes widening.

"Of course," Zack breathed nodding his head. "That explains why she didn't kill me after I left you for so long!"

The door opened and a young woman with a radio headset popped her head in. "Sir, all the preparations are in place. This is the last room we need to pack up."

"Good." Kunsel stood up. "How long until the Shinra sweeps reach us?"

"They are working through Sector Four right now."

"Right. Follow me." He led the party from the room and down a narrow hallway. Through one open door, Cloud saw a crew of men and women dressed like transients rolling a threadbare carpet over a wooden hatch and then spreading ratty bedding over it. The nymph-like blonde from earlier paused in smearing dirt and ashes on her face to toss them a cheery wave.

"They're pretending to be homeless?" Aerith theorized as she waited for Barret to squeeze through a heavy metal door that only opened part way.

"As I'm sure you deducted, this base is in the slums." Kunsel shrugged and led the party down a creaking wooden staircase. Every few steps, he reached for the cord of a hanging light.

Zack dodged a swinging bare bulb and snorted. "Hide a tree in a forest eh?" He peered over the rotted railing into the darkness below.

"Why doesn't this bother you? Aren't you afraid of falling?" Aerith cried as she clung to the moss and mildew slick wall. Tifa, in a similar position nodded.

Zack laughed, shrugging his shoulders. "Well, it can't be worse than falling off the plate."

"That still hurt though." Cloud added with a small grimace.

Kunsel's chuckle drifted up from the darkness below. "You're almost there ladies." The scraping of metal on concrete echoed from below.

Soon the party stood around the dark hole. A faint roar of air traveling through the tunnels came from the pit. Red sniffed the opening and sneezed. "It is a sewer, but it does not smell like one."

"Yeah, these old sewers haven't been used in ages. At least not as _sewers_." Kunsel winked then handed Tifa a small, wind-up light and gave Cloud a map. "Follow the green line on the map. The tunnels will take you outside of Midgar. Our agents in Kalm can tell you where Sephiroth is heading. They'll speak in code to keep themselves safe, but you should be able to figure it out without too much trouble."

"Thanks Kunsel," Cloud clasped his cousin's arm while Barret climbed down the ladder.

Kunsel yanked Cloud's arm, pulled him into a half-hug, and whispered, "I'm glad you're alright chica-bo. Be careful out there." Cloud grimaced at the half-forgotten nickname and nodded.

The fan club leader pulled away and looked at his friend. "Zack, take care of them."

"Right." He gave a curt nod and then turned back to the former second with a faint gleam in his eye. "Any last bits of information before we go?"

A smirk curled the man's lips and his eyes flicked to his cousin. "Yes actually... if you still want to challenge Bro in sector six, you'll have to settle for a dyed wig."

"Huh?"

* * *

**AN: Next chapter, finally outside of Midgar! Reviews are greatly appreciated! ^_^**


	6. Democracy at its finest

_I've decided that I really *do* run on reviews... they make me happy and more eager to update ^_^ Many thanks to those who favorited and put this story on alert. I had fun with this chapter, enjoy!_

* * *

Chapter Six: Democracy at its finest

A lone Kalm Fang trailed his nose along the Lifestream-parched soil of the Midgar Wasteland. The game in this area was typically poor, yet sometimes a lost Mu burrowed in. The vulpine beast dropped to his haunches and scratched an ear, violet strands of his mane drifting lazily in the cool, soon-to-be-hot morning air. His ears swiveled as faint scraping underground reached his ears.

Luck was on his side today!

Stalking carefully to the shifting soil, he crouched, ready to pounce on the tasty ground rodent. A hole opened and dusty black spikes of fur emerged. While an unusual color for a Mu, he wasn't about to give up an easy meal and sprang at the creature. In mid-air, the beast caught the widening of glowing violet eyes on the two-foot's face. With the unnatural speed common to the glow-eyes, the two foot yelped and leaped from the hole prepared for battle.

The Kalm Fang had half a moment to regret his hasty leap before the two-foot raised his not-foot, a bright-stone shining on it. Smoke obscured his vision just as he bounced painfully off the two-foot and skidded on the rocky ground.

So much for luck.

* * *

Cloud popped his head from the hole and stared at the disoriented frog attempting to get to its feet. He climbed out at a much more sedate pace than his tall friend. "You know Zack, I think that's the first time I've seen you use your transform materia on an enemy."

"I forgot I still had it equipped," Zack defended, switching Alfonse out of his bracer.

Cloud snickered at his friend's affronted look, and looked back at the squirming frog. "Sort of over-kill though, I almost feel sorry for it." The mammal-turned-amphibian finally figured out its body and hopped away as fast as it could.

"You wouldn't if you remembered how many times one of those things tried to eat us." Zack grumbled, crouching to help Aerith out of the tunnel.

As soon as the humans cleared the opening, Red XIII gracefully leaped out. "Man, cats are so cool. Wouldn't it be awesome to be able to do that?" Zack asked, grinning down at the feline.

"You _can_ do that Zack, and you have dirt and cobwebs in your hair again." Cloud pointed with an amused half smile. The former SOLDIER squawked and ran his fingers through his hair. Chuckling, the blond helped Zack get some of the dirt off his back.

Red rumbled a small laugh, and then eyed both of the mako-enhanced men a moment. "If we are to become a pack, we should have a clearer order of command."

"That's a good idea." Tifa chimed, looking up from picking a few cobwebs from the ends of her long ponytail. "I think Cloud would be a good leader."

"Forget that! I'm the leader!" Barret raised his gun arm in what might have been an attempt at a heroic pose. The others stared at him and he glowered at them. "Ain't anyone gonna agree with me?"

Aerith scratched her cheek and gave a sheepish laugh. "How about we vote on it?"

"Damn," Barret's shoulders slumped. "But I've got the leadership skills!"

"You may have led terrorist attacks, but I have experience leading military movements." Zack countered, taking advantage of being the only one who could truly look the man in the eye.

"Will it be open voting, or secret ballot?" Cloud asked. His forehead creased and his eyes darted between the two glaring men. While Barret kept his expression grim, Zack turned it into a staring contest and started making faces at the other man. Barret rolled his eyes and looked away while Zack whooped over his victory.

"We _could_ do a secret ballot." Aerith hummed, a smile spreading across her face. "I have a pen and pad of paper. You can go first Zack!" She handed her boyfriend a pen and a piece of paper before giggling and passing single sheets to the others.

"I feel so emasculated," Zack moaned holding the bright pink pen and the flower-shaped, purple sticky-note with his fingertips. "Cloud, Barret, don't _either_ of you have a pen or paper?"

"Hurry up and write on your pansy, you pansy." Barret snarled, adhering the paper to his gun arm and waiting for his turn with the pen.

Aerith fairly bounced with delight. "I'm impressed Barret, I wouldn't have thought you could tell it was a pansy." Zack crowed with laughter at the man's abashed expression.

"Stop whining and write," Cloud huffed at his friend and wiping a trickle of sweat off his cheek. "It is starting to heat up and I want to get off these plains."

Sniffing daintily, Zack scrawled the name on his paper, folded it with an exaggerated haughty expression, and passed the pen to Barret like it was a dirty tissue. Barret rolled his eyes, long desensitized to things "girly" due to raising Marlene. Cloud's expression didn't even flicker while he wrote, although Tifa winced slightly at the intense pink. Aerith wrote Red's vote down for him, pocketed her pen and froze. The party stood in a loose circle, folded scraps of purple paper in their hands. No one said anything, and the awkward silence stretched out while the temperature continued to rise.

"Um, now what?" Cloud asked, growing tired of not-quite meeting anyone else's eyes.

Aerith frowned a moment and then made a small 'aha'. She elbowed Zack in the ribs. "Give me one of your boots."

"What? Why?"

"Just do it!" she hissed, squatting and nearly ripping his left boot off. When she had it in her hands, she triumphantly dropped her and Red's votes inside. A second later, she froze, and her green eyes widened. She held the footwear between pinched fingers much the same way Zack treated her pen and set it in the center for the others to drop their votes in. It didn't take long for the stench to reach the rest of the party.

"This is worse than the pen," Tifa moaned in a whisper to Cloud. The corner of his mouth twitched in a smile of agreement.

"'Least you got a free hand to plug your nose with," Barret grumbled back at her when he overheard.

Choking back laughter, they looked at the last person to put in their vote. Zack balanced on one foot like a tipsy crane and whined. "How am I supposed to reach it?"

"Hop." Barret huffed, still annoyed with the former SOLDIER. "Or are you not skilled enough to make it?"

Pride stung, Zack hopped three times before his foot caught a rock and he stumbled to hands and knee, left leg raised to keep his sock off the dirt.

"Hm, peeing dog position." Red mused in a deadpan voice. "I give this fall four points." Aerith squeaked and turned around red faced, her shoulders quivering. Tifa shook her head and Cloud rushed to Zack's side to let the pouting man lean on his shoulder for balance.

Barret's laughter rang across the empty waste. "If that was a four, what about the one in the tower?"

The leonine dropped to his haunches and flicked an ear. "I'd say a five. While this one gets points for artistry, the stair skid included a rather impressive display of distance."

"Is that five out of five?" Tifa asked, the corner of her mouth twitching as she fought a grin.

"Of course not," Red sniffed raising his nose in a mock-condescending gesture. "The score is points out of ten. While Zack is an apprentice at artistic falls, he _does_ seem to be learning."

"You guys are mean," Zack's lip trembled in an attempt to use kicked-puppy eyes on them. The effect was spoiled when the corner of his mouth twitched as he fought a grin.

Ignoring the pathetic play for sympathy, Tifa turned to Aerith who finally managed to stifle her giggles and asked. "Now what?"

"Now we take the papers out and count the votes." Aerith chirped and then stared down at the boot. She grimaced and shot Cloud a pleading look. Rolling his eyes, the blond left Zack and snatched the boot from the ground. He shook the papers into his hand, returned the boot to its owner and then extended the pile to Aerith.

She shied back, hands raised. "Why don't you just read them Cloud?" The flower girl insisted in a strained voice.

Rolling his eyes, he thrust his hand into the boot and pulled out the folded slips of paper. Ignoring Tifa and Barret's whispered remarks that he should burn his glove later, he unfolded them one by one. The votes fell two for Zack, four for Cloud. Shoving the small pile in his pocket he tried not to grimace while most of the party congratulated him.

Scratching the back of his head, Zack sighed. "Aw man. Well at least Aerith voted for me!" He winked at her, not catching the look she shot the slightly frowning Cloud.

"Actually, I didn't vote for you Zack." She admitted taking one of his large hands in her own. "I think Cloud voted for you." His grin faltered and his shoulders slumped. She tugged his hand, motioning for him to let her whisper in his ear. He leaned down and she cupped her hands around his left ear.

Cloud scratched the back of his head and dug the toe of his boot into the cracked and blackened soil. Even if Aerith only _breathed_ her words he would be able to hear. Zack froze at Aerith's words, and the sparkle slowly returned to his eyes, followed by a goofy grin. Cloud's eyes widened and he spun to face away from the pair. He ducked his head towards his shoulders, suddenly missing the infantry neck-scarf that could have hidden his furious blush.

"Brilliant!" Zack whooped, looping his arm around her waist and swinging her in a small circle. "I'm glad you're smart enough to think ahead. And Cloud, thanks for the vote of confidence." Still facing away from the pair, Cloud tossed back a weak wave and tried to avoid Tifa's questioning eyes.

"Well, oh great leader, what should we do now?" Zack asked, slinging his free arm around the younger man's shoulders and smirking down at his red earlobes. Cloud coughed a few times before responding.

"Kunsel said to go to Kalm." He raised a hand to shield his eyes and scanned the area to get his bearings. He pointed to a bit of the wasteland indistinguishable from the rest of the horizon. "The town is that way."

"Now just a moment." Zack's hand tightened on his friend's shoulder. "Are you sure you want to follow Kunsel's directions so closely? Don't get me wrong, Kunsel is a great friend and his ability to gather information is... scary! But..."

"But?" Tifa prompted, lifting the thick mass of her hair away from the back of her neck and fanning it with her other hand.

"Well," the former SOLDIER pulled away from Cloud and Aerith and paced, waving his hands as he tried to articulate his thoughts. "I've noticed that if you start following Kunsel's 'leads' he'll end up jerking you all over the place."

Tifa and Cloud rolled their eyes at each other. "You're preaching to the choir Zack. I grew up with him, remember?" The blond shook his head with a rueful grin. "Remember the Dorky Face?"

She half-laughed, half-moaned. "How could I forget? Where did he _find_ that thing anyway?"

Chuckling and shaking his head, Cloud pulled his expression back to a more serious look. "Anyway, if we didn't go to Kalm, where would we go? Sephiroth should have headed there as well."

"Ah, but you forget," Zack waved a chiding finger. "Sephiroth is now a fugitive so he should be avoiding heavily populated areas. So, where would he go?"

"Kalm." Barret huffed.

"Not being part of Shinra, you would say that. But at this time every year, the Junon tunnels close for repairs. It would be beyond easy for the general to sneak past a few maintenance men. With a little skill, we can do the same!"

Cloud adjusted the direction of Zack's arm slightly so it pointed the right way, and then grimaced. "Actually Zack, that's _not_ why the tunnels close. This is when the army's motorcycle-response section practices advanced maneuvers."

"Advanced maneuvers? Like drivin' on the walls and roof?" Barret joked with a smile.

"Actually, yes."

The former First's jaw dropped. "No. Way. Why didn't anyone tell us about that? I would have been all over riding a bike on the ceiling!"

"Which is why they kept it a secret Zack." Cloud sighed, rolling an ice materia in his palm and then sticking it against his sweat-soaked neck.

"I should have joined the army." The tall man whined. "It sounds like you guys learned a lot of cool things."

"That's alright Zack, we still know who to call to do our heavy lifting and change our light bulbs." Tifa teased.

Seeing Zack getting ready to present another argument, Cloud raised his arms and said. "Even though most of SOLDIER didn't know about the closures, Sephiroth did. Our best bet is to follow Kunsel's advice."

Heaving a deep sigh, Zack nodded and waved a hand towards the party. "Shouldn't we split up first? Judging by the soil, we're still close to Midgar,"

Cloud frowned and looked the group over. "I'm not to sure that's the best idea..."

"The smaller hunting party avoids predators more easily," Red XIII rumbled in support of the plan.

Still frowning, Cloud nodded. "Alright. Barret, Tifa, you're with me. Zack, we'll meet you three in Kalm. We've got each other's PHS number in case of emergency."

"You got it buddy, of course, _we'll_ be waiting for _you_!"

Cloud tossed a two fingered salute over his shoulder and his group quickly grew indistinct among the wasteland's heat mirage.

* * *

"I regret my choice." Red growled to Cloud when Zack's party dragged themselves to Kalm long after sundown. "We should have stayed together."

Cloud frowned down at the irritated feline's matted mane, the pouting flower girl and the filthy former SOLDIER. "We expected you hours ago and you didn't answer your PHS Zack. What _happened_?"

"Nothing! Ab-solutely nothing!" Zack insisted forcefully, shooting the feline a warning look. Red XIII heaved a weary sigh, flopped to the floor, whimpered once, and then fell asleep. Aerith shook her head and slipped into the bathroom for a long shower.

Tifa, Cloud, and Barret exchanged dubious looks. Tifa picked a clump of dirt from Zack's hair and shook her head. "Whatever happened was messy. I'm glad you all made it though, we were worried."

"Just a little trouble," Zack gave her a twitching smile and ran his hands through his hair to remove the larger chunks of mud. "I'm going to use the shower in the other room." Avoiding Cloud and Tifa's concerned gazes, he slipped through the door.

Cloud blew out a long breath. "Sorry Barret, we'll have to fill you in on the situation with Sephiroth tomorrow, I don't think Zack's going to be up to it tonight."

The Avalanche leader grunted in agreement.

The next morning the rag-tag group gathered in one of the inn's rooms and assembled to hear Cloud and Zack's history with the errant general. Red XIII curled on the rug in a patch of sunlight. Zack sprawled on the bed closest to the window while Tifa and Aerith sat on the center bed. The Ancient swung her legs over the side while the younger girl braided her hair. Cloud leaned against the wall by the window and watched the sleepy town come to life.

Barret slammed the door shut and threw himself into the last bed. He folded his arms and glared at Cloud, Zack, and Tifa. "So spill. You and Cloud said Sephiroth killed the old prez one minute and that he couldn't because he's been pushing up daisies for years the next. What's going on?"

"I only know part of it." Tifa raised her hands palms out and shook her head. "Zack and Cloud know most of it."

"Zack." Cloud shook his head his expression darkening. "You saw more of it than I did. We can fill in if we remember anything more."

Flinching at the subtle reminder of his friend's still patchy memories, the tall man fidgeted against the headboard and drew his knees up. "It all started on a mission to Nibelheim. General Sephiroth and I were acting as the ranking SOLDIERs and Cloud was with us as an infantryman."

"Wait, that's another thing that's been bothering me." Barret interrupted and squinted up at the blond leaning on the wall by the window. "Cloud keeps mentioning being a grunt and you keep backing him up. Since when do grunts get the glowy eyes?"

"That's part of the story." Zack sniffed turning his nose up. "Anyway, poor Cloud was sick as a dog-"

"Zack, why are you even including this part?" Cloud cried blushing in humiliation when Aerith tutted in sympathy. "Skip ahead Zack, we don't need to cover every step of the journey."

"You have no sense of atmosphere," Zack sniffed before continuing. "Anyway on the way we met a dragon..."

_Much later..._

Cloud, Tifa, and Zack each sprawled on a bed after relating the events from Nibelheim's fall up to the return from Hojo's labs. As light as the former first class had attempted to make the tale, some things defied the light mood. Sensing the need for time, the others left to give the three a chance to recoup from the difficult tale.

"Hey Cloud, why did you skip over the best parts?" Zack asked in the contemplative silence.

The blond stopped stroking his shirt over the scars in his chest and looked up, expression wary. "What do you mean?"

Zack grinned at Tifa, "Cloud forgot to mention going to your house..." Cloud's eyes widened.

"What?" Tifa propped herself up on one elbow to look at him. "You went to my house?"

When Cloud hung his head, Zack continued. "Yeah, even though he didn't have the guts to talk to you as an infantryman, he went into your house and jammed on your piano."

"Cloud, did you really play my piano?"

"Just a little." Cloud admitted with a shrug. "I started to learn how to read music while in Midgar."

Zack nodded, his mouth stretched in a shark like grin. "And _then_ I saw him leave with a pair of women's orthopedic underwear..." Tifa clenched a fist, the leather of her gloves squeaking ominously.

"ZACK!" Cloud bellowed. Leaping over Tifa's bed, he crushed a pillow into the man's face, trying to smother him. "My mom gave me those to deliver to old Lady Herrin! It had _nothing_ to do with Tifa's house!"

The aura of fury faded from around Tifa and she frowned in confusion. "Old Lady Herrin? Didn't she move away from Nibelheim ten years ago? You met her again?"

Disappointed that his prank had fizzled, Zack pushed Cloud off and sat up. "Some old lady doesn't have anything to do with this." Cloud's eyes darted around the room nervously, peering into the corners and he shuddered.

"Yeah," Cloud squeaked and huddled where he'd fallen against Zack's bed. "She's not involved in this at all."

"Although, it would be great if she lived here," Tifa shook her head. "That woman seemed to know _everything_ that was going on in Nibelheim and even gossip from outlying cities, didn't she, Cloud?"

He gave a weak nod, growing pale, he needed to change the conversation but couldn't think of how. He hated to think of the punishment Kunsel would mete out if people realized that Old Lady Herrin didn't exist. "She" had been Kunsel the entire time, the guise of the elderly woman served as the first of his cousin's methods of obtaining information. The blond _still_ had nightmares from the threats his cousin leveled after he inadvertently discovered the ruse.

"Come to think of it... Kunsel lived with her as an errand-boy before she moved away and he joined SOLDIER." Tifa mused resting her chin in her cupped hand. "I wonder if that is how he got started on his information networking?"

Cloud slowly peeked over his shoulder in trepidation. Zack stared into space, frowning slightly and rolling a lock of hair between his fingers. If Zack figured it out, Cloud's cross-dressing fiasco coming to light would be the _least_ of his worries. Mind scrambling like a cat slipping off a greenhouse roof, he leaped to his feet. "That's it!"

"What? What's it?" Zack yelped, accidentally pulling his hair.

"We'll do what Old Lady Herrin would do: look for the gossip." Cloud said. '_Please work, please work_.'

Tifa slowly nodded in agreement. "I'll stay here to let the others know what you're doing. Keep an eye out for older women, they are some of the best sources of information."

"Right-oh!" Zack saluted before he leaped off the bed and dragged Cloud out of the room. "We've got old ladies to stalk."

"Zaa-aack," Cloud moaned, hiding his face in the palm of his free hand. "Do you ever listen to what you're saying?"

After exchanging a few good-natured jibes, Cloud relaxed a little more. With Zack distracted, he'd likely forget his budding suspicion about Kunsel and Old Lady Herrin.

The pair wandered the streets of Kalm for an hour without success. "Man, there aren't any old ladies out." Zack grumbled in between bites of an apple.

"Maybe they heard your comment about stalking and ran away." Cloud jibbed and then froze as he witnessed a pair of middle-aged women walk out of a house and give them an appraising look.

"Did you hear what Alicia did to her hair?" The brunette asked in an overly loud voice. Cloud grimaced as Zack bounced on his feet and failed to look like he wasn't eavesdropping.

"She's the girl with the long _black_ hair on Fourth Street, right?" The plump woman with the graying red hair asked in an equally loud voice, her eyes darting to Zack and Cloud then away.

"That's the girl, she put _gold_ streaks in it!" She shook her head. Cloud grimaced, Kunsel said his agents would let them know who they were, but this was almost painful. "But speaking of black..." she continued. "Did you hear about the man in black that passed town a few days ago?"

"This is it!" Zack crowed, shaking the blond's shoulder.

"Oh yes, I heard he was headed for the Mythril Mines." The motherly woman shook her head.

"That poor young man must not be right in the head. There is a horrible monster in those swamps. Even if he did have a big sword it just isn't safe." The first woman wagged a scolding finger.

"The only way to safely cross now is to get a chocobo from Choco Bill's farm." The plump woman nodded and then lowered her voice considerably, only the SOLDIER enhancements allowed them to hear her. "Do you think they got the message? Or should we tell agents Molly and Kara to stage another conversation?"

"I think they got it," The brunette responded in an equally quiet voice, her eyes flicking to Zack's pensive expression. "You know, Kunsel wasn't kidding they _do_ make you want to take them home and feed them cookies."

Zack's jaw dropped and he dragged Cloud back towards the inn. Cloud shot a nod to the women along with a resigned smile, the red-haired woman laughed and waved.

"Those were the agents Kunsel was talking about!" Zack cried when he noticed Cloud's bemused laughter. "Why aren't you freaking out?"

"You heard them Zack, they just want to mother us," Cloud shrugged free from his friend's grip. "That scares me a lot less than the younger women who..." He grimaced and shook the thought from his mind.

"Right. But still, from what they said, they aren't even the only agents in town. Your cousin is scary Cloud." Zack breathed.

Cloud's PHS buzzed and he flipped it open. "_You avoided disaster,_" The message read. "_Let's keep it that way_."

"You have no idea Zack." Cloud shuddered.


	7. One does not simply walk

_Author's notes: It was a struggle, but I really wanted to get this chapter out on the two year anniversary of this fic. Granted, seven chapters over two years isn't amazing, but this fic was originally meant to be a string of humorous, unrelated one-shots... Then one of my reviewers sent a PM asking a bit about the role of the fanclubs and an actual storyline started forming. Thanks go out to everyone who has faved and alerted this story, but reviews will always be the favored child ^_^. Enjoy the chapter!_

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Chapter Seven: One does not simply walk...

The early morning mist shrouded the base of the Midgar Mountain range. The chill, damp air hung thick with the smell of stagnant water and rotting vegetation. Zack sucked in a deep lungful of air and wrinkled his nose. "Ugh, smells like swamp, we must be close!" He grinned and his eyes glittered with ill-concealed anticipation.

Tifa sidled up to Cloud and whispered, "I thought the information said to go to Chocobo Bill's. Why are we going to the swamp?"

Cloud slowly turned his head and Tifa gawked at the dark smudges under his faintly glowing blue eyes. He scrubbed a hand over his face and heaved a defeated sigh. "Zack _really_ wanted to go to the swamp first and spent half the night whining at me. In exchange for _some_ sleep, I agreed to let him try his luck against the 'monster'."

"You shoulda' got some earplugs like me." Barret boasted with a toothy grin.

"There's no point," Zack fell back and joined the conversation. "There's so much mako in our bodies that they dissolve." The un-enhanced members of the party froze, eyes wide. Barret surreptitiously edged away from the pair.

"Really?" Aerith's voice trembled on the word.

"No." Cloud rolled his eyes. "He's pulling your legs. If just touching us made things dissolve, how could we wear clothes?"

Barret grimaced and shook his head sharply. "Damn man that is a mental image I did NOT need!" Tifa and Aerith giggled, their cheeks slightly flushed. Zack waggled his eyebrows at them. Cloud chuckled, shaking his head as he took the lead.

"Our blood's a different story though," Zack piped up after they'd walked a bit farther. "If a SOLDIER wants a piercing, they have to use a special stud till the site heals or their body will dissolve it."

Tifa and Aerith shot him a narrow look, not quite willing to believe him. They looked at Cloud, and raised a single eyebrow each. Cloud scratched his jaw, eyes averted. "That one might be true. If nothing else, our skin is tougher and they need special needles for injections."

"Damn SOLDIERs are freaky enough with the glowy eyes and now acid blood?" Barret grumbled in the background.

They traveled in silence for a few minutes. Hissing, Tifa slapped a mosquito on her right thigh and grimaced at the smear of blood and insect parts left behind.

"I suppose _that_ is a benefit," Red said in an amused huff to Cloud. "You need not fear parasitic insects."

Cloud shot him an answering grin and shrugged. "That is true."

"Except there's this one bug, it looks like the green mosquito from hell. _They_ can suck our blood." Zack gave an exaggerated shudder. "I heard that this one guy—Wait a minute..." He frowned at the plains ahead and then he turned to see the mountains and haze of the swamp behind them. "Cloud..." He drawled, "We're going the wrong way."

The blond flinched and reluctantly turned to face his friend. Triumph shone in the former First-Class SOLDIER's violet eyes. "Hah! See guys, Cloud _doesn't_ have a perfect sense of direction!" Laughing jubilantly, he whirled back and headed for the swamp.

The blond heaved a weary sigh, shot the others an apologetic look, and whispered, "Sorry, I tried. I think the mountains gave it away." Aerith patted his shoulder before he hurried to catch up to Zack.

Setting a swift pace, the party soon reached the edge of the lake portion of the swamp. "The water's not even that deep!" Zack scoffed and peered across the haze-shrouded, greenish water. "It will take less time to cross than to find the chocobo farm and hike back."

"I don't know..." Aerith eyed the stagnant water. "The locals said there were nasty monsters in here and we need chocobos to cross."

"They were civilians, _Razorweed_ scares them. Their 'horrible monsters' are probably just a couple of Muu."

Cloud shot the man a flat look, and then pinched the bridge of his nose. "Muu are burrowers Zack, they would drown."

"Whatever," Zack huffed, gingerly stepping through the gray-black mud into murky water. Waist-deep in, he again peered through the fog wreathed distance. "It only looks like a mile or two. Come on guys."

In the distance, a large v-shaped ripple paused and turned towards the man. Cloud's eyes widened and he yelled, "Zack! Get out of there, there's something in the water!"

"It's just a fish-" Zack's reassurance cut off as the swamp exploded in front of him. A twenty-foot tall gray snake burst from the water with a thunderous hiss. Blinking stagnant water from his eyes, Zack gaped up at the cream-colored belly scales of a Midgar Zolom.

Mentally cursing the loss of his old materia, Zack charged up a fire spell and launched it at the serpent. The flame sizzled harmlessly on its snout and it spread its hood, baring fangs the length of his arm. Its forked tail rose from the water and swatted him towards the shore. With an almost petulant hiss, the enormous serpent sunk below the water and swam away.

"Zack!" Aerith shrieked as the man carved a deep furrow in the marshy soil. The raised mound stopped at her feet. Cloud and Tifa crouched at her side and scrambled to help her dig the stunned man free.

"Damn," Barret whistled, eying the ten-foot long trench. Trickles of water seeped from below, filling the bottom. He turned to Red XIII, "What do you figure for _that_ one?"

"Distance and artistry aren't too bad." The leonine mused. "Rather destructive though, and he loses points for getting stuck. I give it a 6 and a half."

Cloud heaved his friend from the mud by his sword harness. Zack gagged, spitting out several mouthfuls of mud. When he finally cleared the mud from his eyes and nose, he muttered, "Man I'm glad I'm not an earthworm." He coughed again and asked louder, "So about that chocobo farm..." He staggered under the weight of the muck coating him from head to toe, but didn't complain when Cloud led them away from the swampy lake.

* * *

After some time slogging through the moist soil on the edges of the marshland, spindly willows cloaked with streamers of hanging moss gave way to scattered shrubs and tall grass. Cloud paused on the border between the areas and shaded his eyes from the late morning sunlight. At his side, Tifa scratched at a drying patch of mud on her knee. The rushing sound of wind through the grass and the faint clicks of grasshoppers petered off into the distance. The green expanse stretched before them like a viridian ocean.

"How will we find a chocobo farm in all of this?" Tifa whispered in awe.

Cloud's eyes locked on a distant point. After committing it to memory, he looked down at her and shook his head. "It shouldn't be too hard, I asked around town while Zack and Aerith picked up supplies last night." He raised his voice for the others to hear. "There is a source of water that way. We'll take a break there before heading to the ranch."

An appreciative murmur rose from most of the group. The best of them had mud to their knees. The worst...

"Awww," Zack mock-whined, his teeth gleaming a sharp contrast to the dark mud coating his whole body and weighing down his spiky locks. "You mean I gotta wash off my beauty treatment?"

Aerith giggled and Barret rolled his eyes. "Beauty treatment eh? If it didn't stink so much, I'd say keep it on. You need all the help you can get." The exaggerated way Barret stroked his chin and grinned dulled the sting of the remark.

"Just wait," Zack sniffed, turning his nose to the air. "You'll be jealous of my soft, vibrant skin." He struck a few over-emphasized poses. A fine dusting of dried mud crumbled and fell off with each movement.

Amid her giggles, Tifa choked, "I think you're right, Cloud. He needs some moisturizer."

Still smiling, Cloud led the party through the shoulder-high grass to the depression he noted earlier. Slowed slightly by a few groups of well-disguised Mandragora they reached a trickle of water barely a foot wide and not even that deep. Once they filled their canteens and drank their fill, Tifa, Barret, and Aerith waded in to wash the mud off their legs. While Red dealt with the issue in his own way, Cloud sidled up to Zack. "Sorry it isn't deep enough Zack. There's probably a deeper pool further downstream." The corner of the blond's mouth twitched down at the fatigue dimming the violet of Zack's eyes.

"Hey, none of that!" Zack scolded the blond when he caught the look. "Like you said, there's probably a deeper pool further on. In the meantime, I'm fine! Go wash up."

Cloud shook his head and slipped into a more balanced stance to wait for the others. "If you can't wash off, I won't either."

"Stubborn idiot," Zack muttered with an affectionate grin.

"I learned from the best," he shot back, eyes sparkling.

Zack laughed loudly and threw himself backwards. The stiff grass slowed his descent and formed a pungent, if slightly scratchy mattress.

Shaking his head fondly, Cloud reached into his bag and inspected some of the items he found in Midgar and Kalm. He rolled a magenta materia in his palm and then raised it to the sky and peered through it. He'd never seen a materia like it, but whatever it was, it was very young.

"What's that?" Barret asked, pointing at the pinkish orb in the blond's hand.

"A strange materia I found near Aerith's house. I'm not sure what it does, the only thing I'm getting from it is 'cover.' I was thinking of giving you my ice and equipping it to see what it does."

Barret's brows lowered and he scowled down at Cloud. "Oh sure, _you_ get another fancy materia. Ya' gave Tifa the Steal materia. Zack's got the Poison and Elemental and Red even got a Sense materia-"

Cloud's eyes widened and he interrupted, "To be fair, Red had that materia when we met him." Sensing this didn't calm the man; he shook his head and proffered the small orb. "My instincts tell me this isn't the right materia for you, but if you feel that strongly about it, take it."

Barret snatched the materia and slotted it into the Atomic Scissors Tifa stole from a monster in the Midgar Wasteland. Taking a calming breath and scratching the back of his head, Cloud turned to address the others. A small smile twitched at the corner of his mouth. Zack snored incredibly loud but Cloud caught a faint gleam from his slightly open eyes. Aerith, Tifa, and Red XIII didn't even look at the pair. They were trying so hard to look like they weren't eavesdropping he might as well pretend he fell for it.

He cleared his throat and all eyes locked on him, even the "sleeping" Zack. "Okay guys, we're going a little further downstream so Zack can wash off."

Before they took more than a few steps, loud crashing sounded behind them and three Elfadunks emerged from the tall grass. The blue, elephantine creatures rolled their yellow eyes wildly and stamped their feet. The middle beast trumpeted a challenge and struck Zack with its Shower attack. Cloud leaped across the small stream and struck down the beast closest to him. Tifa unleashed a rapid combo of kicks and punches dazing the middle creature and giving Red an opportunity to go after its exposed throat. Aerith's foot slipped on an unbalanced stone just as she charged the final Elfadunk. It lowered its trunk and she cringed, shielding her head.

Barret bellowed and appeared in front of the fallen Ancient, taking the Shower attack full on. Finally recovered from the shock of the rear attack, Zack darted past Barret and killed the final beast.

"Wow Barret, thanks for saving me," Aerith climbed to her feet and brushed the dirt off her dress. "How did you get here so fast?"

Barret scowled, swiping some of the water from his face and stomped away muttering, "Can't save anyone."

Frowning at the odd remark, Cloud turned to his freshly washed friend. Zack slowly sheathed his blade while he stood over the slain monster. Once it vanished into the Lifestream, he burst into tears.

"Zack, what's wrong?" Cloud asked, resting his free hand on the man's shaking shoulder.

A despairing wail burst from his throat. "I'm sorry Aerith, I wasn't paying attention and you almost got hurt! I'm a _failure_!" He wept, falling to his knees and extending his palms to the cloudless sky. Aerith rushed Zack's side, whispering in his ear as he bawled into her bosom.

"-Should all weep. We don' stand a chance 'gainst Shinra. Piss 'em off and they'll take _everythin_'," Barret muttered darkly from the edge of the small clearing. Cloud's eyes widened and then narrowed.

He stroked his Sense materia and then gave a small laugh, shoulders relaxing. "Sadness. That attack cast Sadness on them. It doesn't harm them so we should just press on... er... I guess we don't need water anymore so we'll just head for the chocobo farm."

"My beauty mud!" Zack lamented, but stood and kept pace with the rest of the party. His sniffles and low whimpers rose and fell in intensity.

Aerith stepped to Cloud's side and whispered, "I'm glad you figured out what was wrong. I was a little worried there. I've seen him sad but never in such a drama queen way-"

"I'm a drama queen!" The status-inflicted SOLDIER sobbed.

Aerith winced and hissed, "Oops, forgot about your hearing."

Cloud shook his head biting his lower lip. If he didn't know it would set the man off again, he'd be laughing his head off. Judging from how Red kept snorting and Tifa clenched her teeth around one of her fingers he wasn't the only one. A quavering wail echoed Zack's cries and a pair of Levrikon and another Elfadunk attacked.

Dreading any more of them falling under the Sadness status condition, Tifa and Red went for the Elfadunk. One of the Levrikon shook its red-crested head and pecked Aerith several times before Cloud struck it down. The second large bird raised its sharp bill over the oblivious Zack. Barret appeared with a cry and suffered the attack instead.

A brown and pink blur launched at the long necked avian with a hiss. Aerith struck its head with her staff with a sound much like a baseball striking an aluminum bat. She triggered her Enemy Skill's Matra Magic on the follow-through and laughed as the explosions tore the monster apart.

Barret's eyes widened comically and he backed away from the cackling young woman. He crept to the gaping blond's side and in his normal tone of voice asked, "What happened to _her_?"

She triggered the attack again. "Burn! Burn!" She cackled and danced at the edges of the fire.

Already checking with his Sense materia, Cloud sighed. "Fury, she has Fury cast on her and I guess it canceled your Sadness."

"Sadness? I ain-" Barret choked off, look of horror filling his eyes as he remembered how he acted after the last attack.

Leaving the man to his thoughts Cloud helped Zack to his feet and breathed in a low whisper, "Zack, did you pick up any tranquilizers in Kalm?"

"No," Zack answered in a choked voice. "You don't get motion sickness anymore so I didn't get any. (sob) I can't do anything right. Because of me Aerith's like this!" The explosions cut off and angry green eyes locked on Cloud. He backed away from the morose man; palms raised and let the furious woman sling a possessive arm around Zack's waist.

"Let's keep moving." Cloud suggested, mentally insisting that no, his voice wasn't higher pitched than normal, thank you very much. He jogged to the front.

Multiple ambushes slowed their progress. Barret suffered status effects ranging from fury to sadness when he randomly leaped in front of a Levrikon's Flaming Peck or an Elfadunk's Shower attack. Through some cursed irony, Zack and Aerith never suffered another status inflicting attack.

What seemed like dozens of battles later, Aerith cried in triumph and released a new limit break. Ice blue ribbons of light circled the whole party and red motes of light shimmered as they fell. Finishing off the nearest monster, Zack looked up with reddened but clear eyes. Horror crept across his features.

"What just—I...I can't believe I acted like that!" He shook his head and slapped his cheeks, yet failed to cover the flush of humiliation creeping up his neck.

"Don't feel too bad Zack, the status effects robbed _most_ of us of our sensibilities," Red XIII jerked his head at Cloud. The only visible difference the blond showed was a change in the speed of his attacks and tight-lipped silence. Cloud pretended he didn't notice the accusatory look and flexed his stiff fingers behind his back. It took all his will power not to join the sobbing or insanity when he fell under the effects of Sadness or Fury.

"That was kind of fun," Aerith giggled, brushing her dress down and patting her hair into place.

Tifa shook off the shock of her sudden mental clarity and fell to her knees laughing. "You did it Aerith!"

"Huh?"

"You told Zack you'd make an 'Esuna-type limit break' and you did!"

"Oh yeah..." Aerith joined in the laughter, followed by Zack.

Barret marched to Cloud's side, popped the Cover materia out of his weapon. He extended it to the young man and said, "I changed my mind, gimme the Ice." Without a word, Cloud traded materia.

* * *

Hours later, Cloud looked around and let off a relieved sigh. "We're almost there." He pointed to the ordered rows of chocobo greens and a small grove of nut trees. Zack gave a weak cheer.

Noting the lowering sun, Cloud shook his head. "We probably won't be able to get a chocobo until morning. We'll be charged for food and board but after today, I think we'll all take comfort in home cooked food and not sleeping in a tent."

"A shower would be nice too," Aerith piped up and then cut Zack off. "A shower that _didn't_ come from a monster that is."

"You know me too well." Zack grinned at her smile of fond exasperation.

"When it's time to bargain for chocobos tomorrow, you're in charge Zack." Cloud said.

"Why me? Since you're the leader, shouldn't you do it?"

Cloud looked down, a crooked smile of chagrin on his face. "I could, but your charisma is much higher than mine. Kunsel once joked that you could talk Leviathan into joining Shinra, so..."

Zack beamed under the praise. "Alright Cloud, you can count on me!"

"I know I can, Zack." Cloud clapped a hand on his friend's shoulder. "I always have."

True to Cloud's predictions, Choco Bill's wife took one look at the ragged band and sent them for food, baths, and then bed. The poor woman didn't understand why Barret started banging his head on the wall after she asked Zack what kind of soap he used to get such vibrant skin.

* * *

The next morning dawned cool with a faint haze of mist. Cloud stood behind Tifa watching her coo over one of the chocobo in the corral. It preened over her attention, but often stretched its neck toward her blond companion. "Come on Cloud, he wants you to pet him," Tifa insisted.

"She," Cloud corrected, refusing to come closer, "and I'd rather not. Chocobo act... weird around me."

While Tifa continued her quest to get Cloud to pet the oversized avian, Zack approached Choco Bill on the other side of the corral. "Taking care of chocobo must be hard work."

"Eyup." The old man agreed, scratching his spiky gray beard.

"You must be afraid of them running away after you catch them, right?"

"Naw," The foxtail in his mouth bobbed as he spoke. "Give a chocobo a stall and food and you'll have to chase it away." He gave a rusty laugh.

"Wow, great!" Zack grinned, "So how much do you charge for a day rental?"

"Sorry, don't got any chocobos." He said perfectly serious.

Across the corral, Tifa dragged Cloud close to one of the chocobo. As if to prove his point, the birds suddenly started dancing. When they finished, the closest one warked and something flew from its mouth, striking him in the chest with enough force to knock him over.

Zack blinked and shook his head. '_I did _not_ just see chocobos dancing._' He told himself and turned back to the old man.

"You don't have any chocobos?" Zack asked, voice heavy with disbelief. From the corner of his eye he watched the disgusted blond climb to his feet, shake his head with a look of resignation, and then pocket a red materia.

"Nope. Ain't got no chocobos left. You wanna find a chocobo, talk to my grandson Billy in the barn." Giving another rusty laugh, the man shuffled off.

"Don't mind grandpa," a young boy said, launching himself onto the corral's wood supports. He straightened his feathered hat and grinned up at Zack. "We can't rent those chocobo because they aren't ours. We're only watching them for someone. If you wanna catch your own chocobo, I can help you out old man."

"Old-" Zack choked off, his left eye twitching. "Enlighten me kid."

Smirking, Billy pulled out a pinkish materia and some vegetables. "This Chocobo Lure materia will help you find a wild chocobo, while these greens will keep it occupied so you can kill the monsters it runs with. Kill the monsters fast enough and you've got a chocobo."

"Seems simple enough," Zack nodded.

"The materia is 2,000 gil and the greens-"

"Just give me the greens," Zack broke in. "We don't need the materia."

"Wha? But you'll never attract a chocobo without it!" The boy protested, nearly falling off his perch.

"Nah," Zack waved a hand. "We can call chocobos without a materia."

"This I've got to see," Billy drawled. "In fact, if you can attract one chocobo without the materia, I'll give you the greens free."

"Deal." Zack extended his hand and they shook. "Bring the greens and leave the materia here so you can't say we cheated."

Perched on his personal chocobo, Billy led them to an area of trampled grass marked with chocobo prints. He tossed a sack of radish shaped vegetables to Zack and said, "Alright big shot, impress me."

Grinning, Zack put the greens into Cloud's hands. "Say 'wark' Cloud."

Eyes widening Cloud whirled on the tall man. "Zack! You didn't say anything about-"

"Trust me Cloud," he whispered in a soothing tone of voice. "Do it just once, and if nothing happens I'll... I'll owe you a favor for the embarrassment."

"Too late." Cloud folded his arms and glared up into Zack's pleading violet eyes.

"Alright, alright. I'll owe you _two_ favors if you do this."

"And you won't make me do it again?" Cloud added in a leading tone.

"And I won't make you do it again," Zack echoed, rolling his eyes. "Now will you say it already?"

Glowering at the man and Billy's wide grin, Cloud whirled to face the tall grass. In a flat, toneless voice he said, "Wark."

"You call that a chocobo call?" Billy hooted and slapped his thigh. "That's the most pathetic—whoa! Lightning? What are you-?" His chocobo warked, and ignoring the boy's tugging on the reins approached the blond. Billy's jaw dropped.

Answering warks sounded from all around and a large flock of chocobo emerged from the tall grass. Utterly ignoring the greens in Cloud's extended hands, the large birds fawned over Cloud like a favored chick. Lightining and two others groomed Cloud's hair and clothes while he stood stiff in obvious discomfort.

Zack smirked up at the gaping boy. "See? Now if we want to breed chocobos, we'll take you up on the materia."

Shaking out of his stupor, the boy laughed. "I can see that. Hey, you think your friend might be interested in a job?"

A pair of angry, electric-blue eyes locked on the boy, freezing him in place. "Eeep, good luck on your adventure, keep the greens!" The kid forced his chocobo to whirl away and run back to the farm.

With a small application of greens for some of the chocobo, the party mounted with varying degrees of success. Zack stroked his chocobo as he waited for the others. "This will make travel to the marshes so much easier. Why were there so many monsters in these fields anyway?"

"Didn't you pay attention in training Zack?" Cloud asked, patting Tifa's chocobo after helping her and smoothly vaulting onto his own. "Monsters always hide in the tall grass."


	8. Treasure Senses

**A/N:** Many times I've had a story I follow updated due to the author wanting to post a chapter for their birthday. I thought it was a fun idea and always wanted to try it so here it is. I hope you enjoy the chapter!

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Chapter Eight: Treasure Senses

On the far side of the swamp, thick grey clouds swallowed the mountain tops and thunder rumbled close enough to make ground tremble."I ain't doin' that again," Barret moaned as he fell off his chocobo. "If we gotta go back, I'm climbin' the cliffs." He shuddered, eying the mass of wakes that followed the party across the swampy lake.

"I second that," Red agreed, his legs still quivering from the awkward trip on an equally distressed avian's back. Cloud and Zack exchanged smirks as they helped Tifa and Aerith respectively dismount.

"I thought it was kind of fun," Tifa giggled. Aerith nodded and stroked her mount's crest a few times before sending it off. Cloud pushed his overly friendly mount away from his head. Ducking around his hand, the bird resumed preening his hair.

A blinding flash of lightning and explosive peal of thunder rattled a few loose stones from the walls of the narrowing canyon. The strike couldn't have been more than a hundred yards away. Cloud's chocobo gave a distressed wark and fled across the marsh. Cloud and Zack rubbed their ears grimacing while Barret and Aerith blinked their dazzled eyes.

"We'd better get moving," Cloud said, his voice sounding distant in his ears. "There should be some shelter near the mine entrance." He walked around twist in the canyon and froze. The smell of cooked meat and smoke clogged the air. Despite the charring from the lightning strike, clearly visible sword gashes marked the Midgar Zolom impaled on the dead tree.

"Sephiroth," Zack breathed, recognizing Masamune's work. "But why would he...?" He waved vaguely at the garish display.

"He knows we're following him," Red XIII answered grimly.

"What makes you say that?" Aerith asked, tearing her horrified gaze from the slain monster.

"He's posturing." The leonine scratched behind his left ear with a hind foot. "When a predator knows it is being pursued, it may leave a mangled kill behind to say '_I'm not only powerful enough to kill this, but confident enough that I can support myself even leaving it behind._' I'm sure Cloud could tell you the other meaning, correct?" He flicked his flaming tail and looked up.

Cloud nodded, lips drawn into a frown. "Yeah, the wolves in the Nibel mountains left something similar for one of the hunting parties. It means '_Come and get me, I'll do the same to you_.'"

Dread silence fell, broken by the loud grumbling of Zack's stomach. Before he could redden too much, a few other stomachs took up the chorus.

Zack's eyes fell on the partially cooked Zolom. "I wonder how Zolom tastes..." He sawed off a chunk of the cooked meat and speared it on his pocket knife. He eyed it critically and gave it a delicate sniff.

"Eating the kill can mean '_Go ahead and try_.'" Red barked with a laugh.

"Zack you're not _really_ going to-" Aerith choked off as Zack popped the piece in his mouth and chewed thoughtfully.

"Hm, not bad," he hummed and sliced off another piece. "You guys should try it."

Cloud shook his head. Though his memories from before his mako poisoning were a little blurry at times, he still remembered Zack's nickname. Apparently the designation of "puppy" covered his appetite as well as his general attitude. He jolted out of his thoughts when a pale slice of meat was thrust under his nose.

"Try it Cloud, it tastes kind of like chicken."

Cloud looked up from the meat to search Zack's expression. It wouldn't be the first time Zack had recommended something not fit for human consumption. Noting the lack of mischief in his friend's eyes, he sighed and plucked the chunk off the knife. All too aware of every eye in the group on him; he bit off a piece, chewed, and then swallowed. Cloud's eyes widened and he gasped. Clutching his throat and giving a pained gurgle, he fell to his knees, shoulders shaking.

"Cloud!" Tifa and Aerith shrieked in horror.

"Tifa, use your Poisona spell!" Barret barked while he dug in his pouch for an antidote if it wasn't enough. Zack waved his hands frantically over the spasming blond.

Cloud's shoulders shook even worse before he threw his head back and laughed. For a few moments, the only sounds were the young man's ringing laughter and the nearby rumble of thunder.

"Dammit Cloud." Zack thrust his hands into the blond's spiky hair and scrambled it into disarray. "Don't scare us like that!"

Cloud squawked in protest and pushed Zack's hands away. Tears of mirth rand down his flushed cheeks. "I couldn't help it," he snickered. "You left yourselves open for it by staring at me like that. After all, if it didn't hurt Zack, why would it hurt me?"

He popped the rest of the piece in his mouth. "Zack's right though, it is pretty good. With a few of the vegetables Red and Aerith found it will make a nice meal."

Cloud stiffened, his senses warning of danger. Tifa and Aerith exchanged dark looks and Barret ground his teeth in anger. Zack's expression swung between humor and a scowl. Red XIII hadn't sensed true distress from the blond's antics and thus watched the proceedings with interest.

"I think Cloud needs a dose of beauty mud, don't you Aerith?" Tifa said in a light, off-hand tone.

"I do believe you're right," Aerith agreed in a similar tone. "Gentlemen?"

Grinning, they rushed the party leader. Zack took his arms and Barret his legs while the blond shouted in protest. Cloud's limbs flailed as the pair heaved him into a shallow pool on the edges of the swamp. The ladies laughed and Barret only half-begrudgingly shared a high-five with Zack.

Moments later, oozing tired resignation, Cloud climbed out of the puddle and scraped the mud away from his face. "Ha ha," he said flatly. Without changing expression, he scooped up two handfuls of mud and simultaneously pegged his assailants in the face.

"Not again," Zack moaned as Barret spluttered on the mouthful.

Cloud walked past them whistling a cheerful tune and drawing his Hardedge. He hacked four feet off the end of the roasted Zolom's tail and heaved it onto his shoulder. "Come on, if we hurry, we might reach the mines before it rains."

"Damn it Cloud, couldn't you have waited 'til my mouth was closed?" Griped Barret as he bent to shoulder the other end of the tail.

Cloud ran his left hand down his side and raised the handful of mud without turning around. "I have more mud, do you want me to try again?"

"Pass," Barret chuckled.

The unburdened party members watched for monsters as they made their way up the cracked and overgrown road to the abandoned mine. Judging by the state of erosion, the mine had been abandoned longer than the nostalgic people of Kalm claimed. Thunder growled across the sky and echoed through the narrowing mountain pass. Aerith squeaked each time and covered her ears. There was something raw and frightening in being so close to the heavens when they raged. The Ancient shivered at the electric tingle of the too-close-for-comfort storm. A strong, damp, blast of wind tugged at their clothing. Red XIII raised his head and sniffed the air. "Rain is coming."

Cloud's eyes widened and he shoved his end of the Zolom tail into Zack's arms. He crouched down and dug deep into his pack.

"Cloud, what are-?" Zack cried, fumbling with the sudden burden. He choked off when the sound of ripping fabric filled the air. Leaving his pack, the blond strode to Tifa and swung a yard of shimmering purple silk over her shoulders. The barmaid only had time to look up in confusion before the heavens opened and soaked them all.

Tifa blinked, and then the confusion in her eyes turned to comprehension just before Aerith squealed, "Oh Cloud you're so chivalrous!"

"Thanks Cloud," She said softly, fully aware of what the soaking was doing to her white half-shirt. She wrapped the make-shift shawl tighter around her shoulders. Her gaze softened as the blond nodded once, and turned to retrieve his possessions.

"Let's head over there," Aerith insisted, tugging the other girl to a small overhang against the canyon wall. Cloud nodded in approval and scrubbed his fingers through his mud clotted hair. In the heavy downpour, dirt ran down his sides in rapidly clearing streams.

"I don't get it," Zack frowned huddled with the others, his eyes tracking from the blond taking a shower in the rain to the lightly blushing barmaid.

Barret rolled his eyes. "Damn man, didn' SOLDIER have some sorta' intelligence test? Rain'll make her white shirt see-through."

Zack scowled. "Not that! That part is obvious. What I don't get is why Cloud had something like _that_ in his bag." He flipped a hand at the purple silk. The soaked, but now mud-free young man stiffened. Due to his position, only Aerith and Tifa could see the desperation in his luminescent blue eyes.

"It's alright Cloud, I'm not mad." Tifa called in a soothing voice. "Now that I see it against my skin, I realize Aerith was right. Purple isn't my color after all."

"Oh." Zack nodded slowly, his shoulder's slumping slightly at the spoiled chance to tease his friend. "I guess that makes sense, sort of..."

Before Zack could ponder further, Cloud took the meat from his lax grip. Sending Tifa a silent nod of gratitude, he said, "We'd better hurry before the storm gets worse."

* * *

A small cluster of mouldering cabins huddled at the base of the mountain. While Zack and Aerith searched the buildings for one with a sound roof, Barret turned to the blond. "Why are we lookin' for a place to stay? It ain't night yet."

"I know," Cloud answered in a low voice. "But we're soaking wet and it's usually pretty cold underground." He shot a pointed look down to Tifa. She crouched in a miserable ball between him and Red.

Barret nodded slowly. "No good rushin' if you're gonna get sick. Guess I can handle that."

"It isn't just that though, I'd rather camp here than inside the mine. This way we'll have a good chance of getting out with time to find shelter on the other side of the mountain."

The large man gave a wordless hum of approval before turning at the search party's return.

Zack grimaced and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly."Well, it isn't five-star material, but it's dry."

Cloud nodded and flicked his eyes down to the shivering martial artist. Zack took the hint and relieved the blond of his end of the meat. He snickered, "Never thought I'd play 'hot potato' with a Zolom tail in the rain." Laughing, he led the way to the cabin. Aerith hung back, eyes worried.

"Let's get you somewhere dry," Cloud murmured to Tifa and scooped her into his arms.

Her squeak of protest cut off with a moan. "Warm..." She snuggled deeper against his chest, looking as if she'd crawl inside of him if she could figure out how. Grinning in approval, Aerith skipped back to Zack's side.

Thankfully, the cabin wasn't far, as the cold, stinging rain caused even the normally calm Red XIII to flick his flaming tail in irritation. "There it is," Zack said, pointing to one of the outbuildings at the base of the mountain.

Barret took one look at the cabin's sway-back roof and snorted. "Never thought I'd stay in a worse dump than Midgar's underbelly. Why the hell aren't we using a Tent?"

"We don't need to use a tent," Zack shook his head and folded his arms.

"We're going to have to use a Tent at some point," Barret reasoned. "Why not right now."

"For one thing," Zack raised a finger. "They're expensive, each Tent costs 500 gil. For another, why should we waste a Tent when we have a perfectly fine-" He stopped, eyes tracking from Barret's skeptical look to the mouldering cabin. "When we have a roof to cover us from the elements?"

"We could use just one Tent," Barret offered.

"True," Cloud spoke up. "But Tents are designed for three people."

"Think of it this way," Aerith said pleasantly as she lifted the door on its rotting hinges with a slight grunt and pulled it open. "It is the spacious yet..." She struggled for a word. "Yet run down cabin, or we can all squish into a Tent. Everyone would need a sleeping buddy though. I call Zack!" She clutched her boyfriend's free arm with a cheeky grin.

Tifa's arms tightened around Cloud's neck. "I think Cloud and Tifa are set too." Zack chuckled. "So if you and Red don't mind getting nice and cozy, I _guess_ we could use a Tent."

The gunman and feline exchanged a look and shook their heads. "No offense Red, but no thanks. Let's get inside before I start rustin'."

While the girls went to the other "room" to wring out their clothing, the men stripped down and wrung their clothes out the massive hole in the south wall. The girl's small "room" had even less of its walls intact and its only measure of privacy was that passing wildlife wouldn't care about human anatomy. The girls came back to find Zack coaxing a fire in the hearth and Barret scrubbing his Atomic Scissors with an oiled cloth.

"What do you think, guys?" Cloud asked as he started cutting the partially-cooked meat on the wobbly remnants of a table. "Should we roast the meat or make a stew?" He paused and frowned, looking around. The leaf-strewn floor was free of anything resembling cookware.

Reading his consternation, Zack stepped away from the growing fire and said, "Aerith and I bought cooking supplies in Kalm. We put them in your pack."

Tifa took Cloud's place while Aerith sorted through the vegetables they'd gathered along the way.

Cloud looked from the small pack to Zack and frowned in disbelief. "He isn't lying Cloud." Aerith chirped as she skillfully peeled a lumpy brown tuber. Dubious expression firmly on his face, the blond crouched on the floor and reached into the bag.

When Cloud's arm went in past his elbow, Barret shook his head. When Cloud's arm went in to his shoulder, the oil rag slipped from his limp fingers. "What tha' f-" he muttered in a hoarse voice. "That ain' natural..."

Finally, with a cry of victory, Cloud pulled a large iron pot from his bag and set it on the stone floor. He paused, eyes flicking from the bag that was obviously _smaller_ than the pot, to the pot, and finally to the Zolom tail Tifa was carving into square chunks.

Groaning, he lightly bounced his forehead on the side of the pot. "Stupid. Stupid. Stupid," he muttered in a low mantra.

Zack chuckled, "Finally realized eh?"

Scowling, Cloud stopped hitting his head and growled at the former SOLDIER first. "You could have said something sooner."

"Sorry Cloud, but the lesson sticks better this way. If it makes you feel any better, every SOLDIER forgets it at least once." Zack clapped the kneeling blond on the shoulder and took the pot to the fire. He snickered at Barret's wide eyed stare. "How about you and Barret go look for some more wood for the fire. You can explain your bottomless bag on the way. I'll join you in a minute."

As soon as the door closed behind the pair, Red XIII snorted and said, "It looks like you won the bet-"

Zack pumped his fist. "Aw yeah!"

"Too bad we didn't set a prize," Red continued.

Zack's cheer of elation died in his throat and he frowned a moment before brightening. "How about you stop 'rating' every time I fall?"

The feline shook his head and rumbled, "That is part of my nature, and to promise to curb it would be a lie. I _can_ promise I will not record the numbers."

Zack folded his arms, frowned, and looked down. "Hm, I guess that will have to do. I'm going to help the others." He looked from the cabin's closed door, to the hole in the wall, shrugged, and walked out through the hole.

Tifa dropped a handful of meat chunks in the pot. "Is it really part of your culture to judge when people fall?"

"No. It is part of my _nature_, not my culture. Capricious nature that is." He barked a laugh.

Aerith giggled and looked up from dicing the vegetables and plants. "Let me guess, _you_ won't record the numbers, Barret will."

The feline affected an innocent tone. "In my defense, he always recorded them. My paws aren't built for writing after all."

"Poor Zack," Tifa chuckled. "He didn't really win anything."

True to Cloud's prediction, the Zolom made a very good stew. After the cold and wet, the hot meal cast a lethargy over the party. They drew straws to decide the night watch, and then bedded down for the night. The steady sound of rain and the fading roar of thunder lulled them to sleep.

* * *

Cloud admitted silently that the defunct cabin had its benefits. Since most of one wall was gone, they could keep watch while staying out of the rain. He shifted lightly on his perch and stared out into the darkness. The mid watch was one of the quietest times, and while it meant interrupted sleep, his mako enhancements kept it from affecting him too much. After so many hours, the soft patter of rain had long faded into scattered drops falling from rooftops. Through his view in the wall he'd watched the storm-reddened clouds lose their color and shred like old silk.

He gazed up at the patchy expanse of stars and the corner of his mouth twitched as he remembered a night seven years ago under the stars in Nibelheim. As if summoned by the memory, he heard Tifa's distinctive stride behind him. Despite obvious slowing from drowsiness, she still walked with perfect balance. Before he could look up at her, she sat down beside him, a blanket wrapped tightly around her shoulders.

A few moments passed in silence. "I know what you and Zack did," she said quietly.

"Oh?" Cloud flicked his eyes down at her and then back outside. "What do you mean?"

"I know you, Zack, and Barret cheated so Aerith and I didn't even have a chance of taking a turn at watch." Tifa's voice was level despite the accusation.

Some distant frogs took up a chorus amid the patter of run-off water. "Are you angry?" Cloud asked.

Tifa huffed and pouted. "I _should_ be but..." He saw her fists tighten under her blanket. "But I know I've let myself get lazy. I don't have the necessary stamina and Aerith is worse off than I am."

Cloud listened, watching the frustration mingled with gratitude flash across her face.

"What I mean is, as soon as I can stay awake for one of the night watches, I expect you to let me do my part." One slender hand emerged from her blanket and she poked him in the center of his chest. "Is that clear Mr. Strife?"

He chuckled and replied, "As you wish, Miss Lockhart."

"Good." She pulled her finger away and poked his right bicep "Now, arm up."

Cloud blinked and lifted his hand at the elbow.

"Higher," Tifa ordered. "All the way up." He shrugged and raised his arm like an enthusiastic student.

"Perfect." Tifa chirped and scooted on her bottom until she leaned against his side. Keeping her blanket around most of her body, she reached up, and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Mmm, much better." She moaned. Cloud gaped down at her, then at his arm as if it belonged to a stranger. Shaking his head once, he returned his attention to the surroundings. Distant crickets hummed counterpoint to the frogs.

The last of the clouds had blew away and the night air took on a distinct chill. Cloud blew out slowly and watched the wispy condensation drift and fade away. As far back as he could remember, he secretly enjoyed watching his breath on cold days. More than once he tried desperately to make a smoke ring. He smiled faintly at the memory. Tifa shivered and he unconsciously pulled her closer.

"Hey Cloud," Tifa's voice was drowsy. "You never did tell me what you were going to do with that dress."

Blinking at the odd question, he shook his head with a small smile. "Well, remember how I thought Alfonse was a deity Zack started worshiping?"

Tifa giggled at the memory, and nodded.

"Well, before I knew Alfonse was a Transform materia and not a god, I was planning on sending him the dress as a burnt offering." He responded with a crooked smile.

Tifa squeaked with laughter before burying her face against his side to muffle it. When she finally calmed down, she pulled back slightly, and wiped her eyes with a bit of her blanket. "What kind of offering is a man's dress?" She asked in a tone of suppressed hilarity.

Cloud shrugged, "Any deity Zack would worship would probably appreciate it."

Tifa's giggle of agreement cut off with a yawn. "How much longer is your watch?"

Cloud flipped open his PHS and checked the time. "About two hours."

"Is it alright if I stay and leech your warmth?" She peered up at his mako-bright blue eyes, her expression pleading. When Cloud nodded, she gave him a wide smile and snuggled close.

* * *

Cradled in the arms of the mountain, only the brightening of the sky hinted at the rising sun. The heavy humidity and thick morning mist gave the morning a suffocating stillness. The hushed atmosphere dampened even Zack's enthusiasm and they traveled to the mine entrance in near silence.

The rusting iron gate that once blocked the mine shaft hung from its bottom hinge. The bars were twisted and broken. The fact that the bars were obviously broken from the inside was not lost on any of them. Above the faint roar of air at the mine entrance, came a distant monster's cry.

"You know, if we didn't have other things to worry about, I'd be tempted to hunt down a little more information about his mine." Zack mused, nudging the gate with his boot. So far, little of the information they gleaned in Kalm matched the truth other than the mine's location and the need for chocobo.

Cloud nodded and shot Zack a grin. "Maybe after things settle down." He turned to Tifa and said, "Tifa, there are some monsters called Madouge in here. They're tall, vaguely humanoid and fleshy pink with a sort of wrecking ball weapon. When we meet one, I want you to use your Steal materia instead of attacking."

"Okay Cloud." She grinned, buffing the yellow orb in her glove against her shirt. The Steal attack was actually kind of fun. "So am I stealing a weapon or an item this time?"

"You'll know it when you find it." Cloud grinned and stepped into the mine.

As soon as his eyes adjusted to the materia-toned luminescence, Barret swore and shook his head. "They call this a _mine_? Damn fools musta' been smokin' cave moss when they dug!"

The others couldn't help but agree. If a drunk man could make a three dimensional path, it might resemble the weaving and dipping course of the tunnel. Despite the dizzying paths branching off and snaking into the depths of the mountain, the blond led the group as though there was only one tunnel in the mine. Several hours in and many monster encounters later, Cloud paused, head swinging from a path on his left to a path on his right.

"We aren't lost are we?" Aerith asked, a faint quaver of fear in her voice.

"I knew I shoulda' bought a ball of string in Kalm." Barret muttered to Red XIII. Red shot the man an amused look.

"Oh, come on," Zack laughed. "We aren't lost!...are we?"

"No," Cloud shook his head and pointed to the path on his right. "That's the way out, but there are a few things down there I want to pick up." Cloud pointed to his left and started down the uneven trail.

"What do you mean, 'things to pick up'?" Zack scowled. "Is this _another_ thing you learned as an infantryman? And how did you know about those enemy skills and weapons?" He grimaced, recalling "Flamethrower" Aerith's new favorite attack.

Cloud shrugged without turning but stopped as he entered the next room. He paused by some fossilized roots in a widening part of the cave and then scrambled up them.

"I'm going to trust his instincts," Tifa told Zack, flexing her fingers in the maroon leather of her newly "acquired" Grand Gloves. "He hasn't been wrong yet."

Cloud scrambled back down and waved a purplish materia with a small smile. Zack gaped at the young man.

Not missing a beat, the blond followed the natural bridge into the next room. The bridge led into a vast vertical crevice in the mountain. Bluish light diffused from above, lighting the room as if it were outside. Cloud scrambled up the naturally formed steps and scooped an Ether off the ground.

Zack spluttered in shock and then gaped at the treasure chest sitting in a pool of sunlight at the top of the stairs. "You have _got_ to be kidding me." He shook his head in disbelief as Cloud pocketed the Ether and the Tent from the chest.

Cloud tilted his head in confusion at Zack's dumbfounded expression and then led the party back to the path he claimed led outside. After pausing to pull a Mind Source from a chest tucked into a random dead-end Zack turned to Barret. "Did _you_ think there was anything in there?"

Barret shook his head and shrugged. "He did that in the reactors and under the plate too. Dunno how he finds all the random stuff people lost but..."

Further conversation stopped as a familiar bald man in a navy suit stepped into the pool of sunlight from the mine exit. "Just a second!" He called in a slow but authoritative tone.

"Rude?" Zack gaped at the man. "What is a Turk doing here?"

"You're not here to reclaim us are you?" Red asked, stepping in front of Aerith.

"Kidnapping isn't all we do." Rude shook his head, opened his mouth and paused. He frowned, shuffling his feet obviously uncomfortable.

"Sir!" A young blond woman called from above. Her Turk's suit was freshly pressed and clearly new. "It's alright Rude, I know you don't like speeches, so let me handle it."

"Alright Elena," Rude nodded with an obvious note of relief in his voice.

"First off, you guys really thrashed Reno, because of that I was able to get this job," She said waving a finger at them. "So I'm not sure whether to be happy or mad at you! Anyway we-"

"Elena, keep it simple." A man's crisp voice cut her off. With the measured clacking of dress shoes another Turk stepped from the sunlit doorway.

"S-sir, sorry sir." She ducked her head in apology, shoulders drooping.

"Tseng?" Aerith peeked from behind Zack's shoulder.

Ignoring the Ancient, Tseng called to the blonde on the outcrop across the chamber. "Remember to file your report on your information gathering later."

"Right sir!" Elena gushed and saluted. "Rude and I have a _golden_ opportunity. I learned that a man in _black_ was seen headed to the Junon Harbor."

Cloud stiffened and shot Elena a stunned look. It couldn't be... But as he peered across the chamber, he recognized the petite blonde from Kunsel's base. Catching his calculating gaze, she winked at him. Shifting her focus to Tifa, Elena flicked her gray eyes from the brunette to Tseng and back. Tifa obediently followed her gaze and studied the Turk a moment. She looked back at Elena and nodded once. If Cloud hadn't been watching the exchange so closely, he would have missed the female Turk's flashed smile. Catching and understanding were not mutually inclusive though...

Tseng sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Just don't let him get away."

Obviously capable of following more than one interaction, Elena saluted to Tseng and cried, "Yes Sir!" in perfect coordination with Rude. While the bald Turk climbed the vines to reach Tseng's side, she vanished over the edge and out of sight.

"Reno's looking forward to meeting you again." Rude said when he finished climbing. "He wants to thank you personally for the vacation time."

Tseng spared a nod for Aerith and turned his gaze to meet Zack's guarded violet gaze. "Fair."

"Tseng."

"I have something for you," The Turk said, his tone level. He reached into his jacket, not even flinching when Red's warning growl echoed in the chamber and the others tensed.

"I apologize for the late delivery," he continued, pulling out a small brown package. "But you've been... indisposed for quite a while." He flicked the brick shaped object to the former First and followed his subordinate from the cave.

Zack caught the item and slipped it wordlessly into his pocket.

"Is that wise?" Red asked quietly.

"Yeah, I knew Tseng before... If he wanted us dead, we'd already be dead."

"Do you know what it is?" Tifa asked, tilting her head toward his pocket.

"I have my suspicions. Anyway we should probably leave." Zack rolled his head, cracking his neck.

Barret grunted. "Be glad to leave this crazy &% 'mine' behind."

"I agree," Red murmured. "There is something disconcerting about the construction of this mine, and I miss the heavens." The feline ignored the vines and jumped onto the raised ledge.

After helping Aerith up, Zack blinked and looked around. "Where's Cloud?"

"He said he wanted to pick up some things from down there," Aerith answered, pointing to a doorway off the main chamber.

Cloud slipped out of the room, tucking an Elixer and a Hi Potion in his bottomless bag. "Okay, now we can go."

Zack fought down an inarticulate howl of rage. He whirled on Tifa, "Has Cloud _always_ been able to find stuff like this?"

"Um, we weren't the closest as kids, but I don't _think_ so." Tifa leaned away from the man's intense gaze.

"That's not fair," Zack muttered as Aerith patted his arm. "Why didn't Hojo give ME treasure senses?"

* * *

**I took a few liberties with the mine but frankly... they're traveling under a _mountain range_... It would have to take longer than the few rooms the game provided. :P If you have any questions, leave a review or PM.


	9. Much ado about materia

Wow, over 100 reviews! You guys are awesome, especially those who took a little time to review! I'll never hold a chapter hostage (usually it is the other way around...) but reviews really light up my day! Enjoy the chapter!

* * *

Chapter Nine: Much Ado about Materia

"I know our time underground was disorienting, but why are we traveling east when Junon is to the west?" Red XIII asked as he padded at Cloud's side.

"I was wondering the same thing." Aerith brushed a curl behind her left ear and looked up at Zack. "Weren't you wondering too Zack?"

The scowling former SOLDIER blinked out of his sulk. "What?"

"We're wondering why Cloud is leading us east when Junon is to the west," Tifa supplied.

"If he'd been paying attention, he'd already know where we're going." Cloud tossed back.

Pleased by the vote of confidence, the young man took in their surroundings. The sun hung low in the sky behind them and thick grass spread before them, the rolling surface broken by a few rocky ridges. Off in the distance, he noticed a blackened patch of earth. Further on was a similar marking. He smiled. "Good thinking Cloud."

The corner of Cloud's mouth quirked up in a half smile, and he nodded back.

"Mind lettin' the rest of us in on the secret?" Barret grumbled.

Zack raised an eyebrow at Cloud, who shrugged and waved a hand to his friend. Chuckling, Zack pointed at the nearest black patch. "That's a reactor footprint. There will probably be some sort of town around it, which means-"

"Showers!" Aerith and Tifa cheered.

* * *

Despite their enthusiasm, the burly sentry at the base of the reactor-topped mesa barred their way. "Listen buddy," he glared up into Zack's face. "We're not letting Shinra come and harm the condor. So get your black spiky butt outta here and take your friends with-" something in the man's pocket buzzed and he pulled out a PHS. Scowling, he scanned the message. His jaw dropped while his eyes widened. He looked back and forth between Cloud and Zack.

"I-I'm sorry! I should have realized..." He bowed in apology. "Please come up, I'll have a room prepared for you." The bald man scurried back into the crack serving as the reactor entrance.

"What... just happened?" Barret gaped at the opening.

Cloud sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Kunsel."

"Damn it Kunsel!" Zack cursed, searching the cliff for surveillance cameras. "How are you doing this?" Zack yelped as his PHS vibrated with a message.

It read: "_It's a secret!-Kunsel_"

An inarticulate cry of rage caught in Zack's throat. Aerith leaned around him and read the message. "That's... actually kind of creepy. Do you think he put some sort of tracker on us?"

Cloud shook his head, "He doesn't need to."

"Interesting choice of words." Red flicked a fly away with his ear. "Please explain what you meant by that."

Shrugging, the blond shook his head again. "Even if I told you, I don't think you would believe me." He looked back to the west, the sky gleamed a blood red with the setting sun. "Let's get inside, it will be dark soon." Cloud slipped inside the crack.

"You got any idea what that meant?" Barret asked Tifa, jerking a thumb after the departed leader.

She shrugged helplessly. "There were stories when I was a kid but..."

Zack's phone buzzed again. "_Don't forget to stock up on Hypers and Tranquilizers.-K_"

"Damn it Kunsel! Do you watch me shower too?"

Seconds later, his PHS vibrated again. "_I'll let you wonder._"

"Cloud!" Zack howled, bolting into the fort waving the small device.

* * *

"I knew Kunsel could find out a lot more information than most people but this is a bit much." Zack confided as the party settled in the large sleeping area the people of Ft. Condor provided.

"It's a trick he does sometimes Zack." Cloud soothed his friend while digging in his pack for a whetstone. "Kunsel can't watch you all the time, but he knows you well enough to guess what your next thought would have been. He used that knowledge to tease you appropriately."

Slightly mollified, the tall man fell back onto his bed. Cloud leaned his Hardedge on his knees and ran the whetstone over some nicks.

"I probably shouldn't have been surprised, Kunsel has a member in the Turks," Aerith said, looking up from drying her hair with a towel.

"What?" Zack sat up and gaped at her.

Cloud nodded, testing the edge of his blade. "Elena gave Tifa something back in Midgar." He raised an eyebrow at her.

Tifa averted her eyes, suddenly fully focused on combing her own damp hair. "She didn't _give_ me something, she was returning it."

"Returned what?" Zack asked. He leaned towards her, violet eyes wide.

"N-nothing."

Zack's grin grew toothy at her stutter.

Cloud's eyes flicked from his childhood friend to his male friend. He really wanted to know what Elena gave Tifa, but unlike Zack, he noticed the spark of growing irritation in the brunette's whiskey-toned eyes. "Speaking of gifts from Turks," Cloud interjected. "What did Tseng give you?"

Zack stiffened, eyes flicking to Aerith. "Um, well he-" Zack paused and ran his fingers through his hair. A pout fell across his face and he looked down. "He was returning something."

"Now where have we heard that before?" Barret asked, tossing a small wink at the barmaid. She sent him a small, grateful smile. Amidst the resulting laughter, Zack's expression grew pensive. He climbed up the ladder and out of the room.

* * *

Zack sat on the rocky bluff at the base of the reactor. His fingers clung to the small rectangular package as he stared across the dark plains to the distant, sparkling line of the ocean. He twitched at the sound of a purposefully scuffed footstep and then relaxed when he recognized the creak of Cloud's sword harness. The blond sat to his right and a little behind to join in watching the ocean.

A cool breeze ruffled their hair and whistled hauntingly through some unseen hollow in the plateau. The nearly full moon above cast a pale light that even normal eyes could travel in with some time to adjust.

After several minutes of silence, Cloud whispered, "It's her 88 missing letters, right?"

Zack whirled around so fast his back popped in protest. "How did you know about that?"

Keeping his eyes locked on the distant ocean, Cloud sighed. "You know I remember bits and pieces of our trip, right?"

Zack nodded slowly.

"Well, sometimes you read aloud." Cloud ducked his head, a lopsided smile on his face.

Laughing despite himself, Zack scooted backwards so he could talk in a more comfortable position. "So what do you think I should do about them?" He stroked the seam of the paper wrapping, lifting it slightly but not enough to open it.

"What do you want to do?" Cloud asked.

"I want to read them of course! But at the same time, I don't... I don't want to read about her giving up on me for not answering her letters." Zack's brow furrowed and he hung his head.

After a moment's thought, Cloud shrugged and said, "Then answer."

"What?"

"Answer her letters."

Zack blinked, "But I don't remember what I was doing back then."

Cloud shook his head. "Well, then write about our feelings as you read her letters."

"But why should I write them when she's just downstairs?" Zack cupped his chin in his left hand and braced his arm against his knee.

"You can still tell her your feelings," Cloud chuckled, "but getting them in a letter... well, women seem to like that a lot. My mom had a box of letters my dad wrote when he was courting her."

Zack's expression screwed up into a mixture of disbelief and confusion. "No way. Are women _really_ that sentimental about letters?"

"A lot of them are." Cloud shrugged. "My mom kept every letter I sent home while in training." A wistful smile crossed the blond's face.

Meanwhile, Zack's horrified face visibly paled even in the faint moonlight. "Uh oh," he whispered, remembering the contents of his last and only letter home. "Dad's going to kill me..." He clutched handfuls of his hair and shook his head moaning.

"Huh?" Cloud tilted his head to the side. "Zack? What do you mean?"

"N-nothing!" His laugh had a slightly hysterical note to it. "Thanks for the idea; I've got some letters to write." Waving his hand in a half salute, half wave, he ignored the ladder and jumped down the hole leading back into the fort.

* * *

The next morning, Cloud stretched and lightly grimaced as several of his vertebrae popped. A choked off laugh escaped his lips when he spotted Zack. The man dozed in his bed surrounded by small purple wads of paper. Aerith's shockingly pink pen loosely clasped in his hand.

Resisting the urge to bounce one of the paper balls off his friend's black, spiky head he hissed, "Zack!"

Years of training stepped in and Zack's eyes opened, instantly alert and scanning for danger. "What?" he whispered back.

"The girls are going to wake up soon, you'd better clean up." Cloud couldn't fight the edge of humor that crept into his voice.

Zack flinched violently and tried to hide the evidence behind his back and then his shoulders slumped in defeat. He turned pleading eyes on his younger friend. At Cloud's unmoved expression and raised eyebrow, he added a lip quiver.

Zack whimpered, and finally Cloud looked away, shuddering. "Alright, alright! I won't tell anyone about this, but you _owe_ me!"

The pout vanished. "Thanks Cloud." He slipped Aerith's pen and last few slips of paper in her pack while Cloud gathered the purple scraps of paper into a pile on a blackened portion of the wooden flooring. A small fire spell swiftly erased the evidence.

Cloud ground the ashes into the old burnt patch and snickered at his friend. "Let's see if the item shop has a more masculine selection of paper and pens."

Grimacing in agreement, Zack led the way up the rope ladder. "Much as I hate to admit it, Kunsel was right; we need to stock up on Hypers and Tranquilizers. We should probably pick up some Maiden's Kisses while we're here too." Zack mused as they walked up to the counter a neon sign labeled as the item shop.

Cloud glowered at his Zack's back, but before he could respond, an old man's rusty laughter rang out. The pair gaped at the short yet surprisingly energetic figure. The top of his silvered head wouldn't have reached Aerith's shoulders.

He squinted up at them, his right eye half-closed and a toothy smirk on his face."Heh, Maiden's Kiss, that's the pansy way out." The old man snorted. "In the good old days, we took being turned into a toad and fought fire with fire. If you turned into a toad, cast Toad again and you were back. Potions are expensive, but mana replenishes." He trailed off, muttering to himself.

Zack raised a sardonic eyebrow at the man's odd, white and green striped attire topped with a bright crimson cape.

Before he could comment, the old man snapped his head back up. "And another thing! You boys missed out, being born in this era. In my day, there was another transformation spell, one even more humiliating than a little frog spell: Piggy!"

Zack and Cloud exchanged a glance when the man leaned forward, eyes expectant. They turned their backs to him and shook their fists three times. Zack kept the fist while Cloud laid his hand flat and then grinned. Zack rolled his eyes and they turned back around.

"What was Piggy?" He asked in a tone dripping with forced interest.

"Hah, Piggy, that was the spell. Embarrassing as all get out, but damn useful on the trail." He sighed lustily and his squinty eyes sparkled. "Never had to carry rations when you had Piggy."

Zack paled and a hysterical giggle escaped Cloud.

"You laugh boy," The old man scolded, waving a finger. "Things were hard then and we had to survive! Sahagin tastes awful and you can't get much meat off a frog. But a _pig_!"

Cloud stopped laughing and frowned thoughtfully. Zack shook his head.

"I see at least the Chocobo is starting to understand. Think of it this way Porcupine; bacon whenever you want it."

The silence stretched as Zack's eyes grew wider and wider.

"Why doesn't that spell exist anymore?" Zack wailed. "Do you have the materia for it?" He asked hopefully.

The old man waved a dismissive hand. "Din't use materia boy. All of our magic was _learned_. Not every yahoo off the street could perform magic, was safer that way too."

"Can you teach it to us?"

"Heh, sorry Porcupine, looks like my friend is here. Wait a moment and a young man will be out to help you. Have fun saving the world boys." He shuffled out from behind the counter and smiled at a little old woman whose face and outfit seemed remarkably like his own. Taking her arm, they headed toward the nearby stairs.

Pouting, Zack whirled away, arms folded. Thus, only Cloud caught the man's cheeky smile as he and the woman faded away.

A young man stepped out of the back room, face flushed. "Sorry, I was in the back, what can I help you with?" Cloud stared where the couple vanished, eyes wide and only vaguely heard Zack's huff of disappointment over the lack of Maiden's Kisses.

Tifa and Barret joined them just as Zack turned around to ask for money for his purchases. Physically shaking himself, Cloud looked blankly at his friend. "What?"

"It's going to cost five thousand gil," Zack repeated. Cloud bit his lower lip. Rations and restocking were important, but that was a hefty sum.

Tifa shrugged, and pulled a few dozen pairs of Grand Gloves from Cloud's pouch. The blond looked from his pouch to the gloves, an expression of confusion on his face.

Barret whistled. "How did you steal all those without any of us noticin'?"

Tifa grinned. "My materia leveled, so now I can attack and steal at the same time." She walked up to the the counter and handed the stack to the merchant. "Will this cover it?" She asked. The stammering clerk nodded and even returned a few hundred gil in change.

As the party walked away from the reactor, Cloud shook off the last of his shock and turned to the former SOLDIER. "You know Zack; I always wondered... why is there a reactor out here? From what I understand, the fort is a recent addition."

Zack blinked, frowned, and then scratched the back of his head. "I have no idea. Heck I still don't know why Gongaga got a reactor." Shaking their heads they headed towards Junon, the early morning sun casting their shadows in long lines before them.

* * *

Despite the usual monster encounters, they party traveled at a good pace across the rolling plains. They skirted the edges of several small wooded areas but the forest stretching out before them was too large.

Cloud shook his head with a scowl. "We're going to have to go through. I hate Cappawires," he muttered the last under his breath as he led them through the trees and fern-choked underbrush. It only took one run-in with the thorny, wood monsters for Cloud's opinion to spread to the others. A handful of encounters later and they all regretted taking the shortcut.

Cursing, Zack tried to smooth down his electrically modified hair. "Damn it, my hair doesn't need any help!"

"'Least you ain't got a metal arm." Barret snarled while Aerith cast a recovery spell on him.

"Or fur," Red hissed rolling his shoulders and lashing his tail in discomfort. "I thought wood didn't conduct electricity."

Patting his own charged locks down, Cloud peered through the trees. "I think we're almost out."

Everyone sported scratches and burns from the swarming monsters, so a weak cheer rose at the announcement. The sound of something running through the ferny undergrowth dashed their hopes of a clean escape. With a final crash, a young Wutaian girl with short black hair wearing a rather sparse outfit landed in a crouch before them. A large, four pointed shuriken gleamed in her right hand.

"Ha ha! Foolish travelers, prepare to have your burdens lightened! If you value your lives and dignity, drop your money, items, materia, and flee." She rose from her crouch, looked up, and paled. "Hey! What is this, a tour group? Why are there so many of you?"

Not giving time for a response, she continued, "It doesn't matter, six or six hundred, you will all fall before the might and fearsome beauty of the white rose of Wutai. The one, the only-"

"Yuffie?" Zack interrupted, gaping at the teen.

"How did you...? YOU!" She stared at Zack pointing a finger. Her extended hand trembled and the color drained from her face. "But you're dead!"

The Shuriken fell from her hand, one prong embedding in the soft forest loam. She crumpled to her knees, eyes wild. "Auntie Miako told me a vengeful spirit would come for me if I didn't eat my veggies. Why didn't I listen?" She curled into a ball, sobbing. Zack's eyes widened as he looked down at the young woman.

"Um... I'm not dead. Shinra lied."

"Shinra? Ha, of course they lie; I don't need a ghost to tell me that!" Yuffie sat up on her knees. "When you stopped answering my messages, I called your phone company and they told me you were dead."

Tifa and Aerith blinked and looked at Zack for his response. Zack's brow furrowed, trying to come to terms with believing the phone company but not Shinra... when they probably got the information _from_ Shinra. All he managed was a rather confused, "Huh?"

She rolled her eyes. "If the phone company says you're dead, you _must_ be. They'd do anything to keep someone on contract."

"She's got a point." Barret shook his head with a grin.

The girl returned to her wailing. "Why didn't I stock up on Papi Hiiro's warding charms? Why didn't he make me take them! When I become a ghost I'm gonna haunt him!"

Cloud rolled his eyes and patted her on the crown of her bowed head. "Hey, Yuffie was it? Zack can't be a ghost."

"Prove it!"

"Look at his legs," Cloud said in a soothing voice. The young ninja reluctantly pulled her hands from her face and looked.

"Now, look down." Cloud urged.

Yuffie looked down and after a moment, blinked. Her color swiftly returned. "Oh... He's _not_ a ghost!" She reared up and punched Zack lightly on the arm. "Don't scare me like that!"

As she demanded to know where the man had actually been, Barret looked down at Red XIII. "Any idea how that worked?"

Red hummed and nodded. "Very wise of Cloud. The Wutaians believe that ghosts don't have feet."

"How in the world would a kid from a backwater town like Nibelheim learn something like that?"

"Three guesses and the first two don't count," Tifa sighed, shaking her head when she caught the grimace on the listening Cloud's face. The three shook their heads and returned their attention to the ninja and former SOLDIER.

"But seriously," Yuffie tugged on Zack's left hand. "How did you make the phone company think you were dead? I could use some tips."

"Why would you want them to think you're dead?" He raised his arm, but she clung tight, her feet leaving the ground.

Doggedly retaining her grip, she grunted. "I _told_ you, they have _ways_ of finding you..." She swung a moment more and let go. "What, you don't think I'm roaming the wild for _fun_ do you?"

Zack shook his head. "Even if I could teach you a skill I don't have, I don't have time."

"We're on a mission," Cloud explained.

Yuffie turned and looked at Cloud for long moment, nodded, and said in a wise voice. "You... have awesome hair." She turned her attention back to the former SOLDIER. "Anyway, if you're in a hurry, why don't we cut to the chase and you give me your materia? That Thunderga of yours is calling my name."

Zack shook his head. "Can't, Hojo stole it all. I think he destroyed them."

"That monster!" She clenched her fists, eyes flashing with anger. "So now you're on a quest to avenge yourselves?"

Zack opened his mouth to correct her but she barreled on. "Very well. Your quest is just and I shall aid you. I only require your materia. A paltry sum for my presence, but I'm feeling generous." She smiled benignly; hand over her heart and eyes closed modestly.

The silence stretched for a few seconds. Finally, she opened her eyes to see an empty clearing. "Hey!" She cried, snatching her weapon and scrambling after the party.

Finally free of the forest and its violent fauna, Tifa stretched her arms to the sun and then turned to Cloud. "Speaking of materia, what about that one you found in the mine?"

"Indeed," Red nodded. "Have you determined its use and who you will assign it to?"

Cloud hummed and pulled out a magenta materia.

Barret's eyes widened at the familiar color and raised his arms in a warding motion. "I ain't takin' it!" he declared, shuddering slightly.

The blond rolled the orb in his palm. "It is called Long Range. From what I sense, it makes it so you can attack from further back yet keep the same attack power."

He lobbed the small orb underhand to Zack. "You pick who gets it while I deal with our little tag-along."

Zack caught the materia and watched as Cloud snatched Yuffie's 4-Point Shuriken out of the air. Ignoring the teen's howl of shocked outrage, Zack studied the magenta sphere. Humming thoughtfully, he finally handed the materia to Aerith. "You take it Aerith."

"I'm curious to know the reasoning behind your choice," Red asked, his brow raised.

Zack shrugged and scratched the back of his head. "Well, she'll be safer in the back and..." he hesitated, catching Aerith's narrowing eyes. "And... and...

_Meanwhile..._

"My Shuriken!" Yuffie squawked at Cloud and stomped her foot. "Give it back!"

Mimicking her earlier stance, Cloud threw the weapon far beyond the Wutaian princess. She snorted in disgust. Cloud cleared his throat and pointed behind her, she spun around just in time to catch the weapon on its return.

She looked from the weapon in her hand and then back to the blond. "Why did you give it back that way?" She asked, securing it to her lower back.

Cloud shrugged and scratched his right eyebrow. "You're used to catching it that way and it is less strain on your wrist to catch it after it has lost some momentum."

"True." Yuffie nodded slowly, and then shook her head, gaze turning intent. "So about that materia..."

Cloud folded his arms, channeled what few memories he still had of his mother, and gave the girl a stern look.

Yuffie's eyes widened and she hung her head slightly. "What about one? Two?"

"I thought you were using the forests to hide, why would you want to come with us?"

Yuffie rolled her eyes. "Well, yeah, but even if there are lots of monsters around, it gets old fast. It looks like you guys are up to something interesting so I want in!"

"Cloud!" Zack wailed.

Fighting a resigned laugh at his friend's desperate tone, he turned his back on the ninja and rejoined the others. Curious, and unwilling to be left behind, she followed.

Tifa and Aerith scowled down at the cowering young man while Barret snickered in the background.

"Zack?" Cloud asked, raising an eyebrow in a silent demand for an explanation. Zack whimpered but didn't respond. "Ladies?"

"He gave me the materia because he thinks I'm weak," Aerith growled.

"He doesn't think I'm feminine enough to need protecting," Tifa snarled.

The former SOLDIER First whimpered again.

Cloud hummed thoughtfully. "Yeah, I would have made the same decision. Aerith's healing and magic are the strongest in our group. Zack was thinking that in the back, she'd be able to keep an eye on our status and still be able to perform a physical attack in a pinch."

The pair relaxed slightly, and Zack tentatively pulled his hands from his head. He peeked up at the girls, puppy-eyes full blast. Aerith resisted a minute before giving in and patting him gently on the head.

Tifa slipped to Cloud's side. "Do you really think that's why he did it?" she asked in a whisper, her eyes narrowed in suspicion.

Cloud shook his head and snorted. "Don't ask questions you already know the answer to," he chided lightly. "Zack probably only wanted to protect his girlfriend, you can't fault him too much for that."

Tifa grudgingly nodded, her pout smoothing into fond resignation as she watched Zack crouch at Aerith's feet while she combed her fingers through his hair.

"Smoothly done." Red's voice was tinged with admiration. Yuffie's jaw dropped and she stared down at the red-toned feline.

"I once again feel justified in my decision to nominate Cloud as our leader," he continued.

Barret grunted. "Yeah, I'm glad I voted for Cloud too."

The lion-beast quirked an eyebrow up at the larger man.

Reading the unspoken question, the man huffed, "Jes- 'cause I don't use that flowery speech don't mean I can't understand it."

A distance away, Cloud yelped as Zack grabbed him in a headlock and knuckled his hair.

Barret snorted at the spectacle and smirked down at Red XIII. "And don't think I haven't noticed you crankin' up the vocab either."

"Hm, touché." Red shot him a toothy grin.

Finally regaining her voice, Yuffie squealed, "It talks!"

Everyone stopped at her exclamation to dumbly follow her pointing finger. Stealing the opportunity, Cloud slipped free from Zack's headlock and ruffled his hair back to normal.

Red XIII sat up on his haunches, an affronted look on his face. "Young lady, I'll have you know I'm most assuredly male."

"Huh?" Yuffie blinked.

"Red's a 'he' not an 'it'." Barret translated. "You wouldn't like it if someone called you a boy would 'ya?"

Yuffie stiffened, and her eyes went from Aerith to Tifa. She looked down, eyes watering, and patted her chest sadly. "I'm still growing..."

"Barret!" Aerith scolded.

"_If_, damn it! IF someone called you a boy!"

"Couldn't you tell from his voice?" Zack raised his right eyebrow at her. "He has a really deep, manly voice."

"So does Lady Haruka!" Yuffie snapped, cheeks puffing in a pout.

An awkward silence fell and Cloud coughed into his fist, eyes swiftly judging the angle of the sun. "Let's get moving. We can probably travel a few more miles before dark."

"What about me?" Yuffie cried, waving a fist. "You owe me your materia!"

"Hey, we don't owe you anything," Zack scolded. "Don't be a spoiled brat. You can't just get things because you demand them."

"You tell her!" Barret folded his arms and nodded.

Yuffie's face scrunched into a pout, and a chill of apprehension traveled down Cloud's spine. "You aren't going to let this go, are you?" he asked.

"Not until I get what I want," she answered in a low, petulant voice.

He folded his arms and looked down, brow furrowed in thought. Yuffie tapped her foot impatiently until Cloud finally sighed and uncrossed his arms. "Most of our materia is the common kind you can buy anywhere," he admitted. "But, if you swear on your honor to stop demanding our materia and help us on our quest... If you can do that, I'll let you have this."

Cloud dug in his pouch and held out a polished red orb. Yuffie's breath caught in her throat, her eyes locked greedily on the summon. Shaking her head, she huffed and tried to look disdainful, but her rapt gaze betrayed her.

"What is he doing?" Zack hissed to Tifa.

"I have no idea." Tifa shook her head. "That's the only summon we have, why would he give it to her?"

"Very well." Yuffie folded her arms and raised her head in an imperious gesture. "I will accept your terms. Now gimme!" The royal demeanor fell away, and she reached for the materia.

"Ah, ah, ah-" Cloud chided, raising it above his head. "You haven't sworn on your honor yet."

Yuffie snapped her fingers in disappointment.

* * *

After a hearty meal from Yuffie's skillfully hunted boar, they gathered around the fire while Zack explained their mission to the young fugitive. Eager to avoid reliving the details of Sephiroth's descent into madness, Tifa and Cloud conversed as they slowly walked the perimeter of the camp.

Zack sat back as he finished, "And finally, hacking things up like a wild animal is a waste of energy. It isn't something a SOLDIER First in his right mind would do." Zack spread his hands.

"You mean like you did with your dinner?" Barret raised a questioning eyebrow.

Zack blinked, "Hey! I was hungry!" Then he pouted, "Anyway, I never really acted like the other firsts. If you want to know what they acted like, look at Cloud."

They looked up in time to see the blond pause in his conversation with Tifa and casually behead a Nerosuferoth that came too close to camp. Without missing a beat, he sheathed his sword and continued talking.

"...Just like that." Zack shook his head. "Of course, Sephiroth was like that all the time." He waved his right hand. "But the other firsts and Cloud joke around sometimes."

Behind Zack, Cloud stooped down and picked something up from the ground, a wide smirk on his face.

"Hey Zack, catch!" Cloud tossed a pebble sized item at the man. With a slight fumble in the half-light of the setting sun, Zack caught it.

Aerith and Yuffie peered down at the red and green beetle in his hand. Zack frowned and scratched his head. Red XIII peered over his shoulder and barked a laugh. "A Junon Dung Beetle. How thoughtful, Cloud remembered your favorite."

Zack's left eye twitched and he glared back at the blond. "Cloud..." he growled in a low voice. The blond laughed and sprinted away, the snarling former First close behind. Tifa sighed, a tolerant expression on her face as Zack passed her. She slipped into Zack's spot, rolling her eyes at the beetle Zack left behind.

Yuffie blinked at the small insect and tossed a confused look at the pale Aerith and guffawing Barret. "I don't get it."

Red shook his head at the ninja and stooped to sniff the beetle squirming on its back. Shrugging once, he licked the insect into his mouth and crunched it a few times. "Hm, he was right. It does have an interesting flavor."

The three women grimaced at the feline while out of morbid curiosity, Barret asked, "Yeah? Like what?"

"It's a bit like a mixture of caramel and mint," he replied, rolling the flavor around his mouth. "I'm honestly unsure what to think about it."

Half an hour later, Zack's laughter rang across the grassland as he returned to camp with Cloud's right arm slung over his shoulders. The blond's head bobbed with each step, and a trickle of blood ran between his glazed eyes. Zack's hair was scrambled in worse disarray than usual and he sported a few seeping gashes and bruises.

"What happened?" Aerith gasped, activating her Restore materia.

Zack laughed sheepishly as he lowered the dazed blond to the ground. "Well... remember when I told Chocobo Billy that we'd buy a Chocobo Lure if we needed to breed chocobos?"

Tifa looked up from dabbing at the blood on Cloud's face with a handkerchief. She paled and her eyes widened while Aerith numbly nodded.

Zack sat down with a groan and prodded a knot on his forehead. "Well, apparently it is mating season and we busted up the party. A couple went after me too." He sighed in relief as Aerith's healing spell washed over him. "On the bright side, Cloud won a new Enemy Skill."

Cloud scowled at the former SOLDIER and blinked in surprise as Red XIII approached, head hanging in guilt. "I fear I must ask your pardon Zack. I gave in to my curiosity and deprived you of the snack Cloud gathered for you."

Zack growled at the beast, a hint of red darkening his cheeks.

"Totally worth it," Cloud laughed weakly, flopping onto his back.

"You guys are weird," Yuffie declared, her brows knotted in confusion.

Barret snorted, "You ain't seen nothin' yet."

* * *

**Chapter Notes:**

-On Final Fantasy Wikia, under FFVII special viewable items, there is something listed as "Zack's last letter". A few of the kanji are too blurry for me to make out, but in the letter he apologizes for running away from home, but that he really wanted to join SOLDIER. In the P.S. he mentions that he's found a girlfriend... Obviously, Zack isn't a big letter writer...

-Pig vs Piggy: It was Piggy in the version I played (shrugs)


	10. For want of a grappling hook

AN: I would have posted this chapter a week ago, but my motherboard died. (sad face) Anyway, a small shout out to _SapphyreMyst_ and _Shimmer712_ who weren't logged in, but correctly identified Palom and Porom from FFIV in the last chapter.

**Chapter Ten: For want of a grappling hook**

Cloud stretched in the bluish light of the false dawn. He looked down at where Yuffie dozed and chuckled. She cupped the crimson summon materia to her cheek, mumbling sleepily about materia and catching them all. Shaking his head, he nodded to Barret who was standing watch.

As the drowsy party gathered their sleeping gear and munched on the leftovers of the previous night's meal, Cloud crouched at Tifa's side. "Have you used your Steal materia against any of the Formula we've met? They're the annoying bird things that like to dive-bomb us."

The young woman shook her head. "No, I've been focusing on forming a new limit break. Want me to Mug the next ones we find?"

Cloud nodded his head towards the now awake Yuffie. "Now that we have her in our party, it would be a good idea."

Tifa grinned and waved two fingers in a mock-salute.

"Sounds like you're gettin' a new weapon Small-Fry." Barret grunted, patting the ninja on the top of her head as he left the fire to pack his bedroll.

Scowling, she smoothed her hair and in a sullen voice asked, "What did he mean by that?"

"Tifa's going to use her Steal materia on the next Formula we meet to get you a new weapon," Aerith answered, a gentle smile on her face.

Yuffie's jaw dropped. "You can _do_ that?"

"Yep!" The Ancient chirped and showed Yuffie her Striking Staff. "Tifa stole this from an Eligor for me. All of us but Red XIII and Zack are using weapons Tifa took from enemies."

"Makes us feel unloved, doesn't it Red?" Zack asked with a mock pout.

"Don't act so hurt Zack," Tifa huffed, folding her arms under her ample bosom. "I offered to get a Hardedge for you, but you turned it down."

Zack's pout deepened and he turned his back to her with a huff.

Rolling his eyes at his friend's dramatics, Cloud shifted his bottomless pouch slightly. "Tifa helped us stock up on all sorts of potions and items from monsters too."

The young ninja pulled a yellow materia from her pouch and stared down at it in shock. "I gave up on using mine because I knew monsters didn't have wallets or materia to steal. I never thought about weapons or items."

* * *

Shortly after Tifa successfully stole a Boomerang for Yuffie, Junon came into view. The haze in the air and poisoned soil-while not as extreme-eerily mirrored Midgar. Barret eyed the massive city built over the sunlight-starved remains of a fishing village. "Anyone else feelin' deja vu?"

Tifa and Aerith grimaced and nodded. Cloud sighed and ran his left hand through his hair. "That probably means the place we need to go is up top too, doesn't it?"

Zack grunted in agreement. "There won't be any convenient cables to climb up this time either."

"Perhaps some opportunity will present itself," Red said, slipping into the darker half-light of Under Junon.

Aerith paused in the sun, just outside the shadow and sighed, looking up. "To think I used to be afraid of the sky." She shook her head and locked arms with Tifa. The younger woman gave her a weak smile of gratitude as they entered the shade together.

Junon's underside was a washed-out gray; its colors leeched away by the salty air, lack of sun, and despair. The faded remnants of the old fishing village huddled under the massive supports of Upper Junon like toadstools in a forest. Nearly every house bore the signs of lost fishing industry. Rusting spears and harpoons leaned against the slatted wood walls. Rotting fishing nets with cracked wooden floats hung on fences. Nothing summed up the state of the town better than the swordfish skeleton hanging outside an old man's house.

The mismatched party followed a surprisingly well-maintained road into the town. The cobble road carved a path between the houses and stopped at the base of a master support structure. A guard in the classic cobalt of Shinra's infantry stood before a pair of hydraulic doors. "A freight elevator!" Zack cheered.

"Um, Zack, there's a guard posted," Aerith pointed out, a weak smile on her face.

"Not a problem," Zack crowed, fists on his hips. "We have him totally outnumbered!"

Yuffie snorted. "I thought you worked for Shinra. Don't you see that security camera?" She pointed at a black dome over the doorway. "If you take out the guard, they'll put the doors in lock down."

Zack deflated, shoulders slumping. "Oh yeah... forgot about that."

"How did _you_ know that?" Tifa asked, folding her arms and shifting her weight to one leg.

Yuffie clasped her hands behind her back and looked up innocently. "Um, no reason. You know rumors."

"Right." Cloud drew the word out, and then shook his head. "Well, let's check out the town, maybe the locals can tell us how to get up there." The blond looked over the houses, expression grim.

Leaving the more industrial road, Cloud followed a worn footpath that passed between a pair of houses. The trail meandered past the dropping-spattered skeleton and a gap-ridden slat fence. It led down a crumbling staircase to a rocky cove.

When she saw the cove, Aerith gasped, hands clasped to her chest in wonder.

"Damn," Barret breathed. In contrast to the village, the small area was a riot of color. The stones glowed like fire in the sunlight. At the shoreline, the ocean shaded from emerald to the deepest cobalt. The rust-toned power conduit from the underwater reactor to Upper Junon barely diminished the beauty of the area.

A young girl's laughter rang out from below. Shaking off his wonder, Cloud led them to the waterline. Just off the shore, a chestnut-haired girl swam with a dolphin. She shrieked with laughter as the dolphin splashed her with its tail.

"That gives me an idea for my new limit break," Tifa hummed thoughtfully. Cloud raised an eyebrow at her, but before he could question her, a cry of alarm sounded from the water. The girl screamed for "Mr. Dolphin" to escape. The flying sea monster slapped her with its tail, leaving her limp form underwater.

"We gotta help her!" Barret cried his heart freezing at the thought of Marlene in a similar state.

The adventurers dashed down the last few steps and arranged themselves along the stone shoreline.

"It is called Bottomswell," Red called after checking with his Sense materia. "It is strong against Gravity and immune to Earth attacks-"

"I don't care what the damn thing is. We gotta help that li'l girl!" Barret interrupted, charging the monstrous fish, his Atomic Scissors swinging. He missed, and Bottomswell slapped him back to the group with its skeletal tail.

"-It also can only be reached with distance attacks," Red finished with a sigh.

"Talk faster next time," Barret wheezed, cradling his bruised ribs.

"We'll have to stick to magic," Cloud ordered, charging a lightning attack.

A bloodthirsty growl of agreement rose from the party. Soon the sheltered cove rang with thunder and the roar of fire as the battle ensued. Before the flying fish monster finished dissolving into the Lifestream, Barret waded into the surf to bring the girl to shore.

Zack coughed, rubbing his nose furiously after the monster's final tidal wave attack. He shot a suspicious look at Cloud, Tifa, and Aerith as the trio stopped pinching their noses. He scowled. "How did you guys know to plug your noses?"

Cloud grimaced, remembering the sewer monster they met after the fiasco with Don Corneo. "We ran into a monster with a similar attack."

"Be grateful this thing only used sea water," Tifa muttered, shuddering and clutching her stomach.

Aerith gagged and moaned, "Don't remind me!"

"Guys, she ain't breathin'!" Barret called from where he laid the girl on the ground.

Stowing the loot from the slain monster in his pouch, Cloud rushed to Barret's side. He reached him as a young man from the village screamed "Priscilla!" and crouched at the girl's side. Shock and then indecision flickered in his gray eyes when he spotted Cloud. He shook his head and pointed to the blond, "You. Give her CPR."

"Why can't _you_ do it?" Tifa asked suspiciously.

"Weak lungs," the man snapped. "Hurry!"

Cloud knelt at Priscilla's side and tilted her head back. Pinching her nose, he proceeded to blow several shallow breaths of air into the girl's lungs. Several repetitions later, she coughed up some water and curled on her side, clearing her lungs. With a cry of relief, the young man scooped Priscilla into his arms and dashed back to the village.

"I thought he had weak lungs," Tifa mused.

"Speaking of weak lungs," Yuffie piped up, fists on her hips. "Why were you giving the girl such wimpy breaths?"

Cloud sat down, bracing his arms on his raised knees. He shook his head, attempting to dispel the light-headed feeling from performing the rescue breathing.

Zack sighed and answered for his friend. "You might think it would be faster, but she's a _little_ girl. If Cloud had blown his full lung-span into her tiny lungs, he could have really hurt her."

"It would seem that we have an audience," Red XIII announced, pausing in grooming the saltwater from his pelt.

They looked up to see an old woman slowly descending the stairs. "Young warriors, thank you for slaying that monster and saving young Priscilla's life. Please, stay the night in my home as a show of gratitude."

"Cloud?" Aerith said in a questioning tone.

He nodded once and accepted Zack's extended hand. With a small grunt, the larger man heaved the blond to his feet. Cloud sighed and said, "We might as well, we need to plan our next step and get out of our wet clothes. Maybe even do some laundry?" He asked the last in a hopeful tone.

The small house near the entrance of the village was cozy. Three beds lined one wall and a scarred wood table filled the kitchen area. "I apologize for the lack of beds," the old woman bowed in contrition.

"That's okay," Zack assured her. "The floor is better than what we have been sleeping on."

"I see," the woman bobbed her head again. "Please enjoy the soup on the stove." She ducked out, leaving the party. Over the meal, they discussed plans to reach Upper Junon.

"What if we made a massive tower with our ice materia and climbed it to reach the town?" Yuffie asked, eyes sparkling.

"Er..." Cloud fought a grimace.

"Nah, I say we rappel down from the cliffs above Junon," Zack mimicked the action with a grin.

"I'm afraid my anatomy is poorly suited to rappelling," Red remarked dryly.

Zack blinked and then looked to Barret who rolled his eyes and translated. "Take a look at 'im, he ain't built to rappel."

"He wouldn't have trouble with an ice tower!" Yuffie sang with a grin.

"Do you _realize_ how much mana it would take to make an ice tower that tall?" Aerith asked, shooting the girl a disbelieving look.

"Meh, I've seen how many Ethers Cloud's packing." Yuffie flipped a hand dismissively. "I bet with your mana capacity you could do it."

"We could always find a vent and..." Zack raised his bracer and stroked Alfonse.

An uneasy silence fell. Tifa and Aerith darted worried looks from the grinning Zack to Cloud's bowed head and clenched fists. He took several deep breaths and gritted through his teeth, "How about we sleep on it. Perhaps something will come up in the morning."

"Okay," Zack shrugged, oblivious to the girls' twin sighs of relief. "You ladies get the beds."

After washing the dishes for the kind woman, the girls each claimed a bed. Cloud waited for Tifa to settle in her before lying down in the space between her bed and Aerith's. Leaning over the side, she asked, "Why are you sleeping there? Aren't you afraid of getting stepped on?"

Lying on his back with his head pillowed on his hands, he looked to his right, meeting Tifa's concerned look and then left, to meet Aerith's confused green eyes. He smirked. "Nah, even if you step on me, it won't hurt me much. As for your first question..."

He raised a finger to his lips and waved them closer. Both women leaned over the edges of their beds, a sparkle of conspiracy in their eyes. Sensing a secret, Yuffie bounced on Aerith's bed and peeked over her shoulder. "The reason I'm sleeping here is Zack's feet are toxic and Barret is a cuddler... incidentally, that's why Red is between you and Yuffie," he added with a nod to the two.

"Barret's a cuddler?" Tifa asked her mouth twitching as she fought a grin. Aerith and Yuffie stifled their giggles with their hands. It was hard to picture the large, rough man cuddling.

"I wouldn't mind so much if it weren't for his metal arm," Red XIII rumbled from the other side of Aerith's bed. "As for Zack... Sensitive nose."

The three young women collapsed in a pile of hilarity.

Zack dropped the last dining table chair in the barrier between him and Barret. He shot a wary look at the girls. "You don't think they're laughing at us do you?"

From his bedroll, Barret grunted and rolled his eyes at the younger man. "Prob'ly, when women laugh like that, they're makin' fun of _someone_."

"You're probably right," Zack conceded with a small pout. Sitting on his bedroll he unlaced his boots and pulled them off with a lusty sigh, wiggling his toes gingerly.

"_Damn_, man," Barret groaned, pinching his nose. "You could kill a dragon with those!"

Zack stiffened and then gave a stilted laugh. "Er, yeah... kill a dragon..."

* * *

Cloud groaned and sat up with a frown of confusion on his face. "What an odd dream," he muttered, scrubbing his fingers through his hair to fluff it back into shape. The house was empty, and Zack's "Barret Barrier" chairs were back around the table. He could hear faint music from outside. After stowing his bedding, he stepped out and realized the music was the President's March.

His missing companions stood in a half circle at the base of some stairs leading to a house's upper level. Before Cloud could ask why they were there, the door to the top level opened and Priscilla slowly descended the steps. Her umber-toned eyes flicked over the party. When her gaze landed on Cloud, her eyes widened and shone with an inner glow that sent chills down his spine. He shifted his feet, instincts screaming, "_Run, run NOW!_"

"It _is_ you!" she squealed. Recognizing the hunting cry of the crazed-fangirl, a cold sweat rose on Cloud's brow. The small pre-teen quickened her pace and Cloud backed up, mentally planning his escape route. His back collided with a muscular chest and a pair of strong arms gripped his right shoulder. Atomic Scissors and another strong hand gripped his left shoulder, locking him firmly in place.

"Sorry Cloud," Zack whispered from his right. "You have to deal with it eventually."

By this point, Priscilla reached the bottom of the stairs. She flung her arms around Cloud's waist and rubbed her cheek against his stomach. "I can't believe it's you!" She gushed. "_The_ Cloud Strife, Mirage, the Golden Illusion, and Chocobo Whisperer-"

Cloud flinched out of his frozen position and mouthed "Chocobo Whisperer?" to Zack, who sent him an equally baffled look.

Priscilla didn't notice the byplay and continued her enthusiastic praise. "I can't believe you're in Junon! And oh my gosh, _you_ saved _me_!" She finally released him and bounced in a small circle squealing that her friends were going to be so jealous.

On the other side of the small intersection, Tifa and Aerith covered their grins with their hands. Yuffie's cheeks turned red from the strain of holding back her laughter. The air came from her nose in a high-pitched squeak so unexpected that she snorted into gales of laughter. She hunched over, clutching her ribs and wheezing.

Priscilla didn't seem to notice the princess' humor and continued,"Anyway, to thank you for saving my life, I want to give you my treasure." She pulled a necklace from the folds of the orange sarong around her waist. Barret released the blond's arm so he could accept the gift.

Cloud's eyes widened as soon as the bauble landed in his hand. He stared down at the summon materia gleaming in its setting and breathed a sincere thank you to the girl. He tossed a smirk to the now gaping Yuffie. The moment over, Zack finally let him go and Cloud rolled his shoulder to restore the blood flow.

Barret jerked his chin to the under-girders of the city above and asked, "What's with the music?"

Priscilla blinked in confusion and tilted her head to listen. "Oh, that! Sorry, most of us have learned to tune it out. It's the local band playing for President Rufus. They sound pretty good now, but you should have hard them last week." She cringed and cupped her ears in remembered agony.

Cloud and Zack traded somber looks and peered up through the early morning gloom to the structure far above.

"If one of us could get up there, they could bring the elevator down for the rest," Tifa mused, shifting her weight to her right leg and resting her right hand on the raised hip.

"And I'm not going to make a tower of ice," Aerith added with a grin before Yuffie could suggest it again. The young ninja snapped her mouth shut with a huff.

"You guys need to get up top?" Priscilla asked in dismay. Her lips pursed and a line formed between her eyebrows. "The normal ways are under ultra-tight security for President Rufus, but... I think I know a way. Follow me."

She grabbed Cloud's right hand and pulled him to the small cove. The others followed while the girl explained. She pointed to one of the support columns with an electric warning sign. "To keep thieves and 'undesirables' from reaching the upper levels, they electrified the columns above the spikes. That one though..."

She pointed to the red painted tower in the water. "That one is reversed. It is electrified on the ground level instead of above."

"Um..." Zack scratched the back of his head. "But how would we get up there?"

Priscilla pulled out a small whistle and blew it. Her dolphin shot out of the water in a graceful arc. Noting how close it came to a low crossbeam, Barret grunted in understanding and said, "Good luck Cloud."

"Indeed," Red XIII nodded. "Go with care Cloud."

"Wait, what?" Cloud's eyes widened. "Why me?"

Zack sighed and clapped his friend on the back. "You and I are the only ones with Shinra issue uniforms, but I'm too big for poor Mr. Dolphin."

The blond frowned and folded his arms. "There has to be another way."

"Well..." Zack drew the word out. His gaze dropped to the Transform materia in his bracer. "There is Alfonse..."

Grimacing, Cloud turned to the eager girl and asked weakly, "How does this work again?"

"Just blow this whistle and Mr. Dolphin will jump." She handed Cloud a whistle on a leather cord and then pulled a small black item from the folds of her sarong. "I even brought a swimsuit for you!" She beamed and held up a tiny black speedo.

Tifa made a slight squawk in the back of her throat. She bit her lip, expression torn. Of course, only Aerith heard her, as Barret and Zack's laughter reverberated off the stone walls of the small cove.

"Wha- Why do you even have that?" Cloud sputtered, cheeks slightly red.

Priscilla shrugged, "I was hoping we could go swimming together. This is close enough. Put it on! Put it on!" She squealed, bouncing like a sugar-overdosed toddler.

"I'll pass," Cloud growled through gritted teeth.

"Aw," Priscilla pouted, dropping her gaze to the piece of fabric. "But I bought it just for you!" She stretched it a few times and then extended it to him. "Well you might as well take it with you, it's your size."

Eyes wide, he shot a desperate look at Tifa. She shook her head once and made a waving motion, clearly saying, "take it".

"Er, thanks," Cloud said his right eye twitching slightly at Barret and Zack's redoubled laughter. He picked the suit up between his thumb and forefinger like it was toxic and dropped it into his pouch. How much illicit underwear was he going to have by the end of this trip?

Just before he waded into the water, Barret wheezed one last time and called out, "Hey, better give me your PHS. You don't want it to get wet."

Shooting the man one last dark look, Cloud unclipped the phone and tossed it to him. A few swift strokes took him deep enough in for the dolphin to help him up. The water was warmer than he expected, but still too cold for his comfort. He slung the leather cord around his neck and blew the whistle.

Priscilla probably didn't expect him to hear her small squeal of, "Indirect kiss!" but he did. He stiffened in horror, throwing off his arc and missing the beam. He came up sputtering and shooting a dark look at the distant girl. Shuddering at the new thought she planted in his mind, he blew the whistle once more, determined not to miss. This time he braced properly against the dolphin's push and aimed with care. He landed lightly in a crouch on the beam. Water dripped from him and sparkled as it fell to the surf below.

"If he'd worn the speedo he would have looked even _more_ amazing!" Priscilla mourned. Tifa nodded numbly, her mind filling with the image of his bared muscles and skin sparkling with drops of water. She shook her head and then scowled down at the girl.

Cloud rose from his crouch, tossed them a wave, and scrambled into the city's under-girders. Once he was out of sight, Priscilla sighed wistfully and turned to the rest of the party. "So why did you guys need to get up there so desperately?"

An uncomfortable silence fell and they exchanged looks, wondering who should answer now their leader was gone. Tifa shrugged off the responsibility and peered over Yuffie's phone at something on the screen. She hissed something to Yuffie and the young ninja grinned and whispered something back. Barret frowned and shot a look at Zack who was stroking Alfonse and muttering. Backing away slightly, the large man turned to Aerith and raised his eyebrows in invitation.

Aerith shook her head and answered, "The man we're chasing came here, likely to cross to the other continent. We need access to the upper area so we can take the ship across."

The young girl stiffened, and her jaw dropped. "Wait, you guys wanted to get on a ship to cross the ocean?"

In the background, Yuffie looked up, eyes widening with horror. Crowing in triumph, Tifa snatched the girl's PHS from her numb fingers and fiddled with it.

Priscilla slapped her face and moaned. "I thought you guys wanted to sneak up to watch the parade! You should have told me you wanted to cross the ocean; it would have saved us a lot of trouble."

"Huh?" Zack raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Follow me," Priscilla ordered as she made her way down a well-worn path along the shoreline. Junon's massive harbor soon came into view. She led them to a large, rusting warehouse. The inside resembled a clothing store for Shinra's army and navy. Shelves and racks displayed uniforms ranging from sailor outfits to standard Shinra infantry. The accompanying accessories for each outfit lined the back wall.

"What the Hell?" Barret gaped at the racks. "What is this, Shinra-R-Us?"

Priscilla giggled sheepishly, and waved to the clothing. "The people of Junon and Costa Del Sol have a deal with the shipping companies. As long as stowaways are in uniform, willing to learn, and pull their weight, they can travel freely between the two ports."

Zack pinched the bridge of his nose, "So you're saying that all we have to do is dress up and get on?"

"Well, help too, but... yes." Priscilla nodded.

An abashed silence fell, and Zack scratched the back of his head. "I vote we tell Cloud the dolphin took us to the ship," he proposed.

"That's... probably a good idea," Tifa agreed with a sigh before dragging a whimpering Yuffie to the clothing racks.

Barret pulled Cloud's PHS from his bag, shook his head and sighed.

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

Cloud scrambled through the iron girders of the support tower until he no longer felt Priscilla's hungry gaze. That girl was _not_ normal... at least he hoped that was the case. He shivered as the cool sea breeze chilled his soaking clothes. After checking once more that he was out of sight, he removed his clothing and attempted to wring them dry.

Climbing through Junon's underside was harder than he had imagined. Nibelheim didn't have a jungle gym, so growing up he didn't have the chance to hone the fine skills of climbing in and through metal bars. Cursing as his left foot slipped and wedged into the joint between two angled beams, he paused to scratch his shoulder. The salt water drying on his clothes and skin itched horribly.

Grunting with exertion, Cloud braced his arms on a beam and jerked his boot free. He angled his foot so the sole pointed directly into the joint and caught, rather than twisting and squishing his toes. Once his footing was sure, he glared through the metalwork.

Only twenty feet away on another, girder an access ladder led to stairs and presumably the city proper. This was the fourth time he'd seen maintenance walkways he couldn't reach. After the second time, he realized that this support column wasn't electrified because it had _no_ direct access to the city. "If I had a grappling hook, this wouldn't be a problem," Cloud muttered and resumed his climb.

Exhausted, filthy, and in a foul mood, Cloud finally pulled himself onto the Junon airstrip. He sat a moment, curled over his raised knees to catch his breath and let his heartbeat slow down. He almost slipped more times than he cared to count. After surviving the fall from the Sector Five reactor, he knew he wouldn't have fallen to his death, but it still would have hurt.

Groaning as the bumps and bruises from his climb throbbed, he heaved himself to his feet and looked around. A large airship hovered over the landing pad, several cables tied it down. Cloud scratched his head and idly wondered how anyone boarded the floating ship. A few minutes later, he slipped inside Junon's Shinra compound. Infantry men and commanders scrambled towards the Junon-side exit. He ducked into a doorway before a crimson garbed drill sergeant spotted him.

When the hallway cleared, he dashed around the corner and opened the door leading to the elevator shaft. He gaped at the bare sheet of stamped metal that served as an elevator. The only railings in the shaft were on the bridge leading to the platform. He peered over the rail and squinted into the depths of the dark, round shaft. His lip involuntarily curled at the smell of oil and stagnant water. Shaking his head, he stepped on the bare sheet of metal and sent it down. A brilliant yellow emergency light on the large plate lit and spun as he descended.

When the elevator reached the bottom he heaved a sigh as the light finally dimmed. His head throbbed at the flashing strobe effect. Did that light have to spin the _whole_ way down? Gritting his teeth against a budding headache, he triggered the outer doors and stepped into lower Junon.

"S-Sir!" the man on guard snapped to attention.

"At ease, Private." Cloud waved a hand. "What is the situation down here? Any loiterers?"

"Sir! No Sir!" The young man fairly quivered at addressing a SOLDIER First. "A large party of strangers headed to the coastline two hours ago with a young local girl. She returned alone an hour ago."

"Thank you, keep up the good work." Cloud said and clapped the young man on his shoulder. He staggered but beamed up at Cloud before the blond slipped back into the elevator shaft. Squeezing his eyes shut to ward off the strobe effect, Cloud frowned in concern. Perhaps Priscilla did something to help the others board one of the ships. His hand drifted to his hip and then he cursed. Barret had his PHS, so he couldn't call them to ask.

Preoccupied with his thoughts, Cloud stepped out of the elevator and ran into another sergeant hunting stragglers. "You!" the man called, grabbing Cloud's arm. "Why aren't you in uniform? Come with me!"

"Wha?" Cloud stammered. The large man hardly gave him a choice as he bodily hauled him into a locker room.

"There's a uniform in that locker." The man pointed to an open locker near the end of the row. Then he pointed to a room off to the side. "Take a shower while you're at it, you smell like fish. Make it snappy!"

Part of Cloud still remembered his recruit and infantry days. The ingrained obedience instinct spurred him into snatching the indicated uniform and swiftly showering. He was grateful for the chance to wash off the salt water and change, even if the uniform was a bit small around the shoulders and long in the legs. At least the boots fit.

'_It's been a while since I've worn this uniform_,' he mused as he stowed his old clothes and sword in his bottomless pouch. Helmet in hand, he shouldered the rifle and stepped back into the locker room.

The Sergeant whirled to face Cloud, mouth open to bellow at him and then froze. "Cloud?"

* * *

Mwa ha ha! Until next time. There is another obscure reference in this chapter, I wonder if anyone will catch it? (grin)


	11. Great Sephiroth's Ghost!

Hello again! I mentioned an obscure reference in the last chapter... so obscure no one has caught it. (The Pokemon reference was a red-herring, by the way.) The reference was Cloud moaning about wanting a grappling hook ala _Freeman's Mind_. The YouTube series is hilarious but his language is a little colorful (just a warning).

Also, upon (finally) getting to this point in the game, the man who dragged Cloud off to join the parade was called both "captain" and "commander" um... My real-world understanding of military organization and ranks is poor so I'm going to stick with sergeant for now. If someone more knowledgeable wants to correct me, feel free! Anyway, enjoy the chapter!

**Chapter Eleven: Great Sephiroth's Ghost!**

"Cloud? It is you, isn't it?" The red-garbed sergeant frowned at the young man in the infantry uniform. Cloud nodded weakly.

"Man, I _thought_ I recognized that hair!" he laughed and then sobered. "They said you died with Fair and Sephiroth. Where have you been all this time?"

Cloud choked as his nerves screamed that his cover was blown and he needed to run. Fishing for a reply, he went with a modified version of the truth."The mission went south. There was an accident at the reactor. I got over-exposed to mako and spent most of the last few years semi-conscious and under observation."

"Oh," the man breathed and grimaced. "That's a heck of a way to get your mako injections. I guess that explains why you have mako-eyes and wore that SOLDIER uniform." He shook his head ruefully. "I thought you were some newbie who found one somewhere and was dressing up to get out of duty. So why haven't you contacted me since you recovered?"

Cloud shrugged nervously, struggling to place who the man was. He obviously knew Cloud, but it seemed his identity was lost to the mako poisoning. The man tilted his head in confusion at the unresponsive blond. "You're... kinda quiet Cloud. What's wrong?"

Cloud's shoulders slumped, he didn't know enough about the man to bluff his way out. At this point, the truth was probably safer. He scratched the back of his neck, looked down and then back up nervously. "Remember how I mentioned a mako accident?"

The man nodded slowly, then his eyes widened and he swore. "You lost some memories? I heard a couple of thirds mention one of their buddies forgetting his own name for a while."

"Yeah, sorry." Cloud's hands tightened around his rifle.

"Well damn," the crimson-clad man brushed his shoulder length brown hair back and scratched his chin. The action revealed a strange scar shaped a bit like half of a heart.

With what felt like a shock through his brain, a memory slid into place. "Greg Half-Heart," Cloud whispered, suddenly remembering the man and his nickname. He and Cloud applied for SOLDIER together several years ago. Clutching is throbbing temple he spoke up, "I remember now, you're Greg 'Half-Heart' Miller."

Greg blinked and then moaned, palming his face. "Damn it Cloud, of all the things you remember, it had to be that nickname!" He laughed again and then shook his head. "Anyway, sorry I forced you to change clothes. I guess my sub-conscious was stuck on you being in that uniform."

The blond shook his head and chuckled, "That's alright, I was a little distracted when you found me... and I really _did_ need the shower."

Sgt. Miller laughed and clapped Cloud on the shoulder. "I'm glad you're not mad. Anyway, it's about time they put you into SOLDIER! You didn't deserve to have your dream squashed just because you pissed off-" He froze in mid-gesture and shot Cloud a nervous look. "You... haven't seen who is in charge here, have you?"

Confused at the man's sudden anxiety, Cloud shook his head.

"Of course you haven't," Greg muttered and wrung his hands. "Are you assigned here, or just passing through?" He asked the last part in a hopeful tone.

Bemused at his old companion's sudden worry, Cloud replied, "I only came here to hitch a ride to the other continent."

Greg sighed, and a faint smile twitched at the corners of his mouth. "Tell you what Cloud, stay in this uniform and I'll put you in the group performing for President Shinra. You'll be on the first ship to Costa del Sol."

Cloud folded his arms and leaned back on his heels. "Why are you worried about me staying?" he asked, voice thick with suspicion.

The other man sighed and then he shook his head in defeat. "Cloud, SOLDIER 2nd Cory Ferguson is the senior officer in Junon. Ever since you embarrassed him, he's been out for your blood. He even tried to hold a party when he heard you were dead." Greg bit his lip, and turned pleading hazel eyes on disguised young man. "Junon may not be beautiful, but I don't want it to get caught in the fallout if he finds out you're not only alive, but _here_."

Cloud adjusted his scarf with a sigh. He wouldn't have any trouble taking Ferguson down _now_, but as Sgt. Miller feared, battles between SOLDIERs were messy. There was a contraband recording of the original three SOLDIER Firsts fighting each other. Ironically enough, they fought their duel in a simulation of Junon. Most of the military had seen it despite it being classified.

Cloud grimaced, remembering the destruction in the hologram room. No wonder the man was worried. "Alright, I'll do it."

Greg grinned in relief and pulled out a whistle. He blew two short blasts and a pair of infantry men jogged in. "Wilkes, Cowley, teach Strife here what he needs to do for the parade."

"Wait, what parade?" Cloud's eyes widened behind his goggles.

"Participation in the parade is mandatory," Wilkes said with a shrug.

"Why not go directly to the docks?" Cloud asked, shifting his neck scarf higher over his face. He had missed the expression-masking material, perhaps he could "forget" to return it when he changed back.

"If we aren't in the parade, we might get drafted for other duties," Cowley answered with a shake of his head, "and there's a busted sewer main in the eastern block."

Cloud paled, and he wasn't the only one to shudder. Before he could say any more, another blue-clad man popped his head in and said, "The President's here, we need to go!"

"Sorry Cloud, I guess you're just going to have to fake it, we need to hurry," Greg ordered and led the others from the locker room.

"Darn," Cowley muttered, "I was looking forward to singing the President's song." He hurried out the door and missed Wilkes' whispered prayer of thanks.

They dashed from the barracks to one of the broad streets of Upper Junon. The city was built in a staircase pattern; one side of the street was lined with multistory buildings leaving the other side open to view the ocean.

A scowling old man with a deck brush attacked the piles of confetti in the empty street. For half a moment, Cloud clung to the hope that Greg would forgo the parade. Unfortunately, Wilkes spoke up, dashing his fragile optimism. "Quick, I know a short cut!"

Dread weighed down his footsteps as Cloud followed a twisting alleyway and a grimy metal staircase to a different tier of the city. Judging by the crowd noise, they somehow managed to catch up to the parade. The four men huddled at the mouth of the alleyway and watched rank after rank of troops pass.

Greg sent Wilkes and Cowley into the parade and then turned to Cloud. He winced at the blond's pale face and patted him on the shoulder. "Just do your best Cloud."

(break)

Before Cloud could vanish to soothe his bruised feet and ego, Wilkes and Cowley grabbed his arms and took him to another gathering of soldiers. They assembled on the road near a rail car draped with a crimson "Rufus" banner. Cowley handed him a grenade with a grin. "Compliments of the broadcasting company," he snickered.

The blond scowled and glared up at the grinning duo.

"Aw, don't make that face." Wilkes patted Cloud's shoulder. "It could be worse. Rumor has it that one poor guy ended up with chew-toy squeakers glued to the soles of his boots before a parade march in front of the late General."

Cloud flinched as another fragment of memory snapped into place. The forgotten humiliation burned through him as Greg made frantic throat-slashing motions to the suddenly abashed Wilkes.

"Er, um... Sorry," he stammered, averting his gaze. "I didn't mean to bring up-" The young man's apology cut off as Cloud's cold laughter rang across the street. The other waiting infantrymen stopped talking and turned to gape as his laughter grew louder and a touch insane.

He stopped abruptly and stepped into Wilkes' personal space, the brims of their hats touching. "I have to thank you; you've reminded me of some _revenge_ I still need to serve." He bared his teeth in a vicious grin.

"No problem," the trembling young man squeaked.

Cloud muttered darkly to himself, concocting plots for vengeance against a certain surviving SOLDIER First. The other men backed away slowly, shivering at his evil aura.

Cowley whimpered and shot a pleading look to Sgt. Miller. The red-clad superior shook his head. "It's alright. You don't need to warn Cloud about Heidegger. Even that idiot has enough survival instincts that to avoid messing with someone putting off _that_ much killer-intent."

(break)

"What did I ever do to deserve this?" Yuffie whimpered. She hugged her knees tight to her chest and rocked back and forth. "The White Rose of Wutai has fallen far to sit in the belly of a death-trap wearing the garb of her enemies..."

Tifa rolled her eyes at the girl's dramatic tone and tugged at the navy top of her uniform. "At least yours fits," she muttered bitterly, turning away from Zack and Barret's attempt to help Red walk on his hind legs. Only Zack wore his head-gear since it took an hour and dozens of bobby pins to get it in place.

The sailor suit-clad ninja snorted, pout still firmly in place, and pulled out her PHS. She clicked a few keys and sat up straight. "Hey, you didn't delete them!"

Tifa raised an eyebrow, and then realizing Yuffie wasn't looking at her asked, "What?" She leaned over the girl's shoulder and saw a picture of Cloud arcing out of the water amidst crystalline drops from the ocean.

"Oh, those." Tifa shook her head. "No, I just sent copies to my PHS."

"Oh _really_?" Yuffie hummed, her mouth stretching into a wide grin.

The brunette blushed and ducked her chin behind her yellow neck scarf. A part of her suddenly understood the origin of Cloud's habit.

Zack yelped as Red overbalanced and knocked him over. Barret's laugh boomed in the ship's cargo hold.

"He's getting better," Yuffie mused dully. She looked back at her PHS and clicked through a few more pictures. Tifa watched over the girl's shoulder. Most of the shots were of Cloud and Zack.

"Why did you take so many pictures of those two?" Tifa asked.

Yuffie grinned up at the older girl. "I heard about Priscilla's crazy club. Do you know how much I can get for these babies?" Unbidden, Tifa remembered the pair of strange security guards back at the Shinra Headquarters.

"Don't you think it is a little presumptuous to make money off pictures of our boyfriends?" Aerith asked from Yuffie's other side as she snatched the girl's phone.

"I'll let you guys have copies?" Yuffie offered, her eyes wide and pleading. When their postures didn't soften she offered, "-and a cut of the profit?"

Aerith jerked her head to Tifa and the two walked out of Yuffie's earshot. Aerith clicked through the photos. "She's really good," the Ancient admitted.

After a short but heated discussion, Tifa and Aerith returned to the young ninja's side. Tifa folded her arms, unconsciously mimicking Cloud's thinking-pose. "Here's the deal," she said. "We get the originals and the right to keep certain photos back, plus fifteen percent of the sales _each_."

Yuffie's jaw dropped in horror.

"Before you call that robbery," Aerith held up a hand. "Consider this; we're only taking thirty percent and keeping a scarcity which will keep prices high."

Tifa watched Yuffie reluctantly nod, and shifted her weight to one leg. The pose looked rather odd in the infantry uniform. "Considering we're letting you share photos of _our_ boyfriends, you should accept our terms."

The younger girl pouted and Aerith shrugged. "If you don't accept our terms... Tifa?" She lobbed Yuffie's PHS to the other young woman. Tifa plucked it out of the air with her right hand. She held the phone to Yuffie's face and slowly squeezed. The plastic casing creaked in protest.

"I accept, I accept!" Yuffie hissed frantically.

"Do you swear on your honor as a Wutaian?" Aerith pressed, green eyes narrowed.

The young ninja cursed Cloud under her breath and made the oath. Tifa tossed the phone back to Aerith to copy and delete the photos.

"You did it!" Zack crowed. They turned to see Red XIII finally manage to take half-dancing, wobbly steps between him and Barret. Slowly gaining confidence, the leonine beast "walked" around the cargo hold.

"He looks pretty good," Zack confided to the girls, watching his results proudly. The faster Red walked, the more he emphasized the dancing motion.

"He looks like he needs to pee," Yuffie stated bluntly, still fuming over being bullied into agreeing with their terms.

Aerith clapped a hand over the girl's mouth. "I hear there will be a synchronized salute for Rufus near the loading area, why don't we go watch?"

"Good idea," Tifa said. She casually batted down Yuffie's flailing arms and led the way.

(break)

Sweat beaded under his goggles as Cloud stood in the sun with Wilkes and Cowley. His boiling anger had cooled slightly, but plans to achieve equally mortifying revenge on Zack still flickered across his mind. Something flashed in the ship's cargo bay. _Was that... Tifa?_ He blinked his eyes a few times, but she was gone. A moment later, Aerith's head popped over a stack of boxes. A small knot of tension loosened at the base of his skull. Somehow the others managed to board the ship.

He wasn't sure what he would have done if they hadn't made it. While they might all laugh about it later, he didn't think Tifa would appreciate a "wish you were here" postcard from Costa del Sol.

His relief then turned to confusion. How _did_ they get on the ship? Greg called the trio to attention for the rifle salute and he set the thought aside.

Cloud tried to perform well, he really did... but when what looked like Yuffie in a white sailor uniform brandished her boomerang towards Rufus Shinra's back, he faltered. It took him a moment to catch up with the others. Tifa and Aerith in infantry uniforms dragged the ninja back behind the stacked cargo. Thankfully, Rufus and Heidegger didn't notice them.

Determined to finish the drill, Cloud shifted his attention away from the cargo hold. Rufus Shinra's face was the picture of ill-disguised boredom. A condescending expression lurked in the President's ice-blue eyes and a faint smirk twitched at the corner of his mouth when Cloud missed a cue or reacted too slowly.

Cloud wasn't sure if Greg was a little off in the head, or having fun at his expense. What was the point of performing rifle salutes facing _away_ from the president? A few commands later and Greg rotated them back to face Rufus and Heidegger. Yuffie, Tifa, and Aerith were nowhere in sight, but Red XIII's feathered headdress poked over the loading ramp's gear casing.

The instant Greg signaled to execute the salute's finish, Cloud gritted his teeth. Perhaps suggesting a finishing move so similar to his signature victory pose _wasn't_ such a bright idea. The blond's perception sped up in a strange parody of battle awareness. His rifle spun smoothly in his hands. For just a moment, Rufus' eyes locked on him, and the hidden smirk turned into a toothy grin. The expression vanished just as they rested their guns against their shoulders.

'_He knows who I am_,' Cloud thought. The cool tingle of adrenaline coursed through his veins as Rufus whispered something to Heidegger. The bearded man strode to Cloud, an insincere smile on his face.

"You pleased President Rufus with your performance. Here is a token of his generosity." He handed Cloud a small box. With a quick glance, he recognized it as one of the precursors to the SOLDIER bottomless-bags. The boxes only held one item, but helped dignitaries award heavier gifts than they could normally carry.

Heidegger's laughter boomed across the dock at Cloud's apparent confusion. Obviously he didn't realize Cloud was the terrifying trooper he feared earlier. He also seemed to have forgotten Rufus' warning as the young CEO shot him a disgusted look. "I thought I told you to stop releasing that horse laugh."

The burly man choked off mid-laugh and his bushy eyebrows lowered over his steel-gray eyes. The ship's departure whistle sounded. Rufus shot another smirk at Cloud before taking a parting shot at the Head of Public Safety. "If you forget again, I'll send some men to line the floor of your cabin with straw." Rufus arrogantly ran his hand through his hair, his cold laughter trailing him into the ship.

Heidegger's eyes locked on Cloud, the "nobody" who Rufus just rewarded. Fists clenching and unclenching, he advanced on the smaller man. Cloud took a step back, instinctively slipping into a stance more suited for battle.

The whistle sounded again and the green uniformed man shot Cloud one last angry glance before rushing to follow Rufus on board. Greg sighed and clapped Cloud on the shoulder. "It was good seeing you again Cloud. Take care on the other continent. I'm sure if you keep your head down, you won't be discovered."

"I've already blown my cover," Cloud muttered darkly. "Rufus recognized my finishing move."

Greg pulled off his crimson dress helm and ran his fingers through his sweaty hair. "Are you sure?"

Cloud opened the single-use box and pulled out a Force Stealer. Sunlight gleamed on the bluish-red flat and its irregular, silver edges.

"Oh," Greg said. He pulled his helm back on, brows crumpled with confusion. "Why is he letting you board then?"

Behind them, Wilkes and Cowley gossiped about a black clothed man spotted in Junon. Cloud jerked his thumb over his shoulder at the pair. "My friends and I are chasing the person they are talking about. Rufus probably hopes we'll finish each other off."

Greg hummed in understanding, then he leaned closer and asked, "Is it really Sephiroth?"

"He looked like him," Cloud answered, stowing the sword into his item pouch. "But he's done some out of character things-"

"Out of character? Like what?" Greg interrupted, quirking a single eyebrow in disbelief.

Cloud frowned, and then tugged on his neck scarf. "Well, not only did he leave Masamune behind _twice_ now, he also gives monologues."

The sergeant's eyes widened. Sephiroth's silent, stoic nature was near legendary. "Whoa, that _is_ weird."

Cloud nodded, "So Zack and I are hoping to interrogate him when we catch up."

"Fair is with you too?" Greg hissed in wonder and then shook his head. "I shouldn't be surprised _both_ of you came back from the dead. You always did seem to get in and out of trouble together."

"Most of those weren't my fault," Cloud muttered, a faint scowl darkening his expression.

"Wait, so you were behind _some_ of them?" Greg's eyes gleamed with mischief.

"Oh, I'd better get going," the blond hummed a little too quickly to be casual. He dashed up the boarding ramp and disappeared among the cargo.

Greg shook his head with a small laugh. "Guess I could always ask Kunsel..."

(break)

The first day of the voyage went quietly. Red and the girls had long since retrieved their hats and helms. Most of the group fit into their roles with a minimum of fuss. Yuffie however...

The red and white-clad bosun scowled as the ninja in the sailor suit narrowly missed vomiting on his polished white shoes. "You!" He jabbed a finger at Cloud. "Take this wet rag below deck with a bucket before she pukes on one of the Shinra big-shots."

Cloud sighed and slung Yuffie's right arm over his shoulder.

"I've seen better sea-legs on a snake," the man muttered as they passed.

"Snakes don't have legs," Yuffie protested faintly as he led her down the stairs.

"That's his point Yuffie," Cloud sighed, bracing the girl against a pallet of cargo. Her head rested against the box and she gazed dully at the orb of pale blue materia wedged between the boxes and far out of her reach. For some reason, staring at the crystal helped the Wutaian more than fresh air.

"Cloud, can I have a tranquilizer?" she asked in a faint voice.

Cloud frowned and crouched at her side. Her head lolled weakly with the rocking of the ship over the waves. Her grayish face was tinged a faint green and she closed her eyes in pain.

"Alright," he sighed, digging the medicine out of his pouch. "But let me get someone to watch over you since it will knock you out for a while."

"I'll watch her," Aerith offered from behind him.

Cloud hid a frown behind his neck scarf at the uniformed Ancient. A small part of him screamed "sacrilege" at her being out of a dress. Shaking off his discomfort, he patted Yuffie's shoulder and stood. Aerith took the medicine from him and slipped into his position at the girl's side.

"I'm going to check on the others," he said quietly and left. He weaved between soldiers and sailors performing duty below the deck. An idle part of his mind wondered how many of these people were actually qualified to wear their uniforms.

Tifa was the easiest to find. She tried her best, but she was too well-endowed to make a convincing male army member. She stood high on a look-out platform, constantly peering out to sea. She relied on the movement and distance to maintain her disguise.

"Tifa," Cloud called softly so no crew members passing below would hear him.

"Cloud." She stopped moving and saluted him. She giggled and said, "It is kind of funny, Zack's actually not annoyed about cleaning up after Yuffie."

She pointed down to an abnormally tall sailor mopping up the girl's vomit. Cloud faintly heard the man whistling a sea shanty in between mock growling about "swabbing the deck".

Cloud snorted back a laugh. "I think Zack would be happy dressing up as a waitress."

"Maybe _he_ should have saved me from Don Corneo," Tifa hummed in a teasing voice.

Cloud shuddered, "Can you imagine him in a dress?"

Tifa giggled, "Too bad you tore yours up, we could have given him a chance."

"He _does_ look good in purple," Cloud mused, stroking his chin under his scarf. "It really brings out his eyes." They both shook with laughter. When he calmed slightly, he nodded his head to her and climbed down to check on the object of their conversation.

Weaving past the stained, yellow wet-floor signs, Cloud carefully crossed the damp deck to Zack's side and called, "Zack."

"Arrr, has the scurvy got to your eyes ya' landlubber?" he growled in a cliché rendition of a pirate's voice. "Didn't ya' see the signs?"

"We haven't been at sea long enough for me to get scurvy Zack," Cloud sighed, rolling his eyes despite the fact that Zack couldn't see them. It seemed the man sensed it though, as he scowled down at him.

Still using his pirate growl, Zack muttered, "No one likes a know-it-all, matey." Then he stuck his tongue out at the blond.

Smirking, Cloud snarled back, "Pull your slop-sucker back in sea dog, or I'll take it for a trophy!"

Zack slurped is tongue back in and then shook his head, grinning. "How's the little puke factory?" he asked in his normal voice. He gave the deck another pass with his mop before plopping it in a gray roller-bucket.

"I gave her a tranquilizer and left Aerith watching her." Cloud scratched his left elbow and grimaced. "It will wear off pretty fast, but hopefully she'll sleep until we make it to port."

Zack sighed and poked a finger under the brim of his cap in a vain attempt to relieve his own itch. Only a liberal use of hairpins kept the white hat over his spiky mess of hair so he had to scratch carefully.

Cloud clapped his friend's left shoulder as he stepped past him and said, "I'm going to check on Red and Barret."

"I think they're further up," Zack replied, waving a hand towards the bow of the ship.

"Right." Cloud nodded and tread carefully until he left the wet portion of the deck. Near mid-ship, he spied a soldier using Red XIII's... distinctive stride. Before he could approach, a pair of elderly women stopped him.

Since the ship doubled as a ferry between the continents, there were a few legitimate paying passengers aboard. They mainly consisted of the elderly and infirm who were well-off enough to afford passage but not physically able to travel the "cheap" way. Most of these normal passengers stayed in their cabins, but the two women enjoyed the cool sea air.

"Young man," the taller woman with wispy lavender hair called. "Are you on your way to trade shifts with that young man on the mid-deck?" She waved a frail hand in Red's direction.

"I'm afraid not, ma'am," Cloud replied, shaking his head. "I'm only making my rounds."

"Oh dear," the short, plump woman tutted. "The poor boy seems rather desperate. Do you think it would help if we talked to his commanding officer, Edith?"

"Perhaps, Martha, but it will likely bring him trouble," Edith remarked sadly.

"Sorry to bother you dear," Martha sighed, patting Cloud on his arm.

Cloud tipped his helmet politely to the flattered pair and climbed the steps to the mid-deck watch post. Red XIII's skeletal structure was not made to walk on his hind legs. Adding clothing and heavy combat boots only made the task more difficult and awkward. The blond mentally admitted that the resulting walk _did_ look like he desperately needed to use the restroom.

"Hey Red," Cloud greeted.

Red danced up to him. "Hello Cloud." The neck scarf pulled up to disguise his furred muzzle muffled his voice. "I will be most pleased when we leave this ship. This stride is most uncomfortable. Although," he conceded with a convincing shrug, "I think I make a passable human."

He turned back to his duty and Cloud bit back a sigh. Red's tail swung free, having wriggled out of his jacket. Scratching the back of his neck, he stepped away from the leonine's post and headed for the command room.

A headache bloomed behind his eyes when he found Barret. The burly man in the extra-large, white sailor uniform blatantly peered through the window at Rufus and Heidegger. "Barret!" Cloud hissed. "You're supposed to be blending in!"

"Look Cloud, it's Rufus and Heidegger," he growled, scowling into the control room's window. "They're so close and..."

He scowled down at his Atomic Scissors. In a small twist of irony, the weapon resembled an oddly shaped, oversized hook. To Cloud's relief it had only caused Barret a few strange looks from the passengers and crew. Yet, as the man discovered in his battle against Bottomswell, it was useless for distance attacks.

"Gimme my Assault Gun back for a minute," Barret muttered as he watched Heidegger pace around Rufus Shinra.

Cloud shook his head sharply. "No Barret, you know we'll never make it across the ocean if we make a scene here. Let's just leave and get you back to your duties." Cloud slapped the larger man on his back. "That should to get your mind off of them."

Barret snarled, a mutinous expression on his face. He reached for Cloud's pouch to get the gun himself. As the cursing blond fought him off, a siren blared and a man's voice came over the intercom, "Emergency alert! There are reports of a suspicious person aboard. Civilians, please return to your cabins. All available crew members search the ship!"

The men froze, Cloud held his pouch stretched out of Barret's reach. Barret grimaced around the gloved hand pushing against his face and spat Cloud's thumb out of his mouth. They pulled away and exchanged horrified looks.

"Damn, did they find us?" Barret swore, rolling his jaw gingerly and looking around for his accusers. A few soldiers ran from the bow and towards the cargo area. The dark-skinned man blinked dumbly. "Hey, that don't seem like us..."

Cloud swiftly put his pouch back in place and whipped around towards mid-deck. "Damn it, maybe someone noticed Red!" he shouted, dashing back to the feline's post. Barret followed close behind. Despite adrenaline and fear for their friend, they stopped at the narrow section of the walkway to avoid trampling some passengers. Edith and Martha blocked the way, staring back to the stern of the ship.

"Oh dear," Martha gasped, clutching her periwinkle cardigan closer around her shoulders. "That poor dear, he was in such a hurry he ran on all fours!"

Edith patted the shorter woman on the shoulder as they slowly started walking again. "Well, one of my nephews refers to it as 'the call of nature,' maybe it is more literal for some people."

The pair laughed at her little joke and finally reached a section of the passage wide enough for Cloud and Barret to squeeze past them. Despite their fear for the others, Barret caught Cloud's eye and they snickered.

They were the last ones to reach the party's designated meeting spot so Cloud quickly counted heads. Green-faced Yuffie cradled a bucket in one arm and leaned heavily on Aerith. Extremely tall Zack with his too short pants hovered worriedly over the pair. Tifa folded her arms over her ill-fitting top and Red XIII sat on his haunches at her feet.

From the way the others moved their heads, Cloud knew they were wondering the same thing. "If we're all here..." Tifa started.

"Then who is the suspicious person?" Aerith finished, she hitched the limp girl higher on her shoulder.

"Sephiroth?" Cloud suggested.

"Probably," Zack agreed, nodding once. Yuffie's eyes widened and she paled even more.

"Let's go," Cloud ordered, waving a hand toward the cargo bay's access stairs.

"Hold it!" Tifa held up her hand, palm extended. "If we're going to fight Sephiroth, I want to change into clothes I can fight in."

A few murmurs of agreement rose, even a weak one from Yuffie. Cloud folded his arms and thought. There was a time for haste, but mobility was important too.

"Not to sure how well I'd fight if I split my pants," Zack admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.

Cloud rolled his eyes and sighed, "All right, but let's make it quick. We don't want him getting away." He peered across the deck and led the party toward the crew's quarters.

"What's he gonna do, ride off on a dolphin?" Barret scoffed as he followed.

"Supposedly you guys did," Cloud pointed out, removing his helmet and shooting them a skeptical look.

"O-of course we did," Zack stammered. He yanked the sailor's hat off his head and bobby pins flew in all directions. He scratched his scalp, sighing lustily. A few more pins fell and pinged off the metal deck.

"Ah, but Sephiroth couldn't get a ride from a dolphin, he doesn't have a dolphin whistle!" Aerith exclaimed as they entered the hallway outside the locker and shower rooms.

"Neither did you," Cloud muttered and slipped into the locker room.

"Busted," Yuffie sing-songed and then gagged into her bucket.

(break)

Comfortably attired in their original clothing, Zack, Cloud, and Barret stepped out of the changing room. A wail rose from the female changing room. "I don't wanna go!" Yuffie whined. Her face was pale under its green tint as Tifa and Aerith dragged her out of the locker room.

At the males' confused looks, the barmaid grunted tugging on one of the squirming teen's arms, "Her tranquilizer wore off after changing. When she realized we are going to face Sephiroth she turned into this." Tifa frowned as their progress across the deck halted. The young Wutaian managed to cling to some pipes on the wall, wailing in fear.

Zack gave her a puzzled look. "You're okay wandering the wilds alone and _now_ you're scared?"

"Sephiroth is already a boogey man in Wutai," she whimpered, "and you said he died. I can't fight a _ghost_!"

Zack tugged on her shoulders and she shrieked, wrapping her legs around the pipe. He pulled a few times but she refused to budge.

"Now what?" Aerith huffed. She bent over to catch her breath after dragging the ninja from the changing room. Yuffie was small but very strong.

Red XIII rumbled, "Considering the urgency of our errand, prudence suggests-"

Zack interrupted with a whine, "Stop doing that! You didn't talk like that when we found you!"

Red shrugged his crimson-furred shoulders elegantly. Scowling down at the ninja imitating a barnacle, Zack missed the smirk flashing across Red's face.

Crouching, Cloud spoke to the whimpering girl, "We won't force you to come, but would you rather meet him alone, or with us?"

Her shoulders visibly stiffened and a shudder ran down her spine. She mutely pried her hands and legs off the pipe and huddled miserably between Tifa and Aerith. The party quickly descended into the belly of the ship. Tifa hissed through her teeth when she caught sight of the cargo hold. Splashes of crimson painted the walls and deck.

"Oh no!" Aerith moaned. She dashed down the steps and to the side of the closest crew-member. The infantryman gasped something about the intruder being in the engine room.

Cloud pulled handfuls of potions from his pouch and distributed them. "Go in groups, and search for survivors. If you need more potions or a phoenix down, let me know." Grim faced, they took the items and spread out.

Dozens of potions and a few phoenix downs later, the somber party gathered at the base of the stairs. Moans and faint shuffling filled the hold as the healed crew slowly regained consciousness. Cloud walked to the door of the engine room and ran his fingers along a straight slice in the metal. He waved Zack closer; they studied the marks a moment and then nodded.

The gouges sliced through the locks, so they pushed the door open and stepped into the room. Cloud's brows lowered at the further evidence of violence. Barret popped a cork from a potion and treated a sailor at the base of a ladder. A red-clad commander stood near a control panel and someone moaned from the catwalks above them. Tifa clamped a potion between her teeth and scampered up the ladder.

His instincts warning of danger, Cloud pulled out his Hardedge and shifted his materia around. He slotted his new summon and pocketed his Cover materia. Tifa slid down the ladder and whispered, "Looks like he got hit by some sort of shockwave. I think he'll be okay though. I gave him a potion and found a new weapon for Yuffie while I was up there."

Cloud took the Windslash and slipped it into his pouch. At Yuffie's noise of protest, he explained, "Just before a dangerous battle is _not_ the time to break in a new weapon. That's why I'm not using my new sword."

Her jaw snapped shut and after huffing once, she nodded. "Anyway, I'm glad you're not freaking out anymore," Cloud added.

The young ninja blinked and her gray eyes widened comically. She hunched her shoulders and darted worried looks to the shadowed rafters and piping lining the ceiling and walls. A high-pitched whimper rose from low in her throat.

"Smooth," Barret snorted, knuckling the abashed blond's spiky hair. He jutted his chin at the commander. "So why's that guy okay?" Scowling, Cloud broke free from Barret's grip.

"I'm not so sure he is," Zack muttered, putting a hand on the man's shoulder and turning him around. Without the console to hold him up, the man's knees buckled. Spotting the gash across the man's throat and he darker crimson stains on his uniform, Zack didn't even try to catch him. Seconds after he fell, he faded into the Lifestream and a chill breeze curled around their ankles

"...After a long sleep..." A man's monotone voice said. The sound echoed eerily in the metal chamber. Yuffie shrieked and crouched in place, her eyes darting wildly around while the voice continued.

"...the time..." the voice continued. Yuffie's whimpers grew shrill and her Boomerang rattled in her white-knuckled grip.

"...the time has come." The voice rang with a hint of triumph. The chill increased, and a jolt like a electricity ran through them.

"Cloud!" Barret hissed, pointing to the gore stained deck. A crown of silver hair emerged from the solid deck, followed by the black-clad form of Sephiroth.

Yuffie's drawn out scream set off a harmonic hum in a set of pipes near the door. "A GHOST! Sephiroth's ghost!"

Even Sephiroth winced at the sound and sent a scowl in the girl's direction.

Zack's jaw dropped and he stuttered, "Sephiroth, it's... really you. You're alive!"

"A ghost!" Yuffie wailed in the background, thrashing and clawing against Barret and Cloud's grip. Aerith stroked her back soothingly and Tifa awkwardly patted the girl's head. The young ninja shuddered and started babbling in Wutaian.

No sense of recognition showed in Sephiroth's slit, green eyes. "Who are you?" he asked, tilting his head slightly and raising one silver eyebrow. He seemed to look through his former subordinate rather than at him.

"It's me, Zack!" Zack patted his chest in punctuation.

Sephiroth's lips moved as if he was saying something, but Yuffie's frantic chanting and wailing rose to the point that she drowned him out entirely. Noting their blank looks, he tried again.

"What's that?" Zack bellowed, cupping his ear. "I can't hear you over Yuffie; you're going to have to talk louder!"

The distant look morphed into what Barret later titled a "To Hell with this!" expression. Sephiroth pitched a crimson orb into Yuffie's stomach. Her breath exploded out and her whiny tirade instantly cut off.

"The time is now..." Sephiroth hissed over the ninja's breathy gasps for air. He took to the air and knocked Zack down as he passed.

An eerie green light flickered and in his wake, a 20 foot tall, flesh-toned monster loomed over them.

"Aw damn it," Barret cursed down at the wheezing girl, "Ya had to piss him off, didn't ya?"

(break)

**Random Author's note:** Sorry it took so long. I won't give you any excuses (well if you ask I'll tell you, but it isn't anything too exciting.) Please take the time to review, they really motivate me and sometimes even trigger ideas for future chapters!


	12. My Kingdom for a Summon

_Many thanks to my beta Circle of Phoenix. Without her input, (and prodding) this chapter would have taken even longer and not been nearly as awesome. Secondary note after the chapter._

* * *

Chapter Twelve: My Kingdom for a Summon 

In the ferry's main cargo hold, freshly healed crew members cradled the phantom aches of their former injuries and moaned as they sat up and staggered to their feet. After the door of the engine room closed behind the party, a navy-clad infantryman clutched the arm of another guard and cried in a high, feminine voice, "O...M...G... Patricia! Did you see what I saw?"

The man shifted nervously. "S-sorry, I'm not Patricia," he stammered, a faint blush visible beneath his goggles.

"Oh, sorry." She released him and cried, "Patricia!"

"Over here Kelly!" called another girl dressed in cobalt. She leaned against a wooden crate near the port side of the hold.

Kelly scampered between recovering crew members to reach the other girl's side. "Did you see who just went in there?" she half-squealed, pointing to the damaged engine room door.

"No," Patricia answered distantly as she fingered her newly healed skin through a bloody gash in her uniform. "I know someone gave me a potion, but..."

"It was _them_!" Kelly gushed, leaning forward, holding her fists to her chin, and quivering in excitement. Despite the grim atmosphere, a nearby sailor snorted at the sight of a "Shinra trooper" holding such a pose.

"Them?" Patricia repeated blankly.

"You know!" Kelly turned the edge of her yellow scarf down and flashed a pair of pins. One was black with the letters BV in violet. The other was yellow with a white GI.

Patricia's scarf shifted as her jaw dropped. "No. Way."

"Yes way," a girl disguised as a sailor chimed in from behind Kelly. She pulled out a chain and revealed the pendant inlaid with rhinestones. It held the paired logos of Black Velvet and Golden Illusion. The pair gasped and straightened to attention.

Patricia stammered as she watched the woman tuck the necklace away, "If I might ask... what does an upper echelon member want with us?"

"Relax, I wasn't promoted that long ago. Just call me Vanessa." She waved a hand dismissively and then leaned in close. "To be honest though, I need your help. Cloud Strife and his party went to face an enemy in there, but they took off their disguises."

"Uh oh," Patricia moaned. "With all of the people in here, they won't have time to hide or change!"

"Exactly," Vanessa agreed, folding her arms and nodding. "The captain is really strict about the uniform policy with stowaways and Cloud's group doesn't have time for a prison stay. I need your help convincing the crew to keep them secret."

"Can I help?" a young sailor asked from behind Vanessa.

The women blinked and regarded at the young man questioningly. He put his hand over the large, crimson-edged gash across his stomach and said, "I was listening in and I want to help. Not only did they save my life just now, but I knew Cloud before I transferred to the navy. He and Zack didn't deserve what happened to them."

Kelly held back a gasp and bit her lower lip in shame. Sometimes, in light of their handsome features she forgot about their tragic pasts. By the abashed frown on her friend's lips, she knew Patricia felt the same guilt. Vanessa nodded and shook the sailor's hand. "Your help is welcome. Do you know of any others that feel the same?"

"Yeah," the man nodded. "Zack was really popular. If I remind Bosun Smythie about him, he'll smooth things over."

"Someone beat you to it lad," Bosun Smythie rumbled from behind the sailor. The grizzled man waved his PHS. "Old Gossip Queen already filled me in. I'll let them off the ship, but I've got a reputation to keep. So here's the plan..."

Vanessa slipped away from the plotting group and sent a quick text. "K- This is 49B, Smythie is in. K-247, P-64, W-839 and possible others assisting. Rescue Op SOS is a go." She pocketed her PHS and snickered. "Save Our Stowaways indeed."

* * *

Tifa finished a Waterkick leg sweep on Jenova BIRTH and dodged a burst of its tail laser. The others weren't fast enough and hissed or moaned as the blue light burned across their bodies and weakened their stances. Cloud scowled up at the monster and stroked the red materia in his Hardedge. Concentrating, he forced his energy into the crystal and learned its name: Shiva.

The reaction was instant. Rainbow toned orbs bearing strange runes rushed into his body while he felt a great pull on his mana. Cloud and his allies faded from view but somehow they could still see into the engine room. A pillar of light appeared and motes of crystal sparkled as they fell around it. Cloud's eyes widened as a blue-skinned woman drifted down the brilliant column and floated above the ground. She was beautiful in an inexplicable, alien way. A scarf of lavender silk covered her in a make-shift bikini, the long strips trailing behind her. Her long, aqua-toned topknot danced in a wind Cloud could not feel as she raised her right arm high above her head.

Like an obedient pet, the fallen crystals rose to orbit around the brilliant blue light in her palm. She proudly waved her arm to Jenova BIRTH. The crystal shards, infused with the blue light shot toward the monster, their edges gleaming. Jagged waves of ice crashed against their wailing foe and then shattered, sending up clouds of icy mist.

Cloud felt his body return and noticed the others' amazed expressions mirrored his own. Zack waggled his eyebrows and elbowed him in the ribs. "Pretty hot for an ice lady, eh?" His breath steamed in the suddenly very cool chamber. He missed Aerith's glare at his back. Cloud rolled his eyes and tightened his grip on his Hardedge, Jenova twitched but wasn't dead yet.

For the first time on the voyage, Yuffie showed some enthusiasm. "I wanna summon too!" she crowed, brandishing the crimson orb in her armlet. The same lights as before surrounded her and the party vanished into some "other-place".

Red XIII growled, "This is most disconcerting."

A far away rumbling filled the air and the power of the summon twisted and stretched the dimensions of the engine room. A dust cloud formed in the distance and as the noise drew closer, a strange sight met their eyes. A moogle wearing a headband rode a charging chocobo into the engine room. The duo collided with Jenova BIRTH with an explosion straight from a child's cartoon. When the smoke of the impact cleared, the chocobo picked the dazed moogle up by the scruff of its neck before fading away.

The monster flinched and shuddered before slowly, dissolving into red motes of light. In shock, no one moved, spoke, or even cheered for their victory. A vaguely arm-like tentacle twitched on the pile of gil and items Jenova BIRTH dropped.

A small shudder started in the base of Cloud's spine. Much as he wished he could deny it, he knew he had a strange affect on all things chocobo. He dared not imagine what would happen if he used a chocobo _summon_. A small part of his brain drawled in a snarky voice, '_What did you expect from a summon you got from a chocobo?_'

A quick glance to either side told him he wasn't the only one stunned at the spectacle. The corners of Yuffie's open mouth curled down in horrified dismay. Shrugging, Cloud knelt to inspect the twitching arm before it faded away. He shook his head and muttered, "Not only does Jenova turn an emotionless man like Sephiroth crazy, it takes the law of conservation of mass and flips it on its head."

"How does that differ from your bottomless bag?" Red XIII asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Hm, true," Cloud conceded, stealthily pocketing the gil and a new summon before Yuffie could see it. "What is this?" He picked up a bolt of silvery-white fabric and shook it out.

While the blond examined its length and texture, Red triggered his Sense materia and said, "It is a White Cape." Cloud didn't scowl at the obvious statement since he could sense the capitals in the feline's words. "It prevents mini and frog status."

An unholy light gleamed in Cloud's eyes. "Mine, _all_ mine," he cackled, twirling the cape dramatically over his shoulders. Aerith tapped him on the shoulder and he stopped laughing. Turning to face her he asked, "Yes?"

"Are you planning on keeping that ice summon?" she asked in a quiet voice.

"No," Cloud answered popping the materia from its slot and putting his Cover back in place. "I was thinking of giving it to one of you."

Zack perked up, a wide grin on his face.

"Can I have it then?" Aerith asked before Zack could.

"Sure." Cloud handed her the materia and then paused, fingers still wrapped around the sphere. Suspicious of her triumphant smile he asked, "Why do you want it anyway?"

"First of all, to keep it from being overused," she drawled, shooting her boyfriend a sharp look. Zack laughed and scratched the back of his head, averting his eyes. "Second, to help cheer up Yuffie." She pointed to the dejected young woman. Shaking his head, he released the materia and rocked back on his heels to watch, eyebrows raised.

The young ninja stared mournfully at the summon in her hands, her eyes watering. Aerith walked to the girl's side and stroked her cheek. "There, there," she soothed. "Cloud gave me the Shiva summon. With her, I think we can build your ice tower."

"Really?" Yuffie asked quietly, not quite raising her head.

"Yep!" Aerith chirped.

"We could even charge people to climb it," Tifa added trying to help.

Yuffie's eyes lit up at the sound of future profit. "And make snow-cones?"

"Of course," Zack laughed, mussing the girl's hair.

Chuckling at the display, Cloud slipped to Barret's side and handed him the new summon. "Here, take this since the Cover materia didn't work for you."

Barret eyed the orb narrowly and hissed, "This ain't another weird-ass chocobo one is it?"

"I only got _one_ summon from the chocobos," Cloud sighed, trying to stifle his exasperation. "This is the one Sephiroth threw at Yuffie."

Barret snorted and equipped the orb while the much happier Yuffie skipped to the engine room door. Once she reached it, she stiffened, suddenly remembering they were on a ship. She moaned pitifully and clutched her stomach. Zack scooped her bucket from the floor and tossed it to Aerith. She handed it to the rapidly paling girl and pulled the swaying ninja's arm around her shoulders once more.

Hearing a whimper from near the ladder, Cloud caught Zack and Barret's eyes and jerked his chin to the area. Zack scrambled up the ladder and helped the dazed Shinra grunt descend while Barret slung the shaking sailor's arm over his shoulder. The man's eyes were wide in shock and filled with an adoration that made Cloud squirm and fight the urge to look over his shoulder to see what sort of deity was lurking behind him.

With the monster slain and the survivors accounted for, Cloud pushed the door open and froze as several pairs of eyes locked on him. A hushed whisper rose from the gathered crew. The squint-eyed bosun spotted the familiar bucket in Yuffie's hands. "That explains a lot," he snorted, and then flicked his gaze to Zack's distinctive hair and SOLDIER attire, "and so does that."

"Why do I feel like I've been insulted?" Zack mumbled and shifted his grip on the cobalt-clad soldier. The man whimpered in discomfort, he was a lot shorter than Zack.

"There is no sting as bitter as gratuitous candor," Red quoted sagely.

Zack bit his lip, violet eyes flicking to Barret's resigned expression. Gritting his teeth, he fought down the urge to ask for a translation. Cloud shot Zack a worried look before turning his attention back to the assembled crowd.

"So what should we do with them?" an infantryman with a suspiciously high voice asked.

"They _did_ use their supplies to help us," a young sailor with a vivid crimson stain on his stomach remarked.

"I say we let it slide," the sailor leaning on Barret said quietly. "I saw the monster they just took out... It would have killed all of us." A low muttering rose from the crowd and Tifa slowly slid her feet into a firmer position.

"We're almost to port anyway," Bosun Smythie sighed. "Lay low and we'll let it slide this time."

With quiet murmurs of agreement, the crowd started to disperse. A few infantrymen and sailors took the feeble pair from Barret and Zack. The former First sighed with relief, "Whew, I thought we'd have to walk the plank."

At the base of the stairs, Smythie snarled in a much more authentic pirate growl, "No, but I'd not be adverse to makin' ye clean out the bilge pipes if ye get caught."

"Yes sir," Zack yelped, rubbing the back of his head.

* * *

The instant the cargo doors opened in Costa del Sol, Yuffie shot from the ship and kissed the gritty concrete of the port.

"Stop Yuffie, that's disgusting!" Aerith cried, pulling the girl up. "Tifa, come help-" Aerith stopped and her green eyes narrowed at the back of Zack's head. She followed his gaze to a bikini-clad woman sunbathing on the wing of a sea plane. The sun gleamed on her dark, oiled skin and deep black hair. She was the very image of an exotic temptress.

Aerith's lip curled up in a silent snarl. Dropping the ninja's arm, she stalked up to the man and in a falsely pleasant voice asked, "Zack, what are you doing?"

"Huh? Oh, trying to figure out what that guy is doing," he replied, pointing to a shirtless man hopping from the dock to the plane and back. Dock, plane, dock, plane; he didn't carry any supplies, he didn't talk to the woman on the plane, he just... jumped.

Jealousy fading, she joined Zack in his observation, a mirror expression of confusion on her face. The man took the trip three more times before she muttered, "How weird," and then pulled Zack into the city after their companions.

* * *

Back with the ship, Rufus and Heidegger strode onto the dock. A few white-clad sailors tied lines and called out directions for unloading passengers and cargo. Rufus' eyes caught the flicker of Aerith's pink dress and he smirked lightly before hardening his expression.

"Heidegger," his voice was like a cold razor. "While you are here, look into purchasing some fishing nets."

"Gyah ha ha!" Heidegger's laughter rang across the concrete loading pier, "Yes sir, and what shall I do with the nets?"

Rufus tilted his head back and drawled, "Take it as a model for your security plans, since it will have fewer holes."

"Wha-what?" the man stuttered, his bushy beard quivering.

"Not only was my father's murderer on board, but Strife and his comrades managed bypass your questionable security. I already warned you, I'll no longer tolerate such gross incompetence. Pull your act together or I'll hire the fishing net." Rufus pivoted on his heel, brushing a few loose strands of his strawberry-blond hair out of his face. He strode across the deck, his white over-coat flapping in the draft of the company helicopter idling on the helipad.

Reno's sea-green eyes glinted with humor as he closed the door behind his employer. He climbed into his seat and cranked up the throttle. "Kinda harsh boss," he shouted over the noise. "You already knew Cloud and his buddies were on the boat."

Rufus smirked and glanced out the window at the shrinking dock. "I know that, you know that, and even _Cloud_ knows that. It is hardly my fault Heidegger is unobservant as well as unreliable."

Reno cackled and asked, "So, we goin' to the villa?"

"No," Rufus spat, eyes narrowing in disgust. "My father's villa is not to my taste. Take me to my lodge and put the villa up for sale."

* * *

Heidegger scowled at the rising helicopter. Face red and fists clenched, he lunged at the two sailors working with some ropes at the edge of the dock. They yelped at the unexpected attack and fell into the bay. Still fuming, he dashed for the hopping man who paused his activities to watch the proceedings. As if all his jumping was preparing for this moment, he swiftly leaped out of the green-clad man's reach. Snarling, Heidegger stormed back aboard the ship.

The two young sailors climbed back on the deck, uniforms streaming water and clinging to their skin. "So much for a change of uniform protecting us," Wilkes muttered as he wrung out his hat and slapped it back on his sopping red curls.

"I don't know about you Wilkes, but I'm going shopping," Cowley snarled as he squeezed seawater from his low, black ponytail.

"What for?" Wilkes raised an eyebrow in confusion and paused in dumping water from his shoes.

"I'm going to get some fishing nets and straw," he replied. At Wilkes' confused noise, Cowley explained, "You heard the boss; straw for his floor since he laughed like a horse, and nets to decorate his walls."

Wilkes clapped his hand on his friend's shoulder and chuckled, "Sounds like a plan."

* * *

Cloud paused on the sand-colored arch of the bridge leading into the city. The hot, salty air tugged fitfully at his blond spikes. Music sounded from various corners of the tourist resort and he faintly heard the crashing of the surf. Most of the small towns they visited only had a small inn or private home. Yet here...he spied at least four signs for lodging on the first street and grimaced. "I need a volunteer to book us rooms at an inn that isn't too expensive."

"I'll do it," Barret volunteered and wiped his sweaty brow. "'S too damn hot."

"I will accompany you," Red XIII panted. "I concur, the atmosphere is detrimental to my physique. I also have an aversion to getting sand in my fur."

Cloud eyes flicked to Zack in time to spot his quickly hidden frown of frustration. He pulled out a stack of gil and handed them to Barret. "Send the details via PHS." He stepped to the side so the pair could pass and then turned to the rest of them. "As for the rest of us, we should check for information and restock our supplies for the next time we set out."

Yuffie tilted her head to the side asked, "Why do you think we'll have to leave again?"

Zack leaned against the low wall that served as a railing and snorted, "Despite what the commercials may say, if Costa del Sol was the Promised Land, Shinra would know by now."

Cloud snickered and then addressed the girls, "Zack and I are going for supplies, are any of you coming with us?"

Tifa shot Aerith and Yuffie a significant look and shook her head. "We have some business in town, so we'll meet you guys later."

Aerith grinned and linked arms with the other two girls. "To the photo store!" she declared with a cheer.

"I think a dozen is a good number to start with," Tifa mused as they walked away.

"Make at least thirty of the _good_ ones," Yuffie interjected. "After that we need directions to the Coral Pony."

Zack raised an eyebrow and watched the trio round a corner. He opened his mouth but stopped when Cloud raised a hand. "Don't ask. I have my guesses, but I have a horrible suspicion..." he trailed off and tapped out a quick text.

Zack frowned and then his glowing violet eyes widened in horror. "They aren't... You think they're going to meet up with the fan clubs?"

Cloud sent the text and nodded grimly, "That's what I'm afraid of. I just asked Kunsel if the Coral Pony was related to his organization."

"Do you think he'll answer?" Zack asked, swiping a trickle of sweat off his cheek.

"He'll answer," Cloud muttered jerking his head toward some shade and leading Zack into it. They both sighed in relief and he continued. "I'm just afraid of what he'll say."

As if on cue, his phone chimed with a message alert. Cloud read it, eyes widening and then he swayed slightly to lean heavily on the wall they sheltered beneath. He groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"What? What did he say?" Zack cried, plucking the PHS from the blond's limp hand.

He read aloud, "'Cloud, you really should stop asking questions you already know the answer to, but for the sake of Zack who is'- Hey!" Zack yelped, looking up. "How did he know I was going to read this?"

Cloud moaned and waved a limp hand, "That's not important right now, just finish reading."

Zack shot a suspicious glare at his friend but went back to the message, "'For the sake of Zack who is reading this; yes, the Coral Pony is a popular meeting hub for our branch in Costa del Sol. P.S. Zack, I'm sure you'll love what Cloud will realize from this.' What does _that_ mean?" he muttered, handing the device back to Cloud.

After slipping it back in his pouch, Cloud switched from pinching the bridge of his nose to rubbing his temples attempting to ward off a budding migraine. "Notice he said 'Costa del Sol branch'?"

Zack nodded.

"That means there's more than one 'branch' on this continent," Cloud sighed, pushing off the wall and crossing a small plaza in front of a large villa.

Zack grabbed the younger man's shoulder and hissed, "Cloud, that's the Shinra Villa, we are on the run from them which means _avoiding_ it!"

Cloud patted Zack's hand before brushing it off. "Kunsel told me Rufus hates the villa." He boldly crossed the area, opened the front door, and continued, "He also told me about some prototype items gathering dust in the basement."

Zack hesitated and then followed Cloud inside. He sighed deeply as the cool interior air hit the sweat on his skin. Then he shook his head sharply and grumbled, "This is pathetic, Gongaga is way hotter and more humid than this. I've gotten soft." Dismissing the thought, he followed his friend to the back of the building.

Hidden behind some artfully arranged potted plants and a wall, they found a dark, narrow staircase into the basement. In wild contrast to the bright and airy upper floors, the small room below hearkened back to the Midgar underbelly. A slender man with stringy black hair dozed at a small desk against one wall. The slick, black slime on the brick walls glistened in the ruddy light of his desk lamp. Cloud crouched by a chest and pulled out a Fire Ring.

The man snorted and turned around barking, "Ye-Yes sir?" Zack would later deny squeaking in shock at being caught, but the man merely shook his head and yawned, "Oh, those things. Meh take 'em, no one here has use for them and they're just taking up space in my lair- I mean in the villa." He cleared his throat sheepishly and then hunkered down to finish his nap. Shrugging, Cloud snatched the Power Source and Motor Drive and headed upstairs.

* * *

"Whiskey _what_?" Tifa screeched, eyes widened in shock. A couple of women drinking coffee at one of the Coral Pony's tables flinched at her outburst. They glanced over the trio and exchanged grins before returning to their drinks.

"'Whiskey Dreams'," Sasha repeated with a grin. "Don't be so surprised, it was only a matter of time before you gained a following." The dark-skinned woman tossed her thick black braid over her shoulder and placed one lavender and one canary pamphlet on the counter. Aerith lifted the lavender one and opened it. She skimmed a few lines, her green eyes growing wider and wider.

Tifa snatched the yellow booklet and flipped it open. She blinked at a glossy color photo of Cloud striking down a security bot. Tearing her eyes from the image, she flipped the page. From the bullying, to Nibelheim's fall, to the escape and trip to Midgar, the pamphlet exposed it all. Stunned, she lowered the booklet. While the usual fan "stats" were included, it read more like a history.

"What _is_ this?" Aerith asked, waving her brochure. "I thought this was a fan club."

"Oh we are," Veronica smiled, "but instead of admiring them for their talents or appearance, we admire them for the obstacles they overcame and the quest they've taken. Although their looks _are_ a bonus." She winked and grinned at the three young women.

Satisfied with their rising blushes, she flipped her hand palm up and continued, "That is where you come in. 'Whiskey Dreams' and 'Flower of Gaia' admire you ladies for supporting your men and joining in their cause."

Aerith and Tifa blinked dumbly. Yuffie snickered at their horrified expressions and Veronica looked her up and down.

"Hm, as for you..." The woman tapped a few keys on her computer. "You haven't been with Avalanche very long so your following is still organizing. They're voting on your fan name; Rose of Wutai is in the lead. Anyway, you ladies came here to sell me some pictures. Let's get down to business..." She bared her white teeth in sharp grin.

* * *

"Add a couple more Softs," Cloud advised as he sorted through the various wares of the item shop. "Apparently there are some monsters that petrify around here."

Zack rolled his eyes and threw the items in his basket. "You know I came this way before right? Dragging your mako-soggy butt while I was at it!"

Cloud rolled his eyes, and then his expression turned grim. "While we're on this topic, I think you should tell them Zack. I'm sure if you explained things, Red would stop teasing you like that."

"No way," Zack snapped, shaking his head sharply. "They don't need to know."

"Not even Aerith?" the blond pressed.

"If she knew, she'd tell them to stop, but she'd also explain why." Zack spread his arms, palms up. "I don't want it getting out that I'm-"

"_Damaged?_" Cloud hissed, his voice like a blade of ice. "That Hojo's work screwed with your head? That you no longer remember things you used to? Sound familiar?"

Zack winced. In light of Cloud's scrambled memories, the loss of higher-level vocabulary didn't seem as daunting a result.

Cloud snatched a dusty dictionary off the shelf and tossed it into their shopping basket. "Here, at least you can do something about your problem."

Zack grimaced but nodded. "Yeah, I suppose. Maybe you should start a journal or something to help you."

"I can't recover what I've forgotten, and I don't plan on swimming in mako ever again," Cloud muttered.

"You never know, our trip has hardly been normal," Zack snorted, swinging the basket on the counter and pulling out his 'bargaining face'.

* * *

"Yep, I've still got it," Zack preened once they left the last shop.

The corner of Cloud's mouth twitched up in a half-smile. "I never doubted you."

They emerged from the shaded lane into an open plaza between the seaside bar and the inn Barret booked rooms at. Red XIII curled in the shade of the bar's awning, lazily watching a boy and a girl kick a soccer ball. The boy missed the ball and Zack trapped it under his foot.

His glowing violet eyes sparkled with mischief and he kicked the ball. It shot past the small boy and bounced off the dozing lion-beast. Startled, Red leaped to his feet, snarling. "Oops," Zack called, a painfully fake look of innocence on his face as he trapped the ricocheted ball under his foot again. "Let me try again!"

"I'm not standing up for you when he rates your falls again," Cloud stated, shaking his head and walking past the older man.

"You didn't defend me before," Zack huffed, abandoning the ball and following the blond down the stairs to the shoreline. Despite the heat, the beach wasn't very crowded. A group of surfers chatted by the showers and a few families played in the sand and swam in the shallows.

"I planned to tell him to lay off you next time, but you deserve it now." Cloud shrugged and shuffled through the sand.

"Aw man." Zack's shoulders slumped, then he blinked, scowling down at his friend. "Wait, what do you mean '_next time_'? Why are you assuming I'm going to fall again? I-" Zack's rant cut off when he nearly collided with the halted blond.

Cloud shuddered and hunched his shoulders, looking for somewhere to hide. Frowning, Zack scanned the beach to determine the cause. A man in a full length lab coat sprawled in a deck chair not far ahead. Sunlight gleamed off his glasses and balding head. Three bikini-clad women surrounded him.

"H-Hojo?" Zack stuttered. "What is he doing here?"

Cloud narrowed his eyes at the despised man. Hojo tilted his tanning mirror, checking the image behind him. Their eyes met and Hojo's mouth twisted into a gloating smirk. The scientist _wanted_ them to approach.

"I'm not walking into that one," Cloud muttered, turning on his heel. With his back to them, he missed the matching expressions of shock on Hojo and Zack's faces.

"Wait, aren't we going to ask him about where Sephiroth went?" Zack asked, scrambling to catch up.

Cloud snorted in disgust. "Why bother? There aren't many directions to head from here."

"True," Zack conceded, dodging a toddler's over-enthusiastic scoop of sand. "But he might shed some light on Sephiroth's motives."

Cloud stopped and turned, raising an eyebrow at his friend. "How do you figure that?"

"Sephiroth was his 'masterpiece' maybe he has an idea of his ultimate goal." The former First scrubbed a hand through his sweaty hair, grimacing at the moisture on his fingers.

"We already know he's headed for the 'Promised Land'." Cloud shrugged and climbed the stairs back to the plaza. "Shinra doesn't know where that is, so Hojo doesn't know. If we talk to him, all we'll get is-"

"Some creepy, cryptic speech," Zack interrupted with a wince. "Yeah, I see your point. We might as well meet up with the others. I call dibs on the shower."

* * *

Hojo frowned as he watched the pair leave the beach. The brunette to his left lifted the corner of her beach towel and checked a small digital clock. "You've got ten more minutes 'Professor'. If you want an extension you need to pay another 10,000 gil."

He scowled and then flinched as the skin on his face felt a size too small. The red-head by his feet perked up. "For 3,000 gil, I'll put some cream on your sunburn."

The scientist growled, ignoring the girl. So much for flaunting his superiority with the self-proclaimed heroes. He'd have to find some other way to let his former test subjects know about the Reunion.

* * *

Tifa, Aerith, and Yuffie stepped out of the Coral Pony, dazed and blinking rapidly. "Let me know if you re-consider!" a Veronica called from inside before the door swung shut.

"I can't believe we're gaining a following too," Tifa whispered in shock. "How did this happen? 'Supporting our men' seems like such a...fake reason."

"Popularity by association?" Aerith proposed with a nervous laugh. "Perhaps some jealous boyfriends saw us in pictures and decided to follow us in retaliation."

Tifa snorted, gaze flicking to the street signs as she navigated back to the main plaza. "It's possible."

"So why do _I_ have a following?" Yuffie whined, looking up from her game of avoiding cracks in the cobble street. "I don't have a boyfriend with a fan-club and I've only been with you guys like a week!"

Aerith and Tifa exchanged a heavy look and then Tifa grimaced, "I have a feeling that is Kunsel's fault."

"Who is Kunsel?" Yuffie's asked bewildered, but she started walking again.

"Kunsel is Cloud's cousin. He's a master of information gathering and he started the fan clubs," Tifa explained.

Silence fell as Yuffie considered the information. They stepped out of the narrow streets into the wider roads of the markets. The setting sun dyed the cobbles and plaster walls a coral pink and their shadows stretched before them. The daytime vendors called for the last few sales as workers set up stalls and strung lights for the night market. When they finally reached the mosaic decorated plaza near the inn, Yuffie finally spoke, "So does Cloud's cousin have some sort of complex?"

Aerith choked on a laugh as she entered the inn. "I wouldn't say it exactly like-" She trailed off at the sight before her.

Cloud stared down at the PHS in his hand, face pale and a sheen of sweat on his brow. "I can't believe he managed to get my PHS number!" He moaned in a sickened voice.

"At least Kunsel said he can block him," Zack offered weakly, patting the younger man's shoulder.

"Cloud, what's wrong?" Tifa cried. She dashed to the blond's side and turned his gaze from the phone to her face. He shuddered and relaxed slightly, closing his eyes.

"We saw Hojo on the beach," Zack explained, pulling Aerith into his arms protectively. "Cloud decided it was pointless to talk to him and we left. Apparently, the Professor took offense and sent his cryptic message to Cloud's phone."

"Ick," Aerith shuddered and stuck out her tongue. "I'm sorry to hear that Cloud."

"Was the information relevant to our endeavor?" Red XIII asked from the couch.

"He said to go west," Cloud sighed, pocketing his PHS with a scowl. "But we already knew that. The rest of his message was... pointless."

Barret raised an eyebrow and asked, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Zack laughed weakly and scratched the back of his head. "Well, he hinted that Cloud might have some sort of _attraction_ for Seph."

Tifa's jaw dropped and Cloud elbowed Zack in the ribs. The man wheezed, whining pathetically at the blond. Ignoring him, Cloud snapped, "Crazy words from a mad scientist aside, we need to plan our travel route."

"Oh!" Yuffie bounced on the balls of her feet. "I've got a map and I travel through here all the time!"

She pulled a worn and stained map from her pouch and spread it on the pool table. "We're here." She pointed at the northeastern corner of the displayed continent. "Now there's a ferry across the Corel River, but with Shinra after us, we'd better take different way. Instead, we need to travel through the Corel pass and go through North Corel."

Barret flinched and averted his eyes.

Yuffie trailed her finger from the mountains and past a desert to a river. "Since it is the wrong time of year to cross on foot, we'll have to catch a ferry across the Buckle River."

She moved her hand south to a patch of jungle with a town mark in the center and tapped it. "We can resupply in Gongaga."

Zack winced and shuffled his feet nervously. Oblivious to Zack's reaction, Yuffie traced north on the map, swooping under the massive mountain range nearly bisecting the continent. "The same problem exists for Cosmo River. After we catch _that_ ferry, we can drop Red off at Cosmo Canyon."

The Wutaian's hand moved north, pausing on Nibelheim. Tifa paled, while Zack and Cloud grimaced. "We can use the Nibelheim pass and head up to Rocket Town. Now, last I was there, there was a strong Shinra presence-"

Zack, Cloud, Tifa, and Barret tuned her voice out and traded grim looks.

"This's gonna suck, isn't it?" Barret muttered.

* * *

Most of Costa del Sol still slumbered and the thick sea-mist still darkened the sky when they set out the next morning. Once she fully awakened, Yuffie gleefully led them along the weed choked cobbles of the old Corel Road. Several hours and Garangalans later, they reached the winding mountain road, and the variety of monsters increased.

Due to the narrow path through the mountains, the party found it most efficient to have only three members face the monsters. Cloud rotated the spearhead members out when they needed a rest, though he and Zack took the most turns. After a battle with a Bagndrana that Barret called the "dinosaur bug" due to its six limbs and segmented body, Tifa studied an object in her hand with interest. It sparkled and threw flashes of light as she inspected it. Shrugging, she called, "Hey Red, this is for you. It's a Diamond Pin."

"You have my gratitude," Red's deep voice rumbled. He sat placidly as she traded out his Mythril Clip and shifted his materia over.

"Aw man," Zack sighed. "I guess I'm the only one who doesn't have a new weapon."

Cloud rolled his eyes and pulled his Hardedge from his pouch. "I offered you the Hardedge when I switched to my Force Stealer this morning. _Now_ will you take it?" He brandished the rectangular blade in his friend's direction.

"But-" Zack started to protest, but Cloud cut him off.

"After all, I seem to remember you saying something about 'wear, tear, and rust.'" The blond raised an eyebrow and Zack snapped his mouth shut, brow furrowed in thought.

"...Right. Hand it over," Zack sighed. Popping his materia free, they traded blades. The older man stroked the Buster Sword's handle once before it vanished into Cloud's bottomless pouch.

Despite his initial whining, the more Zack used the Hardedge, the more he grew attached to its stronger attacks and extra materia slot. He sliced through two Search Crowns, the fanged fungus splattering the dusty ground and crowed, "Aw yeah, beat that Cloud!"

Cloud smirked and spun on his heel, neatly bisecting three monsters at once.

Zack whooped and slapped Cloud on the back. "I knew you could," he cheered. Cloud laughed and shook his head. The chuckling pair simultaneously stopped laughing and tilted their heads, listening. Red XIII tensed and leaped to their side as another group of fungus shuffled towards them.

Yuffie sidled up to Barret, keeping a watchful eye on the fighting trio. "I've been wondering, why isn't Zack the leader? He's charismatic and he seemed to be a pretty high rank before he vanished."

Barret grunted and scratched the stubble on his chin, "Yeah, I can see why you're confused. It's not somethin' we talk about a lot but... Ya see, Spike and Spikier spent a lotta' time pickling in mako. That did some whack things to their brains. Spike's memories are holier than a saint, and Spikier... well.."

He jerked his head back to the ending skirmish. Zack yelped and caught a small green fragment that came off his bracer. While Cloud scooped up the small pile of gil and Hi-Potions, Zack raised the item to the sky, eyes widening.

"Cloud!" He cried, voice a mixture of shock and joy. "Alfonse had a _baby_!"

Cloud froze and then slowly looked up to give his friend a baffled look. "What?" he asked flatly, mentally hoping he heard wrong.

"Alfonse had a baby," Zack repeated, thrusting the newborn materia under the blond's nose. "I didn't know Alfonse was a girl! This is awesome! What should we name it?"

Shaking his head, Cloud stowed the last of the treasure and rose from his crouch only to have the small orb thrust under his nose again. "Cloud, you will be the godfather. Take care of Alfonse Jr."

Not waiting for a response, the former SOLDIER took the blond's arm and put the Transform materia in an empty slot.

Barret snorted down at the slack-jawed ninja and waved his hand in Zack's direction.

"...right," Yuffie whispered, eyes wide.

* * *

**Author's note:** Thank you for your continued support and patience! This chapter kicked my rear, as it delayed the publishing of chapter eleven _and_ fought me every step of the way. (sigh) There is a scene I cut out that didn't quite fit. Would you be interested in a separate fic with the cut scenes and ideas that don't make it here? Let me know, reviews are love and inspiration! :D


	13. Shinra's Best Recruiter

_First of all, I love my reviewers, every one! If you have an FFN account I try to reply... Guests are loved but replies are harder..._

_One of my guests gave an awesome review with lots of questions... but they were a _guest _so I could not reply via PM. As you (Guest) surmised, answering all your questions *would* spoil the story, but yes, I have plans (rubs hands together in sinister manner). As for why Cloud didn't buy the villa... Unless I did some utterly insane grinding (or used cheat codes), by this point in the game I didn't have enough gil to buy the villa. Fear not, they will own the villa before the end of the story!_

_Secondly, (addressed to all) I wrote the opening scene before I refreshed my memory of how the area actually looked. Frankly the way I changed things makes more sense and is more amusing so don't kill me for twisting canon...er... more than I already have (grin)_

* * *

**Chapter 13: Shinra's Best Recruiter**

On the second day of travel through the Corel Mountains they finally reached the Corel Reactor. Barret glared down at the spindly building that perched across an old mining pit like an enormous metal spider. The old metal stairway zig-zagged down the side of the cliff to the web-like metal grating over the seemingly bottomless pit.

"Why are there tracks leading into the reactor?" Aerith asked as they skirted the building and reached the cart rails.

"They are the old tracks from the coal mine," Barret replied. He led them past a fork in the rails and through a small canyon. The other set of rails swooped and curved around and above the more sedate tracks they followed.

"What is up with those tracks?" Tifa asked, her brow furrowed with confusion.

"It does not seem the most efficient path for transporting coal," Red mused.

"It wasn't built for coal," Barret muttered. "About a decade ago, Danny Olero decided he was gonna build roller coasters. Lemme' tell ya', that guy was a piece work. He-" Barret's laugh cut off. The tracks reached a river crossing, but the raised bridge barred their way. "Aw damn," he cursed, slapping his forehead.

Zack scanned the bank of the river and asked, "Where's the gate house?"

"Over there," Barret muttered, pointing to a small structure on the other side of the deep water.

High above, the make-shift roller coaster's tracks crossed the rough waters. "It looks like that's the only way across," Tifa stated, shielding her eyes as she peered through the old wood supports to the rails above. A stiff breeze blew down the canyon and the structure groaned and swayed. One by one they turned to look at their blond leader.

Feeling the weight of several gazes, Cloud slowly turned from the river to meet their expectant gazes. He shook his head and sighed heavily. Before Zack could open his mouth, the blond started back up the tracks to a point where the rails crossed.

He paused at the junction and studied the old coaster track. Brushing his boot on a wooden support, he grimaced at the reddish, dusty clumps that broke off. The wood was rotting, fabulous. Planting his right foot on the rusty rail, he gingerly put his left foot on the crumbling wood. It squealed in protest and a dusting of wood chips rattled through the supports to the canyon floor.

Slowly, but with increasing speed and confidence, Cloud followed the ascending track. After a few dozen yards, he stopped using the rail entirely and jogged lightly across the dusty wooden beams.

Far below, Yuffie called up to him, waving her arms cheerily. Cloud stopped, waved once, and then blinked, looking down between his feet. There was something wedged in the struts several feet below. He squinted, trying to make it out. The boards under him squealed once more and then snapped.

* * *

Tifa yelped and her eyes went wide. Her gaze flicked through the warren of worn cross beams hunting for the falling blond. She finally spotted him when he snagged a beam and swung onto it.

Beside her, Aerith released a shaky breath and clutched Tifa's right shoulder tightly. "That was scary," she whispered. "I feel bad for making him go now."

"What's he doing?" Yuffie asked, frowning up at the man.

Cloud inched along the crumbling beam and then stretched his arm out to snag the weather-stained pouch. Once he had it firmly in hand, he scrambled down the supports to join the rest of the party. The moment his boots hit the lower track, he shook the pouch open and inspected the contents. A golden star amulet with soldered star-shaped accents fell into his palm.

"Huh, a Star Pendant. I wonder how that got up there?" He shrugged and pocketed it before jogging back to the rail junction, his White Cape flaring from his shoulders.

"Damn it," Zack muttered, crossing his arms and pouting. "I want treasure senses."

Barret rolled his eyes at the well-worn complaint but Yuffie perked up. "Say what now?"

* * *

It only took a few moments for Cloud to return to the broken section of the track. He easily hopped over the hole and continued along. A few yards later, he spotted the gleam of another item and froze in place, trying to plot a course down.

* * *

"-it's a really weird skill, but totally awesome," Zack finished explaining with an awed head shake. Aeris yelped behind them. "There he goes again," the former SOLDIER muttered, watching the blonde snatch something from another cross-beam.

"That is _so_ awesome!" Yuffie crowed, bouncing on her toes. "Do you think he will teach me?"

Zack snorted, "If he was teaching anyone, he'd teach me first."

A speculative light entered her eyes. "Won't share his secrets eh? I'll just have to watch and learn."

Cloud dropped among the party, opened the grayish pouch and peeked inside. His eyes widened and he pulled a six-foot Wizard Staff from the fist-sized bag. Barret's jaw dropped and he slapped his face, dragging the hand slowly down his cheek with a muffled curse. The blond shot him a commiserating half-smile and twirled the ruby-topped staff once.

"It isn't as strong as your current staff," Cloud told Aerith, inspecting the three single slots near the horned base. "Looks like it has double materia growth, but fewer slots."

"Ah, I'll stick with my current one," Aerith said with a shrug. "Might as well hang on to it for later though."

Cloud nodded, inserting it into his bottomless pouch like some stage magician. He froze, feeling an intense gaze on his back. He peered over his shoulder. Yuffie studied him intently attempting to mimic a scientist with a fascinating specimen, but ended up looking more like she was about to sneeze. Not bothering to ask, he shrugged and dashed back to make his third attempt to cross the rails.

Shortly after passing the two holes he grimaced and picked up a dusty Transform materia. He tossed it in his bag and walked on. A patch of track creaked under foot. For a moment, he tensed to jump to safety and then shrugged, letting himself fall.

* * *

"I can't watch any more!" Tifa moaned, covering her eyes. Moments later, Cloud swung safely down, his hair spikier than usual and his glowing, blue eyes crinkled with laughter.

"So what did you find this time?" Zack asked, folding his arms and quirking an eyebrow at the blond.

Cloud laughed and ruffled his hair back in place. "Nothing. That time was just for fun." He turned and dashed back to the track junction.

Zack gaped at his friend's back and Yuffie eyed the distance, stroking her chin. "Works for me!" She chirped. "I wanna try too!"

Barret snaked his arm around her waist, stopping her. "Oh no ya' don't!"

"But you let Cloud do it!" she whined, kicking at his shins with her heels.

"We didn't _let_ Cloud fall, he chose to," Tifa snarled, whirling on the girl, her whiskey colored eyes flashing.

"Remember young one, what a SOLDIER considers 'fun' may be deadly for the more mundane," Red murmured in a placating tone.

Yuffie stopped thrashing and gave him a blank look. She rolled her head back to look up at Barret.

He released her and grunted, "Unlike hair-for-brains over there," he jerked his thumb at Zack who stuck his tongue in response, "you ain't a native speaker so I'll forgive ya'. Short 'n simple: Shinra pumps SOLDIERs with all sorts of stuff that makes 'em hard to kill."

Yuffie nodded, and waited for him to continue.

He flicked his gaze to the top of the rails as the blond passed on his fourth attempt to cross. "Before we met you 'n Red, Cloud took a swan dive offa' the Midgar plate that made _that_ look like fallin' outta bed."

"Oh..." Yuffie blinked rapidly, and then her eyes widened. "Was that why you made him climb the girders to Upper Junon?"

"Pretty much," Barret confirmed with a shrug. "That 'n like Red told ya' SOLDIERs can take a harder beatin' than most of us."

Aerith turned from watching Cloud's progress over the river. She pursed her lips at the Wutaian and asked, "Why did _you_ think we sent him up?"

Yuffie shrugged and scratched the back of her right leg with her left foot. "I thought you picked him because he'd already survived electrocution."

Tifa wrenched her gaze from Cloud and gaped at the girl in horror. At the stunned silence and horrified looks from the others, Yuffie sheepishly laughed. "Um, I'm guessing that's not the reason for his hair then." Her brows drew together and she pointed up at Zack's spiky mess. "So he uses a ton of gel like this lug?"

"Hey!" Zack whined, "lay off my hair!"

"No," Tifa shook her head. "Cloud's hair is all natural."

Yuffie's jaw dropped the exact moment the bridge crashed down. Totally ignorant of the atmosphere, the object of their conversation trotted across the bridge to join them. Yuffie slowly turned to face him, her mouth closing and her eyes narrowing thoughtfully.

Arms held stiff behind her, she dashed to him and scrambled up his back. Cloud yelped as she sat on his shoulders and ran both hands through his hair. "What are you doing?" He cried weaving drunkenly on the uneven footing as he tried to regain his balance with her added weight.

"Wow!" she giggled, patting one of his spikes and gleefully watching it spring back in place. "It _is_ natural, and so soft too!" She buried her face in his hair and rubbed her cheeks against it.

Feet firmly planted, Cloud scowled and swiftly bent at the waist. The girl shrieked and pitched over his head. Before she suffered a painful landing on her back, Cloud caught her under her armpits, her legs swinging like a pendulum. The moment she caught her breath, she looked over her shoulder at him, eyes sparkling. "Can we do that again?"

"No," Cloud said flatly and dropped her. She landed in a crouch and spun on her heel to face him. The blond ran his hands through his mussed hair, returning it to its normal shape. "Let's move on," he muttered, rolling his eyes at Zack's amused expression.

About a quarter of a mile later, the rails from the defunct roller coaster crossed the tracks one last time and curved down into the river. Cloud paused at the crossing and looked up the hillside. Eyes widening at the action, Zack nudged Yuffie with his elbow. The blond flicked his gaze to Aerith and Tifa, then muttered, "Not worth it."

He pointed to the rails that entered the river and announced, "I'm going to look down there a moment, you guys wait here."

Zack waggled his eyebrows at Yuffie and she shot him a toothy grin. Once Cloud left their view, they scrambled up the crumbling concrete facing. A nest rested in a hollow between the natural cliff and the concrete. Four fuzzy chicks peeped ear-piercingly loud inside the nest.

"Where's the treasure?" the Ex-SOLDIER asked, wincing at the noise.

Yuffie's eyes widened and she pointed into the nest. "Look! Phoenix Downs!"

Aerith cooed over Zack's shoulder, "Awww, how cute!"

Tifa peered over Yuffie's shoulder at the chicks and then at the young Wutaian. "You aren't planning to steal from those chicks are you?" She frowned at the two would-be thieves.

Yuffie snorted and snatched up the glowing feathers, "Seriously? _You_ are lecturing _me_ on stealing from monsters?" She stared pointedly at the martial artist's Steal materia.

"They aren't monsters, they're babies!" Aerith protested.

A Cockatolis screeched above them and dove in for the attack.

* * *

Cloud followed the curve of the rails down the slope. The tracks disappeared into the deep, smoothly flowing water. Near the bank, a mine entrance dug into the hillside, completely invisible from above. Wary of possible monsters, Cloud lightly gripped the handle of his Force Stealer. The faint breeze off the river eddied in the entrance and brought the chemical scent of gasoline, oil, and black powder. He relaxed slightly. A gurgling belch and a man's drunken laughter sounded from the dark shaft. Grimacing, Cloud stepped inside.

An empty beer bottle skittered away at his inadvertent kick. The mine shaft only went in a few yards. A mouldering bulldozer filled the back wall of the round chamber. The chipped yellow paint was speckled with leprous blotches of rust. An overweight man sprawled across the splitting leather of its seat. A half-empty bottle dangled from his lax fingers. Thick stubble shadowed the man's pouchy cheeks.

He blinked blearily up at Cloud and then saluted with his raised bottle. It was a struggle to keep his "friendly smile" from turning into a sneer of disgust. Cloud scooped up a Power Source, Mind Source, and Tent from among the collection of empty bottles and held the bluish bottle up. "Do you mind if I take these?"

The man squinted, trying to focus his gaze on the object and then shrugged. "You a collector or something?" He snorted. "I s'pose I can spare it. One less person to trick."

"Trick?" Cloud narrowed his eyes at the man while tucking the items in his pouch.

The drunk laughed and slapped his thigh. "Ah it's great! I put notes in the bottles and throw 'em in the river. They wash out to sea and some poor sap'll run around try'in ta' find and save me!" He roared with more laughter.

"Er, right."

"'Course I don't give 'em my _real_ location," the man snorted wagging a thick finger, his eyes slightly crossed. "I give 'em the numbers offa Gertrude here and tell 'em that's where they need to go ta be a hero." He pointed to a string of numbers on the bulldozer. Without even consulting a map, the blond recognized the coordinates for Midgar.

A small part of him thought it would be a painful irony if Shinra's best recruiter was a drunk man pranking people. Another belch thundered through the cave. The drunk lurched to his feet and then uttered one of the most dangerous phrases Cloud ever encountered: "Hey, ya' wanna see sumthin' neat?"

Instincts suddenly on high alert, Cloud's eyes widened as the sloshed man pulled out a lighter and weaved towards a crate of blasting caps. The blond plastered a strained smile on his face and demurred, "I'd love to, but I'm afraid I have another commitment." He whirled and sprinted away.

He came to an abrupt stop when he reached the track interchange. Barret and Red XIII stood to the side while the girls helped Zack scrape stone flakes off his arms and hair from a partial petrification. As they worked, Aerith scolded the doleful looking SOLDIER while Yuffie and Tifa fought their laughter.

"Next time Cloud says something isn't worth it, I'm going to listen," Zack muttered to Yuffie. She snickered and skipped to Cloud's side, proudly handing him ten Phoenix Downs. The corner of his mouth twitched in a slight smile as he pocketed the shimmering feathers. Clapping one of Zack's dusty shoulder pauldrons, Cloud led the party on.

They followed the tracks for miles, fending off dozens of monster attacks. The setting sun dyed the sky an angry orange as they limped across a massive rope bridge into North Corel. Zack's normal energy faded under the soot and burns from Bomb suicide explosions. Aerith nodded in his arms, her legs coated in stone as the Soft worked to reverse her petrification.

Yuffie giggled drunkenly as she patted her crackling locks. She and the static-fluffed Red XIII suffered multiple Thunder Kiss attacks from Needle Kisses. The normally placid feline muttered a snarled litany as he bitterly chewed a clump of sapphire-blue wing feathers. They all nursed one injury or another and their frayed tempers were more than ready to burst.

High-strung and angry at the excess of monster attacks, only Barret was unsurprised at the angry reception and bitter accusations at the town entrance.

"You've got a lotta nerve coming back here!" One man spat. The gray coverall-suited man's fist didn't get higher than his shoulder before Tifa straight-punched him through the wall of a nearby tent.

Snarling, she grabbed the man's companion and gritted through her teeth, "I don't care what your deal is, but we're tired, sore, and angry. Show us where we can sleep and I'll let you keep your teeth."

The man's wide eyes flicked to the twitching legs sticking out of the hole in the tent and he nodded frantically.

"Good," she snapped, grabbing his shoulders and spinning him around. She clutched a fist-full of the fabric behind his neck and barked, "March!"

They followed the man through a maze of ashy canvas tents. A few curious people peeked between their tent flaps. Another angry-looking man growled at Barret as they passed. Red XIII snarled back, peeling his lips from his sharp fangs. The party surrounded their friend and answered dirty looks with murderous glares.

They climbed two ramps to reach the hollow that served as the town's inn. Shifting her grip on the man's clothes so she could look him in the eye, Tifa waved everyone inside. Cloud stood in the doorway, right hand on the hilt of his sword. She rolled her eyes at him and then pulled a wallet out of her pocket and waved it under the trembling man's nose. "I ripped the right arms off 50 Bombs on the way here," she hissed. Her left glove creaked as she tightened her grip on the fabric of the man's shoulder.

"Now I don't know what your deal is with my friend, and I don't really _care_," she growled, tossing her head sharply and pulling some gil from the wallet. "You tell your buddy that he's lucky to pay for our stay instead of losing his arm too. Got it?"

By this point, the man looked like his head would fall off at the speed he was nodding.

"Good," Tifa purred, flicking the wallet to the ground and releasing him. He collapsed bonelessly to the dirt. She sauntered past Cloud into the inn.

The blond glared down at the white-faced man and murmured, "You should be glad Tifa got to you first; she's the only one of us who fights unarmed." He spun on his heel and followed Tifa. The man's eyes traced the massive sword on Cloud's back and then rolled up in a dead faint.

Inside the rectangular hollow cave, the old man at the scrap-metal desk shot Barret a shocked look. He gave his price, took the money from Tifa and bowed out, promising to bring them a meal.

Barret slumped in the corner and smeared a blackened patch on his Atomic Scissors with one finger. Aerith staggered to his side and patted the large man's shoulder. "We know something is weird here, but we won't force you to tell us."

"No," Barret sighed. "'S better if I tell ya. Then you'll know that I deserve their hate."

"At least wait until morning," Yuffie yawned, curling up against Red XIII's side. "We're too tired to take it in right now."

* * *

"So let me get this straight," Zack sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose after hearing Barret's tale. "Everyone agreed to the reactor?"

"'Cept Dyne," Barret agreed with a nod.

"And _Shinra_ burned the town down?" Zack continued, folding his arms.

Barret scowled and nodded.

"You weren't even in town, got your arm shot off by Shinra, and these losers blame _you_ for what happened?" Zack's voice dripped with disgust.

"Er..." Barret blinked, not quite sure how to respond with it worded that way.

"Please don't think to harshly of the young ones," the old innkeeper's voice quavered as he stepped into the room. "We thought it was safer to put the blame on someone beyond reach. We drew the names of folks we thought were dead in order to prevent foolish quests of vengeance."

Barret stiffened. His mouth opened and closed a few times and then he spluttered, "Ya' mean I got the blame 'cause ya' drew my name outta a _hat_?"

"Well, none of us had a hat, so really it was a bucket but-" he choked off at the deep growl coming from Barret's throat. Yelping once, he fled.

Barret fumed silently, his fist clenched so tightly it trembled. The others exchanged silent looks, unsure how to proceed. "Damn it," the large man growled, shaking his head. "I ain't gonna beat myself up 'bout this any more. Let's keep movin'."

"Right," Zack nodded and turned to Cloud. "Before we go, is there any treasure for us to pick up here?"

The pseudo-SOLDIER blinked at Zack and Yuffie's eager grins. He scratched his head and sighed. "Just one thing, but it is a little tricky to get to..."

"I'll get it!" Yuffie chirped, bouncing to the rough sheet of metal that served as the inn door.

"Not if I find it first!" Zack boasted, slinging the Hardedge across his back.

Cloud rolled his eyes and snorted, "I'll give you half an hour, then meet back here whether you find it or not."

"Right, may the best man win!" Zack crowed and dashed into the early morning light.

"You mean the 'best woman'!" Yuffie screeched, scampering after him.

"Zack!" Aerith cried in horror. She whirled on Cloud and cried, "Don't you realize they'll tear these people's homes apart?"

Cloud smirked, "Considering the reception they gave Barret, I won't weep too hard."

Aerith blinked and twirled her right index finger around a lock of her hair. Seeing Barret's silent nod of gratitude to the blond, she sighed. "Right. I'll make sure they're back in time," she stated firmly. She hefted her Striking Staff and slipped outside.

An hour later, the scowling Ancient dragged the whining former SOLDIER First back inside.

Yuffie looked up from the mini war she held between the dozen SOLDIER action figures she found and a stuffed kitten. Judging by the disorganized figurines, the kitten was winning.

Red's flaming tail flicked once as he looked up from the "battle". He leveled a flat look on Zack and huffed, "I perceive that punctuality is not one of your strengths."

Zack pouted, the message coming through clearly. "Oh yeah, well where's Cloud?" he returned petulantly.

"He left a minute ago to get the item," Yuffie answered, shoving the figurines in her pouch and hugging the stuffed calico. "Since you're finally back, I'll share what I learned when he gets here."

As if summoned, the sheet metal door scraped across the dirt floor, admitting Cloud and Tifa. He nodded at Aerith and then raised an eyebrow at Zack who laughed sheepishly and scratched the back of his neck.

Tifa shared a grin with Aerith and then turned to Yuffie, "So what was the news you had?"

"Yuffie shifted to lean against Red XIII's furred shoulder. She frowned, balancing the kitten on her left knee and sighed, "Bad news I'm afraid. There's been a lot of snow and rain in the east and the ferry was damaged in the spring floods."

"I suppose it is too much to hope that will stop Sephiroth," Aerith sighed, folding her arms. A grim silence followed her rhetorical question.

Zack's brow furrowed and he volunteered, "When I was a boy, there were special vehicles that crossed the river. We might ask around and see if someone hung on to one."

Barret snorted, "We ain't gonna find one here."

"No," Cloud agreed, "but I think I might know where we can start asking..."

* * *

Yuffie dashed off the shiny blue cable car and put her head between her knees wheezing. Cloud and the others disembarked at a much more sedate pace. Cloud grimaced at the man in a rotund chocobo outfit and the massive chocobo-mog mosaic in the small walled plaza. Playful music piped in from speakers along the cartoonish tree walls.

"I have a feeling I'm going to get sick of that music," Aerith muttered to Tifa.

Cloud approached the woman in a short black and pink uniform holding a sign by a massive stuffed chocobo. The eyes of the orange and red entrance stared creepily into the distance. Before he reached her, he froze and pulled out his PHS. He read something on the screen and then pocketed it with a sigh. Shaking his head, he fished out a large wad of gil.

"Cloud-?" Tifa started, her voice uncertain and her eyes wide at the amount he passed to the ticket vendor.

"Whoa!" Zack cried, shaking his head. "No wonder the Gold Saucer's called that if tickets cost that much!"

Cloud rolled his eyes and took the golden card. "Kunsel told me to get the lifetime pass instead of a day pass," he explained wincing at the very flat money pouch.

A strange expression came across Zack's face, "Did you tell him we were here?"

Cloud sighed, shook his head, and waved the others over. Zack scowled at the brush-off, but his expression lightened when Aeith slipped her hand into his. With Cloud's gold pass, they passed through the gate into the Station hub. Seven rainbow ringed holes and a map lined the walls. Yuffie scowled bitterly at the chocobo and mog motif across the floor as she unconsciously stoked the red materia in her bracer.

Cloud assessed the party and then said, "We need to find transportation and this is our best bet. Zack and Aerith, you're together. Tifa will be with me. Barret, Red and Yuffie stay together and meet back here in three hours.

* * *

After asking around for a while, Zack and Aerith headed for Wonder Square. Just before hopping into the access tunnel, Aerith touched an envelope in her pocket and smiled.

The plaza outside the arcade was lit in a bluish shade, hinting at a moonlit night. Once Zack shot out of the tube behind her, she took his large hand and pulled him to a secluded bench. She guided him to sit. In the darkened corner, his confused eyes shone like back-lit amethysts. She rested her hands on his shoulders and smirked down at him.

She slid her hands up his shoulders and cupped his face. "I got your letter," she whispered, resting her left knee on the bench between his legs.

Zack's eyes widened and he paled. "You weren't supposed to get it yet, I wasn't done writ-"

She took her right hand off his cheek and stopped his protest with one finger. "Shh-" she soothed, lifting the finger and cupping his face again. "I think it was perfect." She ducked her head and sealed his lips with her own.

Zack responded with enthusiasm, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into his lap. Her arms dropped around his neck pulling him closer.

An abashed voice cleared its throat and asked in a strange accent, "Ye wouldn't happen to want your fortunes told, would you?"

* * *

"Sorry Cloud," Tifa choked, trying to fight her giggles as she patted his shoulder. "I didn't realize when we split up that I picked the section with chocobo racing."

The blond sighed and looked up at Barret and Red's approach. Yuffie was no where in sight.

"You lost her?" Tifa theorized, biting her lower lip.

"I hoped two watchers would help, but..." Cloud trailed off.

"We kept up with her 'til she caught sight of the hotel," Barret snorted. "That girl's really got a problem with spooks."

Before Cloud could do more than roll his eyes, Zack and Aerith returned with a massive white mog. A caped and crowned Sylvester cat perched on its head. Cloud quirked a questioning eyebrow at Zack.

The taller man scuffed the toe of his boot on the ground, "This is Cait Sith, he followed me home, can we keep him?"

Cloud groaned, palming his face. Tifa's eyes locked on Aerith and Zack's interlocked fingers. She raised her eyebrows at the green-eyed girl. Aerith winked and Tifa squealed, shooting her a double thumbs up. The pair froze, suddenly realizing that all conversation ceased and the males regarded them with mixed bemusement and confusion.

Tifa coughed and asked, "So did you guys find any information?"

"Nothing," Zack mourned, shoulders slumping. He perked up, looking around, "By the way, where's-"

"WHOA!" Yuffie screeched from behind them. "Where did you find _that_?" She gaped at Cait Sith. She clutched a large stuffed chocobo under her left arm and a half-eaten cotton candy in her right hand. A dozen beaded necklaces hung across her chest and a chocobo hat hung at an odd angle on her head. "I wanna get one! What booth had it?" She squealed, circling the robot.

"Sorry lassie, I'm one-of-a-kind," Cait responded.

Yuffie's eyes bulged at the unanticipated response. She shot Cloud a confused look and remarked, "You seem to attract talking cats of all types don't you?"

Cloud grimaced, but couldn't refute the accusation.

"Hey!" Zack protested, "Why did you play when we're supposed to be finding transportation?"

Yuffie stamped her foot petulantly, "I worked too!"

"Looks like you 'worked' the game booths." Zack folded his arms and glared down at her.

She grinned cheekily, "Hey, I'm good at throwing things. I always make a killing at carnival games before they ban me."

"Two things and some beads ain't a killin'," Barret scoffed.

"Oh, this is just my latest batch," Yuffie shrugged. "I put the rest in Cloud's pouch."

"What?" Cloud yelped, hand going to his pouch. He opened it and peered inside, eyes widening. "When did you-? How did-?"

Tifa leaned over and peeked into the bag. She whistled and reached elbow deep into the pouch. Barret grimaced, but resisted the urge to look away. She pulled out a tiny plush chocobo, cooing over its soft fur. "You can have it if you want," Yuffie offered, beaming at Tifa's grateful smile.

Zack folded his arms and drawled, "You're not really convincing us you worked."

"Well what do _you_ guys have so far?" she huffed defensively, sticking the last of her cotton candy in her mouth and tossing the stick in a well concealed trash receptacle.

Barret and Red exchanged abashed looks. "No one wanted to talk to us," Barret admitted.

Cloud flushed and shook his head, "The best we got was advice about river chocobos. We really don't have time or a place for breeding." He raised a brow for Zack and Aerith to speak.

"We heard about some vehicles, but no one is renting," Aerith admitted. "There's a bus, but it just left and won't be back for several days."

"Hah," Yuffie puffed her chest out, beads rattling with the movement. She pulled a notebook from the bulky cover on her left arm. She cleared her throat pompously and reported, "I asked about the buggies you mentioned Zack," she nodded at the former SOLDIER. "It took a bit of digging, but I found someone how has one he isn't using."

Tifa stroked the girl's hair fondly. "Wow, you're amazing! So who is it?"

She beamed at the praise and affectionate touch and then grinned, shooting Barret a meaningful look. "That's the best part. The owner is also the man behind the Gold Saucer. Dio, formerly known as Danny Olero."

Barret's jaw dropped and Zack frowned asking, "Isn't that the guy who made those crazy rails?"

Yuffie smirked and gave him a thumbs-up. "Exactly!" she crowed and waved to the park around them. "It makes sense considering all of this. Anyway, according to my sources, he's usually at the Battle Square."

Yuffie barely finished the sentence before Barret dashed for the tube leading to the arena. Aerith tilted her head to the side in confusion. "What's the hurry?" she wondered, following with the others at a much more sedate pace.

Cloud and the party emerged from the gates at the base of the violet carpeted stairs only to have a hysterical woman pass them, screaming about a shooting. Cloud and Zack exchanged worried looks and dashed up the stairs to the Battle Square. Crimson splattered across the walls and checker tiled floors of the lobby. Barret stood frozen in the midst of the carnage. A woman's whimpers sounded from behind a counter.

A muscular man in an orange speedo strode into the room. The burly security guards behind him couldn't match his bulk. The woman whimpered, "A man with a gun arm..."

The large man's cold, amber eyes flicked from the red-painted walls to Barret's arm. "Toss 'em in the tank," he snapped.

"But he doesn't even have a gun arm!" Zack protested, gesturing to the Atomic Scissors on Barret's arm. Dio snapped his fingers and a half-dozen mechanized sentries joined the soldiers. "Hey!" Zack yelped as a machine swooped in, pinning his arms to his sides.

"Sorry, orders are orders," one of the men replied.

"We didn't do this!" Aerith protested, trembling in the mechanized arms of another machine. One by one they captured the outnumbered party and then marched through the grungy back paths of the Golden Saucer.

Rust coated crowd-rails, yanked from the concrete floor lined the walls of the poorly lit plaza. Stained warning signs hung over the doors of the defunct attraction. Cloud struggled to make out the name under black mold and closure signs but couldn't manage before he was taken inside. Thick, rusting chains hung off the grimy walls and a greenish sludge coated the stone flooring. A huge metal circle dominated the center of the floor. The purplish ring around it read "Gateway To Heaven".

A soldier manipulated a computer on the wall and the doors slid open, revealing a black pit. The mechanized sentry in front of Cloud tossed Red down the hole. The scrabbling screech of his claws along the metal walls faded with the distance.

Cloud's captor walked to the hole, dangling him above the darkness. Hot, dry air blasted from below, this wasn't a gateway to Heaven. If anything, it was a tunnel to Hell. "This is a mistake!" Cloud protested, twisting his head to plead with Dio. "We're innocent!"

Dio raised his arm and turned the thumb down. The bone crushing grip loosened and Cloud fell into darkness.

* * *

Thank you so much for your responses last chapter. I'm not certain when I'll get the cut scenes posted, but I have a growing collection of them. XD

When I play the section between Costa del Sol and Corel, I always fall all three times even if I already got the items. Am I the only one who does this?


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